[Closed] Dumbest break-ups

Mmmm... salty boobs....

yeti, she commanded me to tear out her nipple rings... now i'm all up for some fun, but i wasnt too keen on walking home the next morning covered in nipple blood.

I'm thinking about dumping a girl because she's a vegetarian. And doesn't drink. And she doesn't watch films. Lovely girl, amazing body, great fun, but everything's just a bit too much like hard work.

I'm not looking for a female version of me, but everything seems to be a compromise or a sacrifice.

I'll probably regret it, but it's not right.

And what is it with tee-totallers? They just seem so smug and self-righeous...

I finished with a bi-sexual that enjoyed having things put up her bottom.

While this may be a lot of people's fantasy, she was very needy and had an interesting grasp on reality.

I decided while on holiday in Cambodia that I really didn't need the relationship in my life, so finished on return.

I can't believe how many of you wusses don't like having a girl you can smash about... MTFU!

So let me get this right... if a girl turns nasty and screams 'spank me like a b*tch' as she claws your face off, you're actually supposed to do it?

Ohhhh. 😳

I worked with someone who's fiance left him when they were having a cottage holiday in Wales.

They were, errm, being intimate doggy style when he threw the sheepskin rug off the floor onto her back and asked her to make aheep noises.

On the flipside. As a kid I was really quite possessive/needy and lost a couple of really nice girls because of it. So I imagine on the ^^ a few 'hard work' girls were actually going through a phase and are probably well adjusted now..

Or just STW'ers 😯

Ok... so tearing out nipple rings is a bit extreme... EDITED as I'm stuck at home today.

Camo - you just need to show that bitch who the boss is, dogs are pack animals and need a clear sense of who the pack leader is. Oh wait a minute you're talking about a lady?

Only problem was she played the Kelly Clarkeson album throughout

Was round her house, her parents were asleep and she put the album on it was [i]Parade[/i]. Every frickin' song is embedded in my brain and if I hear one now I have to throw or break something 🙂

My mate got off with a girl from Finchley who was a bit extreme. She said she would do anything he wanted as long as he didnt reject her. Got through the door of her flat and she says in this little girl voice "I have been really bad and need to be punished" he thought it would be a spanking session but the truth is she wanted him to beat the crap out of her, very sad and very damaged. He just couldnt do it and she started screaming that he was a ****er and all the rest. I dont think he ever got over it.

Oh www I did larf 😀

Why not have a cheeky shag on the side?

Their beaks are sharp, dude - you'd lose your tongue! 8)

Camo - you just need to show that bitch who the boss is, dogs are pack animals and need a clear sense of who the pack leader is. Oh wait a minute you're talking about a lady?

Have you considered writing the Southern Yeti's Man Guide to Relationships? I'm sure there's plenty of emotionally sensitive under confident youngsters who'd snap up a copy. 8)

Not really dumped but I once went out with a girl who liked (and this is going back a bit) Spandau Ballet.
Was round her house, her parents were asleep and she put the album on it was Parade. Every frickin' song is embedded in my brain and if I hear one now I have to throw or break something

A decade on, Queen still gives me the willies. Same reason.

Pigface sounds like my experience. It wasn't quite what I expected pseudo-masacism to be.

Pigface, thats grim!

Oh I've just remembered one. 😳
I stopped seeing this girl when I discovered she wasn't a natural blonde.

I couldn't help it, it just turned me right off!

[i]pseudo-masacism[/i]

it's not real masochism, then 😉

😆

I was finished by a girlfriend once because I wouldn't have sex enough. Seriously I had had enough. It was relentless.

My first date with her was the same day I was meant to be getting married (I had split from my fiancee a coupole of months earlier). Within an hour of the date starting (and at around midday, on the verandah of her mum and dad's house) she had me perform oral on her. And that was just for starters.

We worked together and she would take me back to the house every lunchtime for sex, then get intimate in cinemas, in her car (one memorable liaison at the foot of Emley Moor TV mast in a storm - I still giggle every time I drive by it) in her Metro. Then there was the time she insisted I had her in the front room of a friend's house. In the middle of a party - all I remember was my friends coming in and out and cheering. And the time at my mum & dad's house when she was on her period.

Ohh and then there was the time her dog walked in on us...

I was utterly and completely exhausted - all this was over about 10 weeks I think and I probably haven't had sex that many times since 🙂

I do wish I had met her when I was a little bit older and more up for experimenting 🙂

pseudo-masacism

proper lol 🙂

Predictive text malfunction:

My long term girlfriend at the time was out of town but I got on really well with her parents so I texted her Mum to see if they wanted to go to the pub for a bite to eat.

The local pub in the village is called the crown. The text should have said:

Fancy getting food in the crown?

Unfortunately it was written as:

"Fancy getting done in the brown?!"

Rotfl, class

A mate of mine got dumped after a a few predictive text malfunctions.
Every time he wrote "Honey" in a text it was changed to "Goofy". The first one raised a laugh, the second and eye brow and the 5 or 6 after that her tempreture.
I think she might have had a a secret paranoia about her teeth....

it was changed to "Goofy".

'Mickey, you can't get a divorce from Minnie on the grounds that she has buck teeth'.

'I didn't say she had buck teeth, I said she's ******* Goofy'

😆

emma82 - Member

*edit I dumped my now husband about 6 months in because he was completely sex mad. Literally every 5 minutes. Drove me mad.

What, you married Hora?

I'm thinking about dumping a girl because she's a vegetarian. And doesn't drink. And she doesn't watch films. Lovely girl, amazing body, great fun, but everything's just a bit too much like hard work.

She can drive you back from the steak house plastered. Cheap date, too.

emma82 what do you class as 'sex mad'? Three times a day every day or a STWer-special (once a month).

ScottChegg - Member

She can drive you back from the steak house plastered. Cheap date, too.

I've considered this, but it feels like you're getting drunk in front of ones parents. I'm not a lush, but I quite like getting larruped with a lady and having silly drunken sex... Is that too much to ask??

Also, I've come to the conclusion that vegetarianism is a disability. It's a childish, petty, self-inflicted disability, but it's disabling nonetheless. Tee-totalism is similar, but worse.

3/4 times a day, hour or so each at least. Do manage that still a few times a month not but generally we are a twice a week couple now 😳

Take a positive out of it- he obviously finds you hot 😀 Some blokes don't with their partners and vice versa.

I don't see myself as sexmad although if I ****ed less I'd probably have some energy to ride (a bike) instead of being knackered all the time 😆

Lordy... I've quite a lot of there. I won't go into a list but two stand out.

A notable one was told to dump me by her mother. Via a seance.

After her I went out with this Swedish girl for a while. He was about 80% of my ideal, up for it most of the time, attractive, intellectual and well travelled. However, she had absolutely no sense of humour whatsoever. In all the time I dated her, she never once laughed.

And I failed to dump her three times. Seriously. I sat her down, had the chat with her and she stared at me blankly. I asked if she was alright and then she invited me back to hers for sex. I declined, explaining that I'd just finished the relationship and went home. The very next weekend, she turned up at my door and invited herself in. It only stopped once I started ignoring her texts and calls.

Tis the opposite problem now, I want more, he wants less so we sort of even out 😯

I don't know why I am having this conversation with you and I never knew you were sex mad in the first place.

MFs ex was definately an addict. Be interested to know what the dog did when it walked in on you MF......

Father in law walked in on us once. Didn't hurry to sod off either cheeky git.

Father in law walked in on us once. Didn't hurry to sod off either cheeky git.

I once walked in on my bestmate in the middle of the night and sat in the corner of the room with my mug of red wine. A while later I said 'looks good, can I have a go'?

To which she shreaked 'arrghh get out you perv mark'!

I sulked out

and I never knew you were sex mad in the first place.

Yes. Ask anyone I drink/ride with- its a topic that sometimes 'pops up'

I used to date this girl who had a cat. Lovely thing it was, the only problem was that said daffy girl used to insist on sleeping with the cat on her bed every night.

If the cat couldn't sleep on the bed because it was "in use", it would sit on the bedside table and stare at me until we'd finished. The expression was like nothing I've seen before or since on a cat, like it was totally captivated with me. Right next to the cat was a photo of her dad.

It's a terrible distraction when you're getting the jester's shoes I can tell you.

Ok, tooo much infoooooo!!

I've been walked in on once, whilst babysitting. Not too compromising as we heard the car pull up, but red faced non the less.

I've been walked in on once, whilst babysitting.

😯

Sure, we've all been babysitting non? I was 17 at the time, she was...19 I think and a bit of a hippie IIRC, ahhh yes the kaftan and doc martins combo..

eeeek...

Charlotte!!!

Fekme, she was actually really lovely.. bit of a Stevie Nicks lookalikeee

Told by her drunk Dad, it would be better if I did not see her daughter again, while he pointed a 12 bore down my nose!

While she, in the background was saying 'I was joking Dad I am not pregnant'

😯

At the time I was more shocked about her being possibly pregnant than the cold bit of steel resting on my nose!

Never, never, never date a farmers daughter!

😉

I was 17 at the time, she was...19

Whew!

After last night's 'treasure hunts for 11 yr old girls' thread title I was starting to worry about the STW male massif. 😆

I dumped a girl because she had ugly ears, She had long hair wich covered them most of the time, but when she wore her hair back ... i can still see them now,(Flash back rambo stlyle) 😯
she was rely nice. Nice body and personality but i just couldnt get past the ears.

A bit like kyle rely fantastic body but the ears are a killer for me.

"You couldn't get pastt he ears"

Ehhh?? Were they really that big??

Phah..

Last nights 11yr old thread?? Glad I was on my bike..

I don't know why I am having this conversation with you and I never knew you were sex mad in the first place.

I could help you out if hes dipping whilst you are on the 'up 8)

Hora! down boy, down!

There is a difference between being a sex god and a sex pest 🙂

Lynn these are sex people!

I was finished by a girlfriend once because I wouldn't have sex enough. Seriously I had had enough. It was relentless.

I had one of those. Fun times. Quite sore times, but fun times nonetheless. 😀

I was finished by a girlfriend once because I wouldn't have sex enough. Seriously I had had enough. It was relentless.

I knew a few of these. True Nymphomaniacs are really really hard to find and should be treasured.