[Closed] Dilemma

Are there to be any cucumbers involved here?

A person, I reckon a chick has got to be a better kisser than a chimp...

Dumb question! A seal every time, all those curves, loads of blubber to hang on too, need I go on. Goats - legs are too skinny, chimp - bad breath and a hairy arse does nothing for me.

Are you asking for any reason BigDummy? What are you planning to do??
😆

Two phrases immediately spring to mind:

"Any hole is a goal" and "You're only gay if you take it."

Therefore I'd go for the same-sex option. What time do you want me round BigDummy?

[i]I reckon a chick has got to be a better kisser than a chimp[/i] Ah you thought about kissing, you're a girl aren't you.

Graham raises an interesting point.

I think we have to assume for these purposes that the same-sex-same-species coupling is fairly each way rather than necessarily involving just giving and taking.

I guess with the straight animal sex we would be looking at (for the boys) penetrating the animal, and possibly some oral each way if the animal is not too bitey. Girls will be penetrated by the animal, and probably again oral each way, teeth permitting.

And, obviously, as much kissing and cuddling as you like in all scenarios.
🙂

if the animal is not too bitey

I'm trying hard not to giggle too loud and attract attention in the office :o)

Suddenly celibacy seems so much more attractive...

Mind you a chimp would be pretty good on the cuddling side of things, a seal would be a bit slippy for that and I could never cuddle a goat. No I'm sticking with the seal.

Oh and is it any sex of the other species or same sex/opposite sex scenario.

No I'm sticking with the seal.

you mean "No I'm sticking to the seal"

and suddenly slippy is bad ??

simonfbarnes - Member

Suddenly celibacy seems so much more attractive...

I'm sure all your ex-partners reached the same conclusion.

I'm sure all your ex-partners reached the same conclusion

oooh, harsh 🙁

Gary_M - Member
I reckon a chick has got to be a better kisser than a chimp Ah you thought about kissing, you're a girl aren't you.

Well, I wouldn't be getting much length from any of the options, so I thought I'd look on the positives and go for the best kisser...

How many of you saw the film Animal Farm at some point during your adolescence? (And I don't mean the 'four legs good two legs bad' version either 😯

I rather vividly remember it being on at a mates house party when I was about 15 or so. I have no idea who had the copy or where they had got it from, but **** me it was bad.

Mind you, not as bad as the viral marketing video that went around a company I used to work for. This was a round 1996 so it was when email was still pretty new. It was a short clip of a woman felating a horse (a grand national winner by the looks of him). The really bad part is when the horse deposits himself, copiously into her mouth and it's sort of too much for her to contain so to speak. This little video went round the company being constantly forwarded on by everyone until one day, someone opened it and screamed in horror at the contents just as the MD was walking past.

The only reason no one got fired was because they would have had to fire about 70% of the company but the next day we all got a note that defined what was 'acceptable' and what was 'unacceptable' email behaviour!

So that'll be the end of this thread then.

[i]Well, I wouldn't be getting much length from any of the options[/i]

😯 😯 😯 😯 😯

Gary, I rather assumed the animal was of the opposite sex. I think if you [i]want[/i] a same-sex animal then the each-way rule applies.

So you're saying that if I was gay male I would have to get jiggy with a male seal? If the seal was my preferred option.

Is this like a real dilema you have BigDummy?

why couldn't it have been a fluffy sheep ?

FoxyChick - Member
Well, I wouldn't be getting much length from any of the options

Just explaining my reasoning to the chap who thinks that I'm soppy for thinking about kissing 😉

Jeezzzuuusss ... My brain hurts just trying to come up with a reason.

The answer is perhaps just go with human of the same sex. Safer in the sense that you will not create a manimal.

I still think you have a 3rd choice by not doing anything at all or with your own hand.

No, the sin of onan is absolutely not an option here, it is a coward's way out. You must choose.

🙂

You'll be riding a singlespeed next, moreover a Marin singlespeed.
[shudder]

Is this an easier choice for a woman than a man then? It seems a no brainer to me.

[i]Is this an easier choice for a woman than a man then?[/i] Obvioulsy. If I 'went with' a man it would be disgusting, if a woman went with a woman it would be interesting.

A person, I reckon a chick has got to be a better kisser than a chimp...

You never know, 'till you give it a go................. 😉

[img] http://images.fotopic.net/?iid=yvt6yb&outx=800&quality=70 [/img]

What the hell is your life like BigDummy that this a dilemma for you on a Monday afternoon? 😯

Oh, and it's a no brainer...I'm with Jojo on this!! 😉

You see, I'm absolutely with jojo on this. Bloke every time for me. It's quite fun to think about the seal, but it's not a serious option. 😯

FoxyChick - Member
I'm with Jojo on this!!

Pics?

😈 😉 😈

Is the bloke gonna tell his mates that BigDummy shagged him - yes. Is the seal? No brainer for me.

Seal goat or chimpanzee...what kind of a fu&*ed up choice is that? It's like a pornographic petting zoo.

some hot chimps ride bikes

[img] [/img]

Is it even a dilemma?

Here's a dilema:

For them that like women: Brad Pitt or Anne Widdecombe?
For them that like men: Angelina Jolie or Michael Winner?

I would imagine it would be difficult to find where to put it with a seal... they look so.... hermetically sealed, if you'll excuse the pun!

With all that blubber it wouldn't be a problem.

But they don't have any 'folds' for the purposes (or should it be porpoises?) of frottage...

thomthumb, she's a honey. I'd have saved that one for this Friday's A&A 8)

[i]What the hell is your life like...that this a dilemma for you on a Monday afternoon?[/i]

Obviously, I like to have a well-planned Monday evening.

[i]Seal, goat or chimpanzee...what kind of a fu&*ed up choice is that?[/i]

I was thinking that they were, in order, an animal that was a bit odd but quite clean-looking, an animal that was like a sheep but had none of the Welsh bestiality baggage, and an animal that was very like a person.

🙂

[i]a bit odd but quite clean-looking,[/i] Now I know why I'm attracted to the seal, thats what I see when I look in the mirror 😉

But they don't have any 'folds' for the purposes

You're putting a lot of thought into this Jocarda! I hadn't got as far as thinking about what might go where...

and an animal that was very like a person

maybe in the company [b]you [/b]keep 🙁

and an animal that was very like a person

maybe in the company you keep

Or he's seen the mugshots thread?

aah g'warn! A chimp looks more like a person that most animals do! Think of the rhino, or the otter. How about a tortoise? Face it, if you want animal loving but don't want to get too far out of your comfort zone a chimp is where it's at. 🙂

are you allowed to veet the chimp first, so at least it's like a skinny girl with big arms and bow legs. Oh, and a big red bum?

Or, are you allowed to go clubbing with the seal first, just to, err, drop it a couple of roofies?

so at least it's like a skinny girl with big arms and bow legs

now [b]there's[/b] a mental picture I could have done without 🙁