The biggest shock in this thread is she's made it to 14 without being punched or punching someone before.
Punishment does seem a bit lenient to me, but there can be lots of mitigating factors. Not sure that being insulted on social media is one though. Frankly I think a lot of you are ****s but I'd be surprised if saying so would legitimise a punch 😈
I'd say bombers but they might be a bit heavy to get a good swing with as shes only 14. Carbon and aluminium are probably a bit light so a nice steel road fork might be a good compromise?
If it was (or turns out to be) regular bullying then I'd escalate it.
But a one off scrap at school ... meh... happened at my school all the time. Not nice, but not that unexpected of 14 year old kids.
Just help her deal with it.
This.
I'd say bombers
& this...
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Out of interest what sanction did you expect?
I'm sure staff that investigated the incident will have taken all aspects into consideration including any previous form.
Just get her to to take the girl out with her lacrosse stick.
Don't be too harsh on the other kid, she may be from a terrible home with an alcoholic father, disgruntled cleaner and terrible coffee.
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Don't be too harsh on the other kid, she may be from a terrible home with an alcoholic father, disgruntled cleaner and terrible coffee.
🙂
My son;s school have a police liaison officer - they involved them when he was punched (without initially asking us) and the kid who hit him was given words plus a two week suspension. He was a year above and bigger though and there was video evidence on someones mobile.
Middle_oab was cornered, forced against a wall and punched a couple of weeks back. Perp was a lad he has history with and who has long history of bullying others.
Middle_oab was grilled by us and given a tough time by head of year for his winding up and reaction in the situation, quite rightly so as well.
The other side has had detention and parents informed.
Life moves on now.
Don't be too harsh on the other kid, she may be from a terrible home with an alcoholic father, disgruntled cleaner and terrible coffee.
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suburbanreuben - MemberWrong. There's three.
You are Gary Cherone and I claim my £5.
@legend, we check her social media regularly and it isn't something she would do. She isn't that type of kid.
If you think you can monitor all a kids social media - you are wrong!
I gave up trying - life's to short to read teenage girls online ramblings! 😀
martial arts classes.
My daughter got kicked in the face yesterday during a Tae Kwon Do competition, right cracker it was. Even if you don't want your daughter to fight back it helps them to deal with a punch or kick.
Hope your kids okay OP?
What you need to do is put your daughter through a montage and she can then beat up the other girl. You must perform the montage to this:
martial arts classes.
This tbh, I've just enrolled two of my girls in a Karate school, I sat in last week and the Sensai was teaching the class practical self defence if someone was trying to bully them, grab them or push them etc.
Schools aren't often the best at sorting the problem out. For instance my sisters daughter was getting bullied, numerous complaints the school did nothing, complaints to the Mother, nothing. The stupid teacher in charge of bullying was very 'pally' with the girls mother and was often seen at the school gates laughing and joking with her. Roll on a few months the bully had another target it had got serious, the bullied girl was actually making herself sick in the mornings so she didn't have to go to school, a complaint went in, the school did nothing. Her Father got fed up with this went into the school and threatened the teacher with real physical violence if it carried on, then went round to the girls house and threatened to beat the sh*t out of him every time his bullying daughter so much as looked at his daughter. Do you know what happened? The bullying immediately stopped and nobody got a good hiding. Sometimes violence is the only language these idiots understand.
I'm not suggesting you do any of the above (except maybe the self defence classes) it was just a very infuriating story I wanted to share.
A punch thrown and landed without provocation especially in an unequal conflict would be a couple of days suspension at our gaff. With parents in with dept head for a 'chat' before being allowed back in circulation.
Fire rarely cancels fire and i doubt this approach often ends with such a resounding victoryDo you know what happened? The bullying immediately stopped and nobody got a good hiding. Sometimes violence is the only language these idiots understand.
Schools aren't often the best at sorting the problem out. For instance my sisters daughter was getting bullied, numerous complaints the school did nothing,
In fairness to schools they can't resort to threats (which is what you claimed worked in this case). They can only escalate consequences through their behaviour policy; detentions, behaviour contracts, isolations and fixed term exclusions etc. These don't always work, or can be slow to have desired effect.
On a serious note - please be wary of self defense classes. Most of them teach absolute horse shit that will get you in more trouble. I've spent many years studying different defense techniques with some damned fine teachers. Basic rule of thumb - if it isn't very simple and very violent it's not going to be a great real world defense technique. I may come across as the usual internet know it all, but genuinely get annoyed at some of the dangerous crap I've seen labeled as self defense. Hit fast, hit hard and run away or preferably just option three. Any technique that doesn't involve these isn't worth it.
Anything involving social media in schools is a nightmare.
I know, I wasn't advocating in any way.Fire rarely cancels fire and i doubt this approach often ends with such a resounding victory
They weren't doing anything at all, the teacher who was assigned the anti bullying post was laughing and joking with the bullies mother!n fairness to schools they can't resort to threats (which is what you claimed worked in this case). They can only escalate consequences through their behaviour policy; detentions, behaviour contracts, isolations and fixed term exclusions etc. These don't always work, or can be slow to have desired effect.
better something than nothing, there's some shocking videos doing the rounds on Facebook of kids with no clue being beaten and kicked to bits.On a serious note - please be wary of self defense classes. Most of them teach absolute horse shit that will get you in more trouble
funkmasterpOn a serious note - please be wary of self defense classes. Most of them teach absolute horse shit that will get you in more trouble. I've spent many years studying different defense techniques
I would say +1 to that. There's a lot of shit and nonsense out there. This sounds promising.
Basic rule of thumb - if it isn't very simple and very violent it's not going to be a great real world defense technique.
Oh dear, I must disagree. I too have studied eye gouging, throat punching and testicle kicking and unless you're a sociopath or your getting attacked by ISIS you just won't be able to use it.
Hit fast, hit hard and run away or preferably just option three. Any technique that doesn't involve these isn't worth it.
This is incorrect and will land the OP down the police station after his daughter has just hospitalised/mutilated/killed her assailant.
Anyway, I have a lot of sympathy for the OP and having a young daughter myself I do fear for the future. It seems a much crueler world out there now than the one we grew up in. Joining a martial arts class will be next to useless in the short term dealing with this bully but in 6 months or so she'll probably have additional self confidence to the point where she won't get picked on.
this, karate etc are fitness classes not self defence.funkmasterp - Member
Hit fast, hit hard and run away or preferably just option three. Any technique that doesn't involve these isn't worth it
If it doesn't involve a kick in the balls or a bloody nose it's probably not worth it, and will get you hurt!
you're entitled to self defence.
This is incorrect and will land the OP down the police station after his daughter has just hospitalised/mutilated/killed her assailant.
Somehow I'm reminded of this video....
seosamh77If it doesn't involve a kick in the balls or a bloody nose it's probably not worth it, and will get you hurt!
you're entitled to self defence.
I'm not denying anyone's right to self defence but it has to be justified and proportionate. All this kick in the balls, punch in the throat stuff is for sociopaths. If you have a modicum of pity it's hard enough to do it to a stranger much less a classmate.
An untrained bully might give you/your loved one a bloody nose or a black eye. A trained striker hitting you in the face could concuss, shatter orbital bones, knock out teeth, break jaw bones or just knock someone over so they hit their head and die. And you'll look like the aggressor.
Grappling arts are built on live sparring, techniques that work on 100% resistant opponents. Controlling people, dominating them, and dealing with them using proportional force as the situation requires. This is 2016, this is not a ******* mystery anymore.
Why are you letting the school deal with it, you wouldn't get a carpenter to fix your car. It sounds like an assault, report it to the police and let them decide what to do.
sweepy - Member
Why are you letting the school deal with it, you wouldn't get a carpenter to fix your car. It sounds like an assault, report it to the police and let them decide what to do.
Sounds like normal school stuff,if every kid who punched somebody got hauled off for assault then the cops would be very busy.
Her Father got fed up with this went into the school and threatened the teacher with real physical violence if it carried on, then went round to the girls house and threatened to beat the sh*t out of him every time his bullying daughter so much as looked at his daughter. Do you know what happened?
Other kid's father was even tougher and beat him so bad he's now in hospital trying to figure out how to talk again?
Violence works great until you find someone tougher than you. Or you aren't actually in the right after all.
You are right of course Mike, but the same could be said of many towns on a Friday night, when does it become serious enough to warrant dealing with.
jimjam - Member
seosamh77
If it doesn't involve a kick in the balls or a bloody nose it's probably not worth it, and will get you hurt!you're entitled to self defence.
I'm not denying anyone's right to self defence but it has to be justified and proportionate. All this kick in the balls, punch in the throat stuff is for sociopaths. If you have a modicum of pity it's hard enough to do it to a stranger much less a classmate.An untrained bully might give you/your loved one a bloody nose or a black eye. A trained striker hitting you in the face could concuss, shatter orbital bones, knock out teeth, break jaw bones or just knock someone over so they hit their head and die. And you'll look like the aggressor.
Grappling arts are built on live sparring, techniques that work on 100% resistant opponents. Controlling people, dominating them, and dealing with them using proportional force as the situation requires. This is 2016, this is not a ******* mystery anymore.
You over analyse it.
No one is saying go and master a grappling art ffs, but if you get attacked and you are going to fight back, you hit with enough force to make the attacker think again, otherwise you put yourself in more danger.
Anyhow not fighting is best, by either talking yourself out of it, running faster away, or not getting involved in the first place.
My main point is that martial arts are nonsense outwith their own setting*, in response to suggestions that self defence classes would be useful. all being equal fights generally get won by who is willing to be the most vicious.
We're way OT here anyhow. this is a thread about a couple of teenage girls! 😆 It's hardly a cage match!
*edit: btw you just need to have a look at ufc aswell, even in their own setting, when it gets real, it all gets narrowed down to a very small subset.
Like I said molgrips, I'm not promoting it I was just recounting what happened. Different people react in different ways, no one wants to see their child being bullied out hurt, some are prepared to go to more extreme lengths to prevent it.
And what's with this 'martial arts are nonsense' talk? Learning to block, counter strike, kick, punch, dodge, defend yourself? Not only that the extra strength, fitness and self confidence you gain from it. It isn't nonsense at all.
We're way OT here anyhow. this is a thread about a couple of teenage girls! It's hardly a cage match!
But you knew it would go that way, right.
mitsumonkey - Member
And what's with this 'martial arts are nonsense' talk? Learning to block, counter strike, kick, punch, dodge, defend yourself? Not only that the extra strength, fitness and self confidence you gain from it. It isn't nonsense at all.
That's all nice from a peraonal development people of view. But my observations are that the psychology of fear and how to instill that in others is more important.
Btw I'm not talking about myself personally here incase anyone think is that. I'm a big shite bag that's useless in a fight! 😆
teasel - Member
But you knew it would go that way, right
Not really just how the discussion happened to go. Only so many time you can say, kids fight, get over it. They'll live.
you wanna get yourself some martial arts training then seosamh77 😆I'm a big shite bag that's useless in a fight!
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Hooray! As the father of a 3 month old girl.... I am allowed to contribute to this thread!
Sounds like this is a really great opportunity to talk to your daughter about what life lessons she can take from this. Just basic stuff like why she thinks it might have happened, how she can deal with that sort of situation in future, whether she thinks the punishment was proportional, how she is going to deal with this individual in the future etc etc.
Kids are at school to learn about lots of different things - one of them is how to get along with other people. You're not doing her any favors by stepping in. At 14, she should be learning how to deal with this sort of thing herself.
I think the schools response sounds proportionate.
Oh God, what did I start! Sorry all. Get a tad upset when people mention going to the local karate class to learn defense. Tradition martial arts are great for fitness, discipline and sports though. post was probably best suited to a different thread as this one relates to two teenage girls rather than an adult being attacked.
Depending on how serious the situation was either let the school deal with it or get the police involved. That or teach some good elbow strikes.......runs and hides 🙂
Her Father got fed up with this went into the school and threatened the teacher with real physical violence if it carried on,
At which point the police were informed of a threat of violence and the father received a letter asking him only to attend the school if specifically asked too. And the school's behaviour policy rumbled on.
School's are going down the restorative and not punitive route to try to aolvwnproblema as it's been rightly found that most issues are not deep rooted.
All must be given the chance so even the sociopath must go through the behaviour policy, probably several times, before outside agencies are involved. Permanent exclusion is pretty much a thing of the past as the authority have to pay for the child to attend another school.
I now work in behavioural support and as the policy for the worst offenders comes from above our hands are tied. Police are involved but until the kid hits sixteen they also are pretty much toothless. I do know that in some cases the police know the kids birthday and are just waiting so they can treat them as adults.
At which point the police were informed
Nope, the idiot didn't call the police. The teacher had put himself between a rock and a hard place. Think about it, if he had gone to the police he would of had to admit to doing nothing about the bullying which was part of his job. I don't suppose that would of been well received from the head, letting it escalate to that level.
This really happened I'm not making it up, honest.
