[Closed] Daughter has been punched in school!!!

martial arts classes.

Huh? Kids have fights at school. Happens lots, doesn't it?? Always did when I was there.

Rachel

🙄

So my daughter getting punched is ok then?

lethal injection would seem the most humane way forward.

How do you know she hasn't deleted the posts?

Do? Nothing really.

What do you think would be a more appropriate response?

Does the perpetrator have "previous"?

monkeysfeet - Member
So my daughter getting punched is ok then?

Have you reported her parents to Social Services?

@legend, we check her social media regularly and it isn't something she would do. She isn't that type of kid.

Beat the crap out of her dad?

So my daughter getting punched is ok then?

Sounds like 'snooker ball in sock' time.

"Where's your tool?"...

[quote=monkeysfeet ]@legend, we check her social media regularly and it isn't something she would do. She isn't that type of kid.
What do you think was the [i]real[/i] motive behind the punch then?

Not nice of course.....

But kids do have scraps..

What would you like to see happen to the little offender?

[quote=captainsasquatch ]
[s]Learn[/s][b]TEACH[/b] her to punch back then[s],[/s] martial art classes.
FFS - standards!

take direct action: Slag her family off on social media.

FFS - standards!

Pretty sure there's two sides to every story.
I may be wrong tho.

presumably it wasn't totally random and your daughter got punched for a reason, whether she deleted it, said it face to face, or even rumors jnr said something, not saying its ok but when these thing started when I was at school there was usually a reason.

monkeysfeet - Member
@legend, we check her social media regularly and it isn't something she would do. She isn't that type of kid.

Wouldn't be 100% on that, you never surprise your parents when you were growing up? Of course, the other girl must just be a full-blown nutter that goes around punching people for no reason? Alternatively there's a truth somewhere between the two

Spoke to head of year who said a group of them confronted daughter who said it wasn't her and on of them just punched her. Until I get to speak to the teachers that's all i know.

To he honest, unless there are other circumstances that we're unaware of, it seems the school have dealt with it reasonably.

If I was the parent of the child punched, I dare say I'd think the school hadn't done enough. If I was the parent of the guilty child, I might well think they'd been over the top. Since I'm an objective outsider, which neither of the above can ever be, I'd say the school have probably gone about it the right way.

kids fight adults fight, families and freinds fight, or do you live in some sort of utopian paralel universe, school have taken action, end of mills and boon novel

monkeysfeet - Member

confined to solitary
back in general population tomorrow.

Just checking, she is in school, not Oswald State Penitentiary?

I'd be hoping that you've educated your daughter with enough tolerance and ammunition to deal with the situation herself.

Kids fight all the time, and managing the little mites propensity for jealousy, arguments, tussles over a football etc is all part of their growing up process.

My kids 7. He's very tolerant as we've taught to continue to ask people not to say/do anything again, and repeat. I quote happily taught him that if another kid deliberately punches him and does not stop when asked punch him back.

Shock horror gasp I hear the PC brigade go, but they need to learn to stand up for themselves [i]correctly[/i]. And this involves making a situational judgement taught by the parents.

I'm sorry your daughter got punched, but the other child got punished, and your responsibility is to ensure she knows how to prevent it happening again.

Beat the crap out of her dad?

This, of course.

In fact it's probably already being arranged as you type...

Northwind - Member

Just checking, she is in school, not Oswald State Penitentiary?

Your daughter getting punched isn't OK. I had mild issues with offspring getting attacked, taught him some self-defence and informed the head what I'd taught him. End of problems for junior, start of more effective policing of play time. (you learn some interesting things working on army bases 😉 )

It's been far too many years since I was that age and sweajnr isn't there yet. I threw the odd punch and was punched but in every case it was the final straw after a long escalation of hostilities not a random attack.

So one of mistaken identity, something was said / done or someone telling the perpetrator false hoods.

I'm not sure there is a lot you can do for an isolated incident. If it isn't isolated (i.e happens again) then take steps with school. Also would depend if perpetrator is a repeat offender...

Pretty sure there's two sides to every story.
I may be wrong tho.

Just bloody annoyed. She has only been at the school for 6 months. School probably have acted correctly, I don't want it to escalate to full on bullying. I know girls can be real nasty things at times.

Kryton I'm with you. My lad was recently having issues with a big kid in school. We told him to tell the teacher etc. However I told him that if he smacks him in the nose I certainly won't have an issue with it.

Fighting bad, smacking bullies, good

Beat the crap out of her dad?

always worth checking the size of the dad before this course of action. And how many really bad tattoos he's got on his neck, what mates he did time with, how many steroids he takes, etc, etc.....

what if its a story about hexagons?

difficult without knowing all the facts including what the other girl is like. If she's a repeated offender and this is 'all' she got for the attack then it seems rather light; on the other hand she might be a model pupil who's been repeatedly harassed on social media and (wrongly, it appears) had belief your daughter was involved when the straw broke the camel's back.

No, it's not OK to punch other kids hence why she has been punished. But I'd rely on the school to decide what is appropriate in that respect.

[img] [/img]

We can understand your anger, we'd all be angry, but I'm not sure what you think we can seriously suggest.

I don't want it to escalate to full on bullying.

If its an isolated incident, it hasn't.

Just help her deal with it.

Ha. Maybe some self defence is in order. Anyone got a set of bombers.

Social Media is a ticking time bomb for kids if you ask me, glad I grew up in a age void of it!

It should be renamed antisocial media!

Hope your daughter is ok

Cheers Ski. I think she is shocked more than anything. No issues at her old school at all, so a bit of a shock for me too.

She has only been at the school for 6 months

I'd say there's your problem right there. There will be cliques of girls that have formed from years of schooling together. Most will accept her, but some will always view her as an outsider. Suggest she just spends the next 2 years avoiding those idiots until things move on again after GCSE's. Bullies will eventually move onto the next victim, sad as that may be. Any action on your part will probably just isolate your daughter to more bullying.

The biggest shock in this thread is she's made it to 14 without being punched or punching someone before.

Punishment does seem a bit lenient to me, but there can be lots of mitigating factors. Not sure that being insulted on social media is one though. Frankly I think a lot of you are ****s but I'd be surprised if saying so would legitimise a punch 😈

I'd say bombers but they might be a bit heavy to get a good swing with as shes only 14. Carbon and aluminium are probably a bit light so a nice steel road fork might be a good compromise?

If it was (or turns out to be) regular bullying then I'd escalate it.

But a one off scrap at school ... meh... happened at my school all the time. Not nice, but not that unexpected of 14 year old kids.

Just help her deal with it.

This.

I'd say bombers

& this...

😉

Out of interest what sanction did you expect?
I'm sure staff that investigated the incident will have taken all aspects into consideration including any previous form.

Just get her to to take the girl out with her lacrosse stick.

Don't be too harsh on the other kid, she may be from a terrible home with an alcoholic father, disgruntled cleaner and terrible coffee.

😆

Don't be too harsh on the other kid, she may be from a terrible home with an alcoholic father, disgruntled cleaner and terrible coffee.

🙂

My son;s school have a police liaison officer - they involved them when he was punched (without initially asking us) and the kid who hit him was given words plus a two week suspension. He was a year above and bigger though and there was video evidence on someones mobile.

Middle_oab was cornered, forced against a wall and punched a couple of weeks back. Perp was a lad he has history with and who has long history of bullying others.
Middle_oab was grilled by us and given a tough time by head of year for his winding up and reaction in the situation, quite rightly so as well.
The other side has had detention and parents informed.
Life moves on now.

Don't be too harsh on the other kid, she may be from a terrible home with an alcoholic father, disgruntled cleaner and terrible coffee.

[img] [/img]

😆

suburbanreuben - Member

Wrong. There's three.

You are Gary Cherone and I claim my £5.

@legend, we check her social media regularly and it isn't something she would do. She isn't that type of kid.

If you think you can monitor all a kids social media - you are wrong!

I gave up trying - life's to short to read teenage girls online ramblings! 😀

martial arts classes.

My daughter got kicked in the face yesterday during a Tae Kwon Do competition, right cracker it was. Even if you don't want your daughter to fight back it helps them to deal with a punch or kick.

Hope your kids okay OP?

What you need to do is put your daughter through a montage and she can then beat up the other girl. You must perform the montage to this:

martial arts classes.

A punch thrown and landed without provocation especially in an unequal conflict would be a couple of days suspension at our gaff. With parents in with dept head for a 'chat' before being allowed back in circulation.

Do you know what happened? The bullying immediately stopped and nobody got a good hiding. Sometimes violence is the only language these idiots understand.

Schools aren't often the best at sorting the problem out. For instance my sisters daughter was getting bullied, numerous complaints the school did nothing,

In fairness to schools they can't resort to threats (which is what you claimed worked in this case). They can only escalate consequences through their behaviour policy; detentions, behaviour contracts, isolations and fixed term exclusions etc. These don't always work, or can be slow to have desired effect.

On a serious note - please be wary of self defense classes. Most of them teach absolute horse shit that will get you in more trouble. I've spent many years studying different defense techniques with some damned fine teachers. Basic rule of thumb - if it isn't very simple and very violent it's not going to be a great real world defense technique. I may come across as the usual internet know it all, but genuinely get annoyed at some of the dangerous crap I've seen labeled as self defense. Hit fast, hit hard and run away or preferably just option three. Any technique that doesn't involve these isn't worth it.

Anything involving social media in schools is a nightmare.

Fire rarely cancels fire and i doubt this approach often ends with such a resounding victory

n fairness to schools they can't resort to threats (which is what you claimed worked in this case). They can only escalate consequences through their behaviour policy; detentions, behaviour contracts, isolations and fixed term exclusions etc. These don't always work, or can be slow to have desired effect.

On a serious note - please be wary of self defense classes. Most of them teach absolute horse shit that will get you in more trouble

funkmasterp

On a serious note - please be wary of self defense classes. Most of them teach absolute horse shit that will get you in more trouble. I've spent many years studying different defense techniques

I would say +1 to that. There's a lot of shit and nonsense out there. This sounds promising.

Basic rule of thumb - if it isn't very simple and very violent it's not going to be a great real world defense technique.

Oh dear, I must disagree. I too have studied eye gouging, throat punching and testicle kicking and unless you're a sociopath or your getting attacked by ISIS you just won't be able to use it.

Hit fast, hit hard and run away or preferably just option three. Any technique that doesn't involve these isn't worth it.

This is incorrect and will land the OP down the police station after his daughter has just hospitalised/mutilated/killed her assailant.

Anyway, I have a lot of sympathy for the OP and having a young daughter myself I do fear for the future. It seems a much crueler world out there now than the one we grew up in. Joining a martial arts class will be next to useless in the short term dealing with this bully but in 6 months or so she'll probably have additional self confidence to the point where she won't get picked on.

funkmasterp - Member
Hit fast, hit hard and run away or preferably just option three. Any technique that doesn't involve these isn't worth it

If it doesn't involve a kick in the balls or a bloody nose it's probably not worth it, and will get you hurt!

This is incorrect and will land the OP down the police station after his daughter has just hospitalised/mutilated/killed her assailant.

Somehow I'm reminded of this video....

seosamh77

If it doesn't involve a kick in the balls or a bloody nose it's probably not worth it, and will get you hurt!

you're entitled to self defence.

I'm not denying anyone's right to self defence but it has to be justified and proportionate. All this kick in the balls, punch in the throat stuff is for sociopaths. If you have a modicum of pity it's hard enough to do it to a stranger much less a classmate.

An untrained bully might give you/your loved one a bloody nose or a black eye. A trained striker hitting you in the face could concuss, shatter orbital bones, knock out teeth, break jaw bones or just knock someone over so they hit their head and die. And you'll look like the aggressor.

Grappling arts are built on live sparring, techniques that work on 100% resistant opponents. Controlling people, dominating them, and dealing with them using proportional force as the situation requires. This is 2016, this is not a ******* mystery anymore.

Why are you letting the school deal with it, you wouldn't get a carpenter to fix your car. It sounds like an assault, report it to the police and let them decide what to do.

sweepy - Member
Why are you letting the school deal with it, you wouldn't get a carpenter to fix your car. It sounds like an assault, report it to the police and let them decide what to do.

Her Father got fed up with this went into the school and threatened the teacher with real physical violence if it carried on, then went round to the girls house and threatened to beat the sh*t out of him every time his bullying daughter so much as looked at his daughter. Do you know what happened?

Other kid's father was even tougher and beat him so bad he's now in hospital trying to figure out how to talk again?

Violence works great until you find someone tougher than you. Or you aren't actually in the right after all.

You are right of course Mike, but the same could be said of many towns on a Friday night, when does it become serious enough to warrant dealing with.

jimjam - Member
seosamh77
If it doesn't involve a kick in the balls or a bloody nose it's probably not worth it, and will get you hurt!

you're entitled to self defence.
I'm not denying anyone's right to self defence but it has to be justified and proportionate. All this kick in the balls, punch in the throat stuff is for sociopaths. If you have a modicum of pity it's hard enough to do it to a stranger much less a classmate.

An untrained bully might give you/your loved one a bloody nose or a black eye. A trained striker hitting you in the face could concuss, shatter orbital bones, knock out teeth, break jaw bones or just knock someone over so they hit their head and die. And you'll look like the aggressor.

Grappling arts are built on live sparring, techniques that work on 100% resistant opponents. Controlling people, dominating them, and dealing with them using proportional force as the situation requires. This is 2016, this is not a ******* mystery anymore.

You over analyse it.

No one is saying go and master a grappling art ffs, but if you get attacked and you are going to fight back, you hit with enough force to make the attacker think again, otherwise you put yourself in more danger.

Anyhow not fighting is best, by either talking yourself out of it, running faster away, or not getting involved in the first place.

My main point is that martial arts are nonsense outwith their own setting*, in response to suggestions that self defence classes would be useful. all being equal fights generally get won by who is willing to be the most vicious.

We're way OT here anyhow. this is a thread about a couple of teenage girls! 😆 It's hardly a cage match!

*edit: btw you just need to have a look at ufc aswell, even in their own setting, when it gets real, it all gets narrowed down to a very small subset.

Like I said molgrips, I'm not promoting it I was just recounting what happened. Different people react in different ways, no one wants to see their child being bullied out hurt, some are prepared to go to more extreme lengths to prevent it.

And what's with this 'martial arts are nonsense' talk? Learning to block, counter strike, kick, punch, dodge, defend yourself? Not only that the extra strength, fitness and self confidence you gain from it. It isn't nonsense at all.