[Closed] Dating tips for a middle aged man - please!

was I wrong?

No.

Kettle is boiling!

Good luck supertramp 😀 wouldn't want to do it

Was there a relationship with the horse? I would count that as baggage.

Was there a relationship with the horse? I would count that as baggage

yes, but it was purely platonicic, and the horse consented 😆

Seriously, I am a pretty calm, gentle patient person by nature and I think this may come across as being weak or insecure? do women prefer butch aggressive types?

Does the horse come with Tack and rugs?

Does the horse come with Tack and rugs?

if that's a serious question, he has tack but no rugs as he is happy outdoors in any weather.

if not, then I'm not quick enough to think of a reply 😳

Sorry, got enough horses at the minute. Every time my other half sells a horse, even really cheap, people always ask if it comes with Tack and rugs..Good luck selling it, as they are difficult to sell at the moment!..

It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman.

If anything you do on the first few dates, by just acting the way you feel comfortable with, pisses her off, then she ain't right for you. With the right one it will click with no effort.

Merely getting laid, now that's a different kettle of fish.....

Distracted though I am by the visual treat that is 'Dante's Peak', I am still able to recall the period in my life when I went through the special Hell that is 'one-night-stands with a view to attaining a lasting relationship'.

Oh! They just drove straight through an old mine entrance to escape the pyroclastic flow! Nice move Brosnan!

At the ripe age of 45, I'd guess that similarly aged ladies are either looking for companionship interspersed with a spot of rumpy (Oh God! The roof is collapsing and they're all going to drown in lava!!) pumpy, or they're hoping to attract a macho toy boy.

How about those active weekends whereupon lots of semi-fit singletons get together under the guise of having supressed a long held desire to go kayaking at midnight, or climbing through treetops, when all they actually want is to meet other semi-fit humans of the opposite sex? Can't remember the name of the company, but try googling "semi-fit".

EDIT: actually, don't google "semi-fit". That road leads to disappointment and disillusionment.

'rohypnol'.........

I know a very clever man who figured out that high class prostitutes ,rental cars and renting your own high bro accomodation was actually cheaper than the cost of a long term relationship, marriage, kids and buying a home.I trusted his opinion purely because he looked grey and wise and had a secret room where he did clever things.

I would think middle aged is a ver good 50% saving if you start now

however im sure high brow means something else down south as up here in yorkshire that may just mean a pigeon shed

That's probably quite true, in an absolutely fiscal sense, but will it make you [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/happiness-is-it-real ]HAPPY[/url]?

I doubt it. I have a secret room where I convert old bikes to modern useage - that makes me quite happy....

I chose not to blurt out all my past relationship and sexual history in the first five minutes of the first date - was I wrong?

It depends if your past relationship status is that your wife is living in a sealed room in the basement...

xckeith1 - Member
'rohypnol'.........

I think you mean 'rohypochino'. Either that or show her the knife and tell her to touch it. 😡 .

The "does this smell of chloroform?" chat up technique is also valid.

Best of luck mate - be yourself and no, women over 35 don't care if you look like a model or behave like a mummys' boy - they're just keen to meet a genuine bloke IMHO.

Good luck and check your flies are done up 🙂

Be yourself but do try to look presentable. 🙂

Didn't Keith Bontrager say something like "Married, Over 30, Mental. Pick two"?

STR has it imo.

If you're solvent, reasonable looking and can hold a conversation, expect a lot of keen but desperate women.

Try French Ebay for the horse.

[i]It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman[/i]

This

Although...dress nicely, smell nice, smile, show an interest, have manners all count. 😉

"Seriously, I am a pretty calm, gentle patient person by nature and I think this may come across as being weak or insecure? do women prefer butch aggressive types?"

In my experience different women like different types of men. Horses for courses & all that - tack not included in sale

Good luck and try to see dating as fun, meet new people, all the best with your fresh start.

It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman.

If anything you do on the first few dates, by just acting the way you feel comfortable with, pisses her off, then she ain't right for you. With the right one it will click with no effort.

this.

worked for me anyway. plus what user-removed said about the genuine bloke thing.
i think your recent experience can be chalked down to you meeting a mental; don't let it put you off going on more dates though, and don't let it change the person you are just for the sake of impressing a woman- you'll end up with the wrong one and she'll see through you eventually.
good luck and just relax and enjoy the future!

women over 35 don't care if you look like a model or behave like a mummys' boy - they're just keen to meet a genuine bloke

It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman.

If anything you do on the first few dates, by just acting the way you feel comfortable with, pisses her off, then she ain't right for you. With the right one it will click with no effort.

Merely getting laid, now that's a different kettle of fish...

never a truer word said on STW and matches my experience exactly (became single at 38)

I'd not be bothering again.....bacon butties,paracetemol and a tommy tank is all a bloke needs in life.

Women - all mental, just to a greater or lesser degree. You just have to find the flavour of mental you can enjoy / live with.

Internet dating - if her picture shows her with her pet, probably not a good sign. With her pet on a bed, def not a good sign. With her pet and her massive collection of cuddly toys on a bed, run away.

All women are mad.
The best you can hope for is to find one who's madness is compatible with your own.

dating tips for middle aged men..?

Shirt unbuttoned to the navel.. chest hair complimented by large gold medallion.. some sort of facial hair with loads of cologne..

Theme from Saturday Night Fever playing in your mind (or preferably playing on your ipod with a good quality loudspeaker.. discreetly hidden of course so as not to ruin the line of your skin-tight jeans)

Big cigar.. Cuban heels.. lot's of meat at the dinner table.. you won't need many words..

Surely the horse is a useful accessory. Most of the riders around here are female, and a good deal fitter and richer than average.

Failing that Internet dating on the wrong kind of site. A friend joined one following his divorce and showed me the texts he was getting as we changed after swimming. Explicit offers at a similar rate to the posting on this thread.

This is an opportunity to have fun and meet some new and hopefully interesting people. Don't set your expectations too high or go looking for a wife. Chances are you'll have to go out with a lot of women before you find someone you'll want to progress with. Sounds good to me 😀
Don't take it too seriously and enjoy yourself.

bacon butties,paracetemol and a tommy tank is all a bloke needs in life.

what's the difference between an egg and a Jodrell...?

you can beat an egg..

I'm in similar position being early 40s and having to get back onto the [i]dating[/i] treadmill / hamster wheel.

Some good insights on this thread, esp from TAFKASTR and User_Removed.

[i]Although...dress nicely, smell nice, smile, show an interest, have manners all count[/i]
I'd have said thats pretty much stating the obvious.
😉

Totally agree with the activity event, pseudo chance to meet people.
Seems so contrived and false.

But my two penneth worth is how different some peoples ideas are about how its [i]going to happen[/i]
Ranging from those who realize that they are going to have to put some time and effort in as far as actually making time to meet new people.
To those who think they don't have to do anything and that are going to happen to walk round a corner on the street, bump into a stranger and instantly fall in love.
All spontaneous like.
Funny O'le world this.
😉

In my late teens and early 20s, IIRC, it didn't seem too difficult to meet and speak to similarly aged women and see where things went.
But now, it seems much more of a hill to climb.

Good luck to you, ST.

Plentyoffish seems to work quite well for the single chaps I know of our age. You can also use the filters to either pick a person who is looking for some no strings attached sex or those looking for something longer term. I understand that they also get regular invites to singles nights which apparently are not as horrible as they sound.

I'm sure that for every one nutter there are loads of nice people who are just taking it easy like yourself.

[i]women over 35 don't care if you look like a model or behave like a mummys' boy - they're just keen to meet a genuine bloke [/i]

Where be these women ?. All the 35 plussers I've [i]encounter[/i] are well snooty and don't seem to want to consider anyone less than Tom cruize.

[i]dating tips for middle aged men..?

Shirt unbuttoned to the navel.. chest hair complimented by large gold medallion.. some sort of facial hair with loads of cologne..

Theme from Saturday Night Fever playing in your mind (or preferably playing on your ipod with a good quality loudspeaker.. discreetly hidden of course so as not to ruin the line of your skin-tight jeans)

Big cigar.. Cuban heels.. lot's of meat at the dinner table.. you won't need many words..
[/i]
LMAO
😆

[i]You can also use the filters to either pick a person who is looking for some no strings attached sex[/i]

😯

ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[img] [/img]

You'd be surprised Solo.

What is a 'genunie bloke'?

A man who lies well.

At 45 all the tidy women are already shacked up, and you're too old to be going out with a 20 year old. Try the brown side?

There are some seriously attractive (in every sense) ladies out there wanting to meet a decent middle-aged chap, you've just got to 'get out there' more to have a chance of meeting them based on probability alone.

Far be it from me to comment on another’s “dating skills” but if I have one teeny piece of advice it’s this.

You deserve a partner of equal being to yourself

Being 40+ and finding love is so possible it’s kinda like picking sweets. You just have to choose the wrapper, the texture, the taste and whether you like unwrapping it. There are so many people in this world looking for a partner of equal being that it’s hard not to want to the whole packet.
I would add one other thing, if I may, take your time.
Build confidence and raport with prospective partners, try not to be so critical of them and please don’t be needy. Seriously, there are so many wonderful people out there that you’ll find someone who makes you feel wonderful soon enough.

Not all women expect Tom Cruise/George Clooney you know, material wealth is irrelevant, physical attraction is a base need but people see past a tight bum, and for gawds sake ignore that “must have a GSOH” that’s tosh.

Be honest, be yourself and overall be humble.

I`m 41 and separated from my wife after 1 years last year.

My relationship with my ex was over really in the 2 years before then so I felt quite ready to get back out there and start dating again.

I was expecting it to be really hard to meet women at my age,but I ended up having a succession of dates which came about through different means.

In one case it was an old school friend,another was a friend of friend,one was a random meet in a pub,and a couple via a dating site and so on.

My experience was if you go with a very set idea of your ideal partner you might be on a hiding to nothing.At this age most women are going to be divorced,have kids or some kind of "history".

Finding someone compatible takes a bit of time,and the girl who I am currently in a relationship with came about through first having a friendship for a couple of months and getting to know each other,before it progressed to a fully fledged relationship.

My other expereince was that when you are dating at his age,and with previous relationships behind them women are very honest and upfront about what they want so don`t try to hide stuff.Above all just be yourself.

[i]You'd be surprised Solo.[/i]

Emsz.
Sadly, although I have no direct experience (obviously) I fear you are almost certanily correct.

😉

Edit:

[i]a decent middle-aged chap[/i]

Less of the middle aged, if you don't mind 😛

Why only this morning some nice lady told me I don't look anywhere near my age.

I found i didn't have to 'date' or even look when i found myself single again aged 41.
Facebook has a lot to answer for, being cyber-stalked by a former girlfriend from over 20yrs ago saw to that! 😆
3yrs into that renewed relationship and happier now than i can remember being with the ex - perhaps MsD being into cycling, a lot slimmer than my ex and 36DD has something to do with that.... 😉

Muddydwarf.

You're just showing off now.
😉

Good story though, good for you.

I've never done the facebook thing.

I do not want to have too big a cyber profile in the online world.

Bikebouy +1

Especially the points about not being critical, making negative assumptions, or judging people before getting to know them. Remember that trust doesn't always come easily, and relationships (whether friends or partners) take time and sensitivity to develop. There are many, many lovely people in the world, probably most of them won't be the 'one' for you, but treat everyone with respect and consideration and see what happens.

Good luck mate. There are undoubtedly loads of very attractive (in all senses) women out there.

However, I've pretty much decided that I attract well presented and intelligent loonies and am therefore better off playing with my bikes, dogs etc. Saved a huge amount of time, money and hassle over the past couple of years and if I ever think about 'getting back in the saddle' my ex usually curbs that with a well timed moment of insanity.

Oddly enough, for some reason in the past week, Match.com have started sending me emails saying that x,y,z is interested and sent pix of some very attractive ladies. Bit weird as I registered ages ago but never completed anything or paid them any money. Desperate marketing or what? Vaguelly tempting though 😉

I've got a few single pals 40+, some been married, others not. I cant believe how much action they get via (write this down)

https://soulmates.guardian.co.uk/?CMP=KNCSOULTXT3769

Everyone very relaxed about online dating these days it seems.

[i]Vaguelly tempting though[/i]

Seriously, I won't be renewing my Match sub.

Total shower that bunch.

HTH
😉

Thanks Solo, it confirms my suspicions. I think I'll stick to stalking the dessert section of Marks and Spencers which seems to be a magnet for single women of a certain age substituting food for something else 😉

Woody.

A guy in my office reckoned plentymorefish or something along those lines. Was a better bet.

I recall buzzing it a month or two ago, it looked as if it had more...
[i]potential[/i]

I'm not knocking dating sites in general, just the one, and so far the only one I've tried.

I eventually split up with my ex at 40. A very painful experience but I found that my family and friends, some I hadn't seen for years, came out of the woodwork with help and distraction. I met my present wife 6 months after on a surfing weekend away. She's the sister of a friend of a friend four years younger than me.

I wasn't looking for someone but we just clicked when we met. But mostly we both knew what we DIDN'T want - the negative characteristics of our ex's. We're together now 7 years and clichéd as it is - I do feel my life began at 40.

So my advice is just be honest - people may want you to talk about your last relationship if only to compare it to their own. That said it's a bit unreasonable to expect full disclosure on a first date!

Benfeh.

Good for you, an unexpected encouter leading to where you are today.
Its a good story.

[i]That said it's a bit unreasonable to expect full disclosure on a first date! [/i]
Too true I agree that the OP shouldn't be forced into revealing in detail, past times.
Also, lets not forget the big nights out.....
After all, how can you divulge what you don't recall
😳

A guy in my office reckoned plentymorefish or something along those lines. Was a better bet

you know what they say about POF, ... the odds are good .... but the goods are odd 😆

susan sarandon

Just get out there and enjoy yourself. IF you meet someone, great!

Believe me - you've got it easy!!! 🙄

Rachel

MILF 😀

That's my view on it too Rachel.

Wouldn't say it's easy but I take your point 😉

wow, what a response!

A lot of it makes a lot of sense a lot is very funny! 😆

I'm not really looking for one night stands or a stream of strangers 'I'll be the one with the red rose' so maybe no dating sites. The few women I have met who have done the 'dating thing' for a while seem either very desperate or very jaded and have very long shopping lists (or lots of soft toys and a dog)

I'm pretty easy going and can accept people have baggage and a past, to be honest I would be (through experience) suspicious of a woman of my age or older who hadn't! I don't want to be a sugar daddy. I'm not looking lots of meaningless sex - I had a lot of that in my younger years.

So just a nice woman who can hold a good conversation within 10 (ish) years either side of 45.

your right there must be at least one our there - now where is she? 🙄

Thailand twice a year an my bikes that makes me a happy guy. Women are evil over hear

They can spell, though.

i joined match.com and spent 50 weeks seemingly wasting my time on idiots, liars and fantasists, then 2 weeks prior to my subscription coming to an end my now-girlfriend (of the last 18 months or so) popped up on there.
i'd never bothered with plentyoffish and she told me that her friends who had been on there warned her not to as it's full of players and selfish, arrogant losers! so, i guess it depends on exactly what you're looking for as to whether each of the various dating sites work for you.
my gf had to join match.com in order to reply to my messages though, and then spent 6 months having to delete email messages from illiterate weirdos because one of her photos on there was of her in full leathers sat on her NC30 outside the bike shop she used to work in!
still, she tells me that joining up was the best 70 odd quid she's ever spent so it's all good...

she tells me that joining up was the best 70 odd quid she's ever spent so it's all good...

She's obviously never bought a dualit toaster.

She's obviously never bought a dualit toaster.

nope, but i've seen her lusting over them in selfridge's in the trafford centre though...

should i get one of these fancy toasters? will it help? 😕

will be handy for making breakfast in bed. 😉

However, I've pretty much decided that I attract well presented and intelligent loonies and am therefore better off playing with my bikes, dogs etc. Saved a huge amount of time, money and hassle over the past couple of years and if I ever think about 'getting back in the saddle' my ex usually curbs that with a well timed moment of insanity.

Flippin' Brilliant! 😆

Pretty much exactly how I feel about women so far myself. I know that is a little jaded, but every time I finally get my confidence back, I meet a beautiful, intelligent fun loving girl who rocks my world... Before then slowly turning it upside down, destroying my confidence and turning me into a bit of a nervous wreck! My bikes don't answer me back...

So, in summary, women just really want a chap who takes his toaster to bed ?? Well I am glad we cleared all that up !!

However, I've pretty much decided that I attract well presented and intelligent loonies and am therefore better off playing with my bikes, dogs etc. Saved a huge amount of time, money and hassle over the past couple of years and if I ever think about 'getting back in the saddle' my ex usually curbs that with a well timed moment of insanity.

Pretty much exactly how I feel about women so far myself. I know that is a little jaded, but every time I finally get my confidence back, I meet a beautiful, intelligent fun loving girl who rocks my world... Before then slowly turning it upside down, destroying my confidence and turning me into a bit of a nervous wreck! My bikes don't answer me back...

Are you guys sure you haven't stolen my identity? 😀

will be handy for making breakfast in bed.

Bcarefulll young lady, I might take that as an offer 😉

just popping out to find a late night toaster shop!

Are you guys sure you haven't stolen my identity?

You don't ride a Maverick as well do you?

Nah, I'm even more niche than that 😉

Phew - glad I didn't have to be the next one to post!! 😳

Rachel

closed 😥 will a shop soiled George Forman grill do?

lol!

LMAO at the toaster comment - thanks for brightening an otherwise dull evening....

Niche !! How about a drop bar, s/s 29'er and an offroad retro fixie. I've even dabbled in the delights of a 1/2 fat - yes I am as sad as that 😳

I'm confused - an offroad retro fixie toaster????

Is that what they use down south nowadays??

Rachel