[Closed] This is the best story ever.

Worst

TO save you a click it is this
And probably save a few more seconds and dont read it
[img] [/img]

 

Is the internet being dumbed down?

You know, people always bang on about the greatest story ever told being that one about that kid born in a barn, became a joiner, good at working up a buffet with limited bread/fish resources etc. They obviously hadn't visited cheezburger.com. That sublime ending leaves us wondering profoundly about our very existence.

Junkyard is correct, OP you owe me the 50 seconds of my life back that I just wasted on this.I have more interesting crap to be wasting my time on.

zimbo - Member
You know, people always bang on about the greatest story ever told being that one about that kid born in a barn, became a joiner, good at working up a buffet with limited bread/fish resources etc.

Is there a book, or will I have to wait for the DVD?

Matt

Wots it mean ????

I dunno, best story I ever read was "Baby's shoes for sale. Never used." Hemmingway wrote it to prove he could write a short story in six words.

When he awoke the dinosaur was still there.

We're gonna need a bigger boat

Is there an english language version ?

WTF,utter pish!

(giggles at middle-age men struggling with internet humour)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.....

Best story I've heard this year goes something like this:

A woman agrees to look after their brothers alsatian when they are on holiday - take it for a walk a day, bit of food etc. On the second day of the two weeks she finds the dog dead as stone on the kitchen floor.

She's a bit stuck what to do, I mean what do you do in this situation?! She doesn't feel responsible at all and knows that she's not going to get the blame, just one of those things. Anyway she decides the best course of action is not to tell her brother as it will ruin their holiday, she'll tell them when they get home.

She is still left with a large dead dog to deal with. Two weeks is far too long to keep it for some kind of family funeral in the back garden, does she put it in the chest freezer until they get back? she's certainly not going to start digging up the back lawn herself, the wheelie bin can't be right can it? Anyway she calls the vet and they tell her it's fine for her to bring the dog in and they can deal with it, so all well and good.

So she gets a bin bag and puts the dog in it and ties it up well. She then finds a suitable sized case, one that the brother uses for traveling with business, the kind of effort with wheels and handle. Dog in bag in case, all good so far. Anyway she doesn't drive and feels uncomfortable getting a taxi as they always try and put the case in the boot themselves. The easiest way is to just jump on the metro (tram in Manchester) two stops down and a short walk.

Wheeling a dead dog down the road feeling a bit uncomfortable with it all. Gets on board a very busy tram, standing room only. As she gets off the tram suddenly two scallies get off at the same time, grab the case a do a runner down the road, clearly thinking that they are making off with a laptop, etc. Lots of people offer to help and chase said scallies but she stops them on the basis of:

1. Her problem has been solved for the moment
2. The contents of the case may need explaining
3. Scallies thinking they've got a nice little steal and then finding a large dead dog instead.

Anyway, tram back home, and 12 days to think how to explain the missing dog and case to brother.

i love you sweaty

This is from 4Chan where the people on it are a bit weird. It is probably the darkest part of the internet you can go on. It is very NSFW so go on it at your own risk if you want a look.

4chan is where the internet goes to die...

John the BT engineer called out to install a phone line.
He's met at the door by a sweet little old lady pensioner and her yapping Jack Russell, Chip.
'Don't worry son, he's harmless' John's told.
John proceeds to fit socket in hall while little old lady disappears into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, Chip is baring the teeth now.
John is tacking in the cable when Chip has a snap at him. Enough's enough thinks John and gives the dog a tap on the head with a small craft hammer, just to get it to back off.
Chip keels over and dies on him!
Not knowing how to explain to her what's happened dear old Chip, he panics and stuffs the dog into his tool box!
Dumps it along the road side.
Poor old lady probably wondering to this day what happened to Chip.

GrahamS - Member
(giggles at middle-age men struggling with internet humour)

It is probably the darkest part of the internet you can go on.

I very much doubt that.

The amazing story in the OP...it was written by chewkw, yeah?

I very much doubt that.

You've seen 'it' as well then?

*performs secret handshake*

There is a website (I guess its still there) that we had a pact at college to never mention again as once you'd seen it, it changed your opinion of humanity as a whole.
When I remember it, its the only time I wish I had an erase button for something in my memory.

When I remember it, its the only time I wish I had an erase button for something in my memory.

Going to take a punt on it being 'that page' from nightmare creator, ro***n.com

dabble - Member
i love you sweaty

amazing

yep, PMSL at that!

Well, this entire thread has gone right over my head

To add some clarification that story is along the same lines as this joke:

"How do you confuse an internet forum thread full of idiots?"

"Oranges".

HTH