Opens the door, looks in, shakes head sadly, quietly closes the door and tiptoes away.
Answer the phone Neil!
Three biscuits that named after fascist dictators:
Well, you've got your Bourbon, your Garibaldi and your Huntley and Palmers Trotsky assortment...
Huntley and Palmers Trotsky assortment
Nah, Peak Freans 😉
Never mind a priest. Call an ambulance.
I've just nailed my legs to the table.
Look out - Cliff!
You'd need to be absolutely clear on the difference between flageolet and flagellant, ale and ail, night and knight, pistule and pisstool, Castille and cast steel. Don't listen to Isabella about growing basil, you'd get a headache.
Oh, Felicity, Felicity
You fill me with electricity
But that does not mean you are shocking
Oh, no, you are nice
Like Sugar and Spice
Like a proper girly ought to be
(Even though I am sure you have radical views
On the subject of equal opportunities)
Your Second name is Kendall
Which if you jumble up all the letters
And take some away
And Add some others
Makes "I love you"
I adored you as the star of TV's "The Good Life"
And I'm not being sexist but I think you'd make a 'good wife'
How about it, Filly?
Oh la dee da look what I've found in my laundry bag... All of Felecity Kendall's underwear and it needs a really good wash...
Doggersea Bats' Home
Let me just place this éclair precariously on the edge….
Is it an éclair or a meringue?
You are all in this together - stay elite.
Oh Neil, Neil,
Orange Peel,
If only I could see you again.
Hello Rick.
Aaaaaa!
As on a summer hill
We're not into rape and pillage
We're into wholefood and Steve Hillage. 🙂
Mike do you think Ants go to discos?
Why's that one wearing a silver boobtube then?
That looks just like a Negative Reality Inversion to me.
"Rick, he threw us off the train because you said ASLEF was an anagram for "total and complete bastard.""
I've got a degree in Computer Science, that's what.
vanilla ice pick and mix
I'll die if I miss Scooby Doo.
If British Rail think I'm going to give them fifty pounds they can jolly well go out and become a prostitute. Which is what they virtually are anyway. Right commuters?
OLD WOMAN: Do you dig graves?
NEIL: Yeah they're alright.
OLD WOMAN: I'm so glad. I think they're wonderful!
Round about now, I like to have a Pot Noodle
Relax... Make stupid noises!
I'm sorry about that bang...I just fired a gun.
That's for the invasion of Abyssinia.
Messing with the big boys
See you Teddy Bear..
I think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster.
I think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster.
At the time, a friend's girlfriend made him one (it was really very good too). However it started to become a bit unstitched and he found that she'd stuffed it with pairs of her dirty knickers. In fairness she was ever-so slightly deranged.
I've just been round to my neighbours house to borrow a drill. But he wasn't in. So I broke in and ate his fish tank... you won't catch me with me trousers.
Blind dogs for the Guides
Things were certainly different before these new fangled changes
...all of Felicity Kendal's underwear that needs a good wash.
What are you doing, Neil? To make a meal, Neil? (it's surreal) From totalitarian vegetables. How much does it cost, Neil...?
Open up it's the pigs!
I hope Mike hurries back with the cure.
No Neil, it's Madness this week.
Phew, that was close!
At the time, a friend’s girlfriend made him one (it was really very good too). However it started to become a bit unstitched and he found that she’d stuffed it with pairs of her dirty knickers.
Gift that keeps on giving.
