[Closed] Cougar's English Fictionary

Filigree.- a PhD.

Consomethinge.- cannibalism.

Penumbra.- A piano ensemble.

Diurnal.- A Welsh mans toilet.

Faculty - Cockney for "We've run out of PG tips"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ED48oc5W4AMImfK?format=jpg

Ostracise - gauging the height of an Ostrich

Donkey, Capon, Hatton - Old English - Nightly routine of a watchman before leaving the guard house on patrol

At the risk of spoiling a good joke.

Cark - disputed third launch site.

Whilst scholars agree Noah was a great planner they can't agree if that extended to the need for a separate British vessel.

I'll leave the next link in the ark chain for someone else.

Sark : Ludicrously expensive 18th spare ark, that resulted in fraud charges being brought against Mr Noah and his wife’s brother Tim, who owned a timber yard.

Quality - marsupial brew
Sword - made it hurt
Exercise - get rid of former partner
Colonise - seeing out of your arse
Wilful - lengthy bequeathment

Dark - the never discussed undersea ark that was rumoured built, but there is no record of it.

blether - the hide of an insect

blether - a priest with a lisp

Mexican - largest of the metric can sizes, equivalent to 99% of the volume of the imperial Maxican

Ashleigh - the area upwind of an ash tree

Leeward - person charged with halting the decline of Lees on the British Isles

Leeway - a dedicated route for Lee(s). One of a number of management interventions being used to protect the Lee populations from further decline.

Not to be confused with:

The Leeway - practicing of a semi nomadic Scottish based adventurous bicycling lifestyle.

Claustrophobia: The fear of seeing Father Christmas eating from an open rectangular container.

Ashleigh – the area upwind downwind of an ash tree

I liked the logic, but not the detail!

Triphammer - the fall out of Thomas Cook

Contented - Edward the Happy Camper

I liked the logic, but not the detail!

The shame, neither do I.

Battalion - commit an act of antagonisation

Reposefulness - Well fitting undergarment (bra)

Nigel - unexpectedly watery sports nutrition product

Lark - the ark that never was. Started as a bit of a laugh and then forgotten about.

Gynaecologist - A man who is not against a college education.

Octagon - A missing Cephalopod

Battalion – commit an act of antagonisation

Also an ill advised game known by Savannah locals as catty slapping

Battalion - punch a massive angry cat

Park - a support barge carrying fertiliser for the return to land

Inspired bu Mr Sparkle.

Exorcise - Getting rid of fat

Liking this thread; lots of grins

Zark: the last word on the subject of animal boats.

Parrot - an acceptable level of deterioration

Nark - Noah was annoyed that he had one less boat that the optimum number

Platter: purveyor of a specific hairstyle

Coffee - Person over whom the cougher has coughed.

Hark - to return to a favourite style of boat building

Fark- Noah realises the plan's in Cubits, and he's ordered the wood in feet.

Quark: A really really small boat.

Muon: The act of loading the Quark with bovines.

Vegan - the nagging feeling that something is missing from your meal when you're staring at the plate of veg

One for the electrical engineers here,
Megavars - a receptacle for massive flowers.

Which leads to,
Receptacle - proof of payment to an optician.

(edit - quark and muon, very clever)

Draft : Escape vehicle from the Dark. Used by Noah to get away from sea sick tigers and God's auditing team, who had just been presented with invoices for a staggering amount of wood.

Bereft - When the brewing process goes disastrously wrong.

Bereft – When the brewing process goes disastrously wrong

See also “cocktail”

See also “cocktail”

See also : Lagerfeld

Bumptious : Nagging feeling that your guts will let go like a bag of slippers down a lift shaft after knowing full well that the homebrew comsumed the previous evening was Lagerfeld, Cocktail or Bereft, but still drinking 8 pints of it anyway.

Lark
one of them poorly made foreign boats which we wont have to put up with for much longer.... or will we
bloody foreign boats coming over here taking our animals

Draft : Escape vehicle from the Dark

Should have tried Craft before Draft

Pimento : Small but incredibly irritating spot on the side of your nose, just where you glasses rest.

Cranberries : The items that your three year old niece posts through the hole in the front of your bass speaker.

Codswallop : Giving someone a comedy smack about the head with an unusual object that results in an unintentional broken nose.