[Closed] Come and work for us - PHP fu!

I don't have any of the desirable or essential skills you require however I still wish to be considered for this role.

I'll send you my resume once my mum has finished typing it for me (sorry, i'm rubbish with computers)

When can you start?

🙂

I'll consult my filofax and let you know.

What's the private schooling like in Todmorden? 🙂

One of these days they'll need a geotechnical engineer, one of these days...

I'll give it a bash.....

what was the job again?... something to do with bikes and coffee?

That's a rather rude and unfortunate acronym on the end. 😯

Able to make tea/coffee,

Has an understanding of how to fix a puncture,

Able to answer the phone and repeat simple messages without swearing,

Good at Spelin,

Knows the difference betweeen a mountain and road bike,

Vote labour and is a comited socialist supporter,

Has numerous social problems,

We need someone to join our small team of tech experts to help continue our award winning digital publishing development in web and app technologies. You will need to be able to tick off all of the Essential and some of the Desirable skills in the lists above. An interest in riding bikes is not essential but it would make your life more fun if you did.

Yep i fill most of those points, whats the relocation package, traveling expenses, company vehicle,laptop,mobile phone,etc etc.

Flat available @ STW towers, sudden 'vacancy' advertised...

Who's been murdded?

There's a flat above us for £595/month. Includes free wifi since you will have access to the office network 🙂

I can do all of that stuff - but can I stay in Glasgow building bikes at the same time?

You can commute from wherever you want Ben 🙂

There's a flat above us for £595/month.

That's 40% of your take home on rent!

Before council tax!

If the extras are another two lots of £23k, I'm in.

Does it include an Audi company car?

I'm a bit worried by the [i]"and extras"[/i].

Who is offering these extras?

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we love you long time

That's 40% of your take home on rent!

Experience with BB press.... push fit bottom brackets?

That's 40% of your take home on rent!

Before council tax!

Welcome to the UK!

Of course, you're always free to go and live off the land.

Oh, hang on...

Chipps is a sheep farmer now as it happens. No really!

Ability to multitask with flexible priorities

Aka popping into the office on a Sunday to feed the hamsters.

[quote=patricksingletrack ]Cheaper properties are available in Todmorden. You don't have to rent the one above our offices

Ah, but if you live in the flat above the offices, does it count as being in the office if you work from bed in your jim jams?

Chipps is a sheep farmer now as it happens. No really!

What, like Piers?

If the extras are another two lots of £23k, I'm in.

That would make you pretty much the best paid Singletrack staffer 🙂

We have other ways of making life nice for our staffers tho 🙂

Well to get a decent -ish I do think you need to be offering nearer £30k.

Up in't North?

Not sure about that.

I try telling that to my employees. They still want the ££££££s though 😕

Up in't North?

Not sure about that.

http://www.orchard.co.uk/Jobs/North-West/PHP-Developer-4762.aspx
http://www.orchard.co.uk/Jobs/Yorkshire/Snr-PHP-Web-Developer-4812.aspx
http://www.orchard.co.uk/Jobs/Yorkshire/PHP-Developer-City-Centre-4852.aspx
http://www.orchard.co.uk/Jobs/North-West/PHP-Developer-4853.aspx

They pay what they can afford is my guess. No point in paying £30k if you can't afford to do it.

John, be realistic, the salary is just a bonus if you're a MTBer.

Plenty enough to live on, a [b]very[/b] nice flat if you want, in a great location and working for STW??

It's a bloody belting job for many folk.

EDIT: ..and the jobs you've posted are a bit pish too; either starting at £18k or asking for experience that Mark's vacancy isn't.

I try telling that to my employees. They still want the ££££££s though

News flash, Employess in "moaning about not getting paid enough" Shocker !

@bear - One job starts at £18k (and they won't get someone with the experience they are asking for at that salary - not a hope). Others are £30k, thereabout or much higher aren't they?

And really? Do you think that a low salary is fair exchange for working in an office coding a website that just happens to be about bikes?

Sorry, just being realistic - I reckon the majority would rather earn £30k in a great creative agency than £23k working in-house (irrespective of whether the job is in the bike industry). After all, most people want to earn £££ and get the best experience they can along the way.

I'm guessing you won't be applying then John.

Hah no. I couldn't do the job anyway. I just employ people that do that sort of stuff.

Me too 🙂

Badly, it seems. (-:

After all, most people want to earn £££ and get the best experience they can along the way.

No they don't. They want to enjoy as much of their waking hours as possible, for which a half decent salary is part of, and this provides a half decent salary. As I said, if you're an MTBer with the required skills, this is an [b]amazing[/b] job.

Agency work can go swivel for an extra few quid a day!

(Not being personally derogatory btw, you're just viewing this from totally the wrong angle)

No they don't. They want to enjoy as much of their waking hours as possible. As I said, if you're an MTBer with the required skills, this is an amazing job.

Ohh, and in my days as a print designer (working on mags for a time) I wanted to work for a Mountain Bike magazine - it was my 'dream' job. But when the opportunities came up, the salaries were lower than I was already on so I made the decision to stay working within creative agencies.

Only speaking from my experience, but it is my experience, and a very direct one.

Some people aren't driven by money alone.

John, you're missing the point, and it shows by the fact when you had the opportunity, you went for the £££.

What did that get you? A slighter nicer coffee machine, a nicer car on lease, a mildly bigger living room?

Meh, I'd take the job that indulged my childhood passion.

Edit: I'm not looking for an argument btw to derail this thread, I'm just defending the one you started!

We aren't. This is a fun way to spend your life 🙂

One staff member reached a target yesterday and earned an iPad. There's other ways of enjoying your job than what turns up in your pay packet.

I am not missing any point, I am saying that working in an office on a computer doing PHP is working in an office on a computer doing PHP. Many people (myself included) may decide that the job being related to a hobby wouldn't be enough to convince me to take a lower salary than I could get elsewhere - and one where the overall work experience would probably benefit more in the long run.

Now if the job was as a chief trail tester or something...

Leaving the bickering aside*, I have no idea whether the salary is or is not fair for the skills required.

But what I do know is that here's a small business in a sector we all love, which is GROWING. Brilliant stuff. High fives all round the Singletrack team.

[Returns to corporate greasy pole climbing, still at my desk at 7.45pm. For more money. Did I win?]

*Will some of you just give it a flipping rest?!

I am saying that working in an office on a computer doing PHP is working in an office on a computer doing PHP

That's agency work you're describing there 😉

Many people (myself included) may decide that the job being related to a hobby wouldn't be enough to convince me to take a lower salary than I could get elsewhere

You need to mix with different people!

Leaving the bickering aside

Oh crap, am I bickering? Sorry. Will leave alone now!