Worked in a small defence establishment. Chap mid 50s would come into work looking like a full on classic 1950s civil servant, three piece suit, moustache, horn rimmed glasses, briefcase, brolly the lot.
Into work change into a dress and work all day in a dress. Back into suit for meetings, lunch and home.
It was quite pythonesque.
Yeah, it was a pretty good moment on the day! so long ago now, maybe 30 years! I worked on the Apple Macs at that factory and my boss wanted rid of me, so sat me in a corner with no work for nearly three years - so I wrote the blog. It did really well and is pretty massive body of work but kept me almost sane at the time!
The guy just cracked. I thought he was pretty sound, but later I reckoned he kept pigeons as a way of keeping occupied, keeping calm. But that day, everything must have justgot too much and nothing could stop him from collapsing. Pretty sad, to be honest. I don't know what happened to him.
Previous place of work had a big and daft apprentice called John. He was a loud, gormless inyer face type - proper gob on a stick.
Anyway - he was off one day attending his aunt's funeral.
Next day, CID were in searching his work locker.
Turned out he wasn't paying his last respects at all. He was the getaway driver in a security van heist in a small Yorkshire village!
He left his mobile phone in the car.
He got five years.
Butcher I worked with a number of years back had a habit of talking to himself in the chill, only it wasn’t just talking, it sounded like he was having a conversation. Freaked suppliers out something crazy, they’d bring stuff in and he’s in the chill muttering away.
A prison officer I worked with called Tony. He'd mutter away to himself all the time, even when you were talking to him.
he was simply known as Tony & Dave.
Not a work mate, but a chap I went to college with was a bit daft.
Only knew him for a short while as he failed to turn up to classes after a few months.
Turns out he decided to borrow his dads shotgun and hold up the Fish & Chip van that came to his little village each week. Being short, living in a small village and with a big bush of curly hair, his stocking disguise failed to hide who he was. The Chippy van owner had been selling him chips for years.
Told him to **** off. Then reported it and he got arrested for armed robbery. We all read about it in the paper.
When I worked for Coca-Cola one of the vending guys went AWOL with all of the cash he had collected out of the vending machines that day. His van was found at Calais with all of the money boxes smashed open. He went on the run in Europe. When they reconciled the missing cash they worked out he had gone on the run with about £72.
Keeps. On. Giving.
Backwards Door Man - whoa.
Must tuck into the General Lucifer podcasts (welcome Mr General).
Do. A real mix of stuff, from filth to extremely dusty. Just read #147 which prompted a follow up post.
I think it's fair to say that it can be a bit hit and miss, with over 200 stories they can't all be brilliant. But when they are.. by God they are.
That's a pretty fair somethingion, aye.
Must tuck into the General Lucifer podcasts
I've read a few over the last couple of days, it's a long time since I've cried with laughter like that.
'Whirlpool' and 'Shorn Shank Redemption' are good places to start. Or any of the '****ing Amazing Dave' ones.
Can someone repost the link please?
I’m up to 181 now, you forget there are some truly horrifying folk out there.
Railway Temporary Worksite, someone once wrote "Liverpool are Sh*t" in human excrement on the wall!
Being a dark room it was hard to tell if he had cleaned up after himself.
That’s what UV lights are for...
I was an apprentice and there was a guy in the same lab block who wore a wig that looked like it was made from greenish-brown carpet. In fact he had three wigs - short, medium and long - and would wear each in turn for a couple of weeks. Then he'd spend the second 'long wig' Friday complaining about how his hair was out of control and how he needed a haircut before turning up in short wig on Monday morning.
This was despite his wig having fallen off in the lab more than once.
He was also into photography and had a folder of 'glamour' pics of his catalogue Thai wife and her daughter in his desk drawer that he'd show to anyone interested (or anyone he thought was interested).
Chap at work, big company so I didn't know him, mistakenly sent pictures of his naked golfing holiday to the girl who sat next to me. Her email address was v similar to intended recipient. She of course showed everyone.
