[Closed] Can you be happy without a life plan?

Sometimes.

Your brother has made a brown, cylindrical and sticky plan.

I'm the 'you' to my brothers 'your brother'.

I'm happy (apparently as happy as him) but certainly poorer than he is.

I don't even really know what a life plan is, but I think I'm happy.

Unless I don't know what that is either.

[i]He knows where he's going[/i]

Hmmm, or he's a bit too short on imagination to be able to consider the alternative, or a bit too scared to consider that things may not go according to 'plans'.

He might be 'special' he might be 'successful', but neither of these always equate to happiness.

Relax, live life your way, it's not a race to see who gets to be the most successful, it's a journey worth savouring.

If he has a life plan for everything he will only end up being very disapointed.

You can have aspirations and goals but be prepared to change them

Life plan?

Sounds a bit anal and boring to me but, but hey ho if it makes him feel happy and achieve what he wants best of luck to him.

I am planning on making a plan someday might do it at the end and it will look like I followed it perfectly!

life is what happens while your busy making other plans.... or summin'....

...and if I were you, I would plan on taking a small bottle filled with urine on the next trip to his house, and I would plan on emptying it into his shoes.

Didn't plan for that, did he?

lifes a journey not a destination.

Thanks guys.

I thought maybe it was me.

Frankly, this 'life plan' business gave me the willies... apparently, bro has worked with a Buddha-like single pointed mind for more than a decade to realise his plan.

Meanwhile, I was getting ratted, riding hill and dale, and generally wondering what next Tuesday would feel like.

This forum is great... as is the hive.

😉

Never had a plan and like it that way, if you'd have told me 5 yrs ago(working 12 hr night shifts in a factory) i'd have my own business and would have spent this week at college aquiring my pesticide license i'd have told you to piss off 😐

My 17 yo son is not sure what to do and lack direction.
He seemed shocked when I told him that I don't know what I want to do when (if) I grow up 😳

**** that! I find a general idea helps, but I ma not the kind of person who has a "life plan" and it would make me miserable to create one.

A bit more "seat of the pants" for me, and it's fun!

Having said that, having a plan to get us back to Scotland to live would be good. Living in switzerland with 2 (almost 3) kids it's gettign mroe and more difficult to figure that bit out!

Kev

Meanwhile, I was getting ratted, riding hill and dale, and generally wondering what next Tuesday would feel like.

Now that's a good plan. Some vague goals might not go a miss... you know making it to 30, nailing some massive drop off, that sort of thing. But your bro sounds like he lives to work... that's a life failure.

.and if I were you, I would plan on taking a small bottle filled with urine on the next trip to his house, and I would plan on emptying it into his shoes.

Didn't plan for that, did he?

😆

I guess its a "personality type" thing.
[url= http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTP.html ]This is me summed up nicely[/url] and I can't see a life plan dropping out of that!

Entropy means rigid plans inevitably fail. Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride.

I have 2 brothers, one is a vet and has always known exactly what he wanted to do. He is one of the happiest guys i know and an inspiration to me in many ways, The other is a complete ditherer and just goes with the flow. He loves his life and with a masters in zoology decided he was bored last year and is now teaching english in vietnam. Me i was very motivated in my chosen careers until about last year when for some reason i hit a plateau and realised that i had finally got to exactly the place i wanted to go and kind of lost interest. I dont think i am as happy as my brothers because of a few choices i have made but.....in answer to your question it really doesn't matter about plans. What matters is the happiness that others bring to your life and the happiness you bring to theirs. Live a good life and try to be happy. The rest will hopefully fall into place.

I plan on retiring in less than 30 years.

Somewhere with a warmer climate.

Other than that, take it as it comes.

it takes a special type to be fulfilled by academic chemistry!

i dont think i ever had a plan, but im quite happy about where my lifes ended up

is suspect worrying about it too much will just get in the way of enjoying life anyway

Ecky-Thump, this personality type thing is fascinating.

I've been tested and apparently I'm an INTP, which means I "live in the world of theoretical possibilities", "seek clarity in everything" and am an "absent-minded professor". Av it, bro!

This is my favourite bit from the INTP case file:

Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

Maybe this makes me life plan immune?

I had a life plan until earlier this year, when it got spectacularly nuked. Since one of the main tenets of the plan was 'This plan is subject to change' I'm actually finding not having a plan, just more of a general direction rather refreshing, and I'm a damn sight more cheerful now than I was three months ago, so there!

Like your bro, I have pursued high level academic chemistry for years. I'll probably know your bro if he is an organic chemist (and if he really is at a high level). The path to success is indeed very clearly defined for the academic track. So if you're on it, then this is reassuring in a way. The challenges are clear and understood, which is good. This sort of thing is more the exception though - most people find their own way in life without such structures in place.

Happiness, though, is a different animal. The sharp end of scientific research (or anything else for that matter) is not a happy place. That's not to say it's a miserable place - anyone who has a job that allows total creativity is blessed. But I don't know too many chemistry profs who I'd characterise as 'happy'.

I don't have any sort of plan. I don't think our world is a great one to be making plans in, with things stacked as precariously as they are. I've also seen that plans can be so easily ruined by the simplest of occurrences.

Those I know with some kind of solid life plan are generally those with a lack of imagination, and their plans tend to be based around the most dull things. Conversely, everyone I know that is remotely exciting generally hasn't got a clue what they're doing or what they might want to be doing in a few years time.

I think finding what you're best at and trying to do that as much as possible is far more important than forming some sort of long term plan. Generally we enjoy doing the things we're best at, and we do best what we do most.

With solid long term plans you can end up goal obsessed and before you know it you've died having not paid attention to anything except the next goal.

The chances are, with the human condition being the way it is, if you actually made good on your plans and achieved everything you set out to achieve, you'd find yourself no more content than before you started. So learning to feel complete with ones lack of completion might be a wiser move.

Life, you could say, is a bit like cycle touring. Some people like to meander and take in the views, to chat and stop for a pint on the way. Others like to get their heads down and crank away to the next check point as quickly as possible. The latter might get to the end quicker and earn internet bragging rights, but the former probably got more from the trip.

Unless you actually enjoy going hell for leather all the time, which can of course be quite fun. Speed just has that one unfortunate side affect - the faster you go, the quicker you'll invariably get to the end.

Life plans are one of those horrible Americanisms that makes its way into British language every now and again....same as 5 years plans and 10 year plans etc....previously we'd have said somebody was ambitious or simply wanted to do well in their career.

I started young in my chosen field and then took on a mortgage at 26....i like my job and my little house....i am fortunate enough to have a small disposable income that allows me to ride bikes (both pedal and motor)....and thats good enough for me.

The problem with making firm plans is that if they arent achieved then disappointment and a sense of failure can set in....who wants to make themselves feel like that?

As a baseline i try to maintain the above (my career and my mortgage)....if i go for a promotion at work then it will be a nice bonus but i wont set it in stone when that will be....i like to do one big thing at a time....life is simpler and more enjoyable for me like that, i see friends trying to do too many things at once and they even look stressed on a night out....not for me thanks.

One of the most liberating things i learnt shortly before turning 30 was the expression "get f##ked"....provided my actions wont jeopardise my job or my mortgage then i am more than prepared to tell somebody (or metaphorically speaking a situation) to "get f##ked" and then walk away....its the beautiful simplicity i like and its made life so much easier.

I expect there’s something about mountain biking that attracts looser, freer thinking out doorsy types so the above replies which mostly state they take life as it comes are to be expected, over on golftrackworld they’re probably laying out their plans to have a C-class at 26 an E-class at 32 an S-class at 40 before retiring to the golf courses of southern Spain with an SL by 50.

The world is full of different types of people and that’s great.

I think you absolutely can be happy without a life plan, just like you could be happy or unhappy WITH a life plan.

For a long time I did things because they made me happy, rather than that they were part of a plan. My degree, and subsequent job that I fell into and remained in for 9 years for example.

Now I've had a career change, and new job last year and with that has come career ambitions and more of a plan, and I like the way that feels. My advice would be live how it makes you feel happy, and you will know if/when you feel like you want to change that. Also remember - comparisons are pointless!

Have a plan to pursue happiness. A specific plan may be a bad things if things don't work out.

life would be pretty boring if it was all laid out in plans in front of you.
i take each day as it comes, always have.
dont have a pension so will keep on working as long as i have to.
life throws up challenges and we as a family try to deal with them as and when.

I try not to plan, planning just leaves you open to failing. If you fail to plan, everything is a success.

I planned to buy a yum yum in Greggs, but when I'd got there they'd all sold out. I changed my plan unexpectedly and bought 6 doughnuts instead. Life is, as they say, wonderful.

i've had a life plan since leaving school.. it's called "me".

i've not planned things as such, more that i've said that "x" is something i'd like to do and i've gone and done it or taken an opportunity when one has arisen. most of my decision have been short-termist, but mostly with positive long-term consequences.

life is too important to take seriously.... do what makes you happy, not what others think you should be doing....

i get stoned and ride my bike 🙂

If you find something you want to do, then plan it and do it. That kind of achievement can be feel rewarding and give confidence.

I've never felt that strongly about anything. Am I happy? Well I suspect that's a relative feeling and more to do with one's innate personality. But not setting and achieving goals does seem to dent my self-esteem a bit.

The problem is that I cannot set out to satisfy life aspirations without upsetting other important people. And the idea of setting any professional goals at work is a joke - we do what we're told.

Ecky-Thump. Just read your link. Spooky! No life plan here either! Currently trying to work towards an idea of where might I want to live next, where might be a good place to bring up kids, what I might do for a living there.

"What do I want to do when I grow up?" really! 🙂

mrlugz - Member
I plan on retiring in less than 30 years.

Somewhere with a warmer climate.

Other than that, take it as it comes.

No life plan here, but I got lucky. Cousin with a five year rolling life plan has done spectacularly, mind!

WTF is a Life Plan???

I mean, are you flippin' seroius?

Other than "work as little as possible" and "don't worry if someone else has a bigger TV" what else do you really need to know?

Isn't the whole point just to enjoy the ride? The point of a journey isn't neccessarily to arrive.

Isn't the whole point just to enjoy the ride? The point of a journey isn't neccessarily to arrive.

Worth saying twice apparently 😀

My brother had a pretty thorough plan for making himself a wealthy and powerful man. To be fair he worked really hard at it and made many sacrifices to achieve his goals. He was doing pretty well for quite a few years, and making a bloody good living, far more money than I'm getting as a nurse. But his plan was making cash through selling drugs, and he currently resides at one of her majesty's prisons and will do for some time. Not all plans are good.
As someone who spends his working life asking people why they have tried to top themselves; I'd say really rigid plans with unrealistic expectations and no flexibility are a bit rubbish, but so is having no plan at all.

Other than have fun, no. But good luck ti anyone who does.

'life plan'...

Sometimes I used to think that I wished I was smart enough to have one. I was led to believe that you should.

Anyhow, I never did.

A few things I did know that I wanted from life were:

A family
Fun
Be active
etc

no 'plan' to any of it though.

I'm just not the kind of person who can plan. But going through life with what I think is a good attitude has given me many things:

A family
Fun
I'm very active
etc

Just go with the flow with a rough idea of what you want. I found it has taken me many places I never would have thought of. Some good, some really bloody good, some not so but you learn from them all...

I'm still enjoying it all so far...

I think you need to look for wisdom in the words of Spinal Taps last drummer:

"have a good time... All the time"

Whooosh! And I'm back in the thread.

Cheers for all the comments, guys.

I guess you're right. Going with the flow certainly has its advantages.

But, on the other hand, aren't there advantages to having clearly defined goals? My brother - yes, he's a successful organic chemist - would certainly say so.

The problem with having no recognisable goals is: how do you gauge how you're doing? Do you waste potential by not pursuing your potential in a methodical, organised way? Or is that beside the point?

Hitler had a plan, "the dude" didn't...

"Careful man, there's a beverage here!"

Classic.

I'm with Guy Martin on this one:

"We're here for a good time, not a long time"

&

"if I die with more than £2 in my pocket, I've made a serious miscalculation"

🙂

I like you Poddy.. you've just made it into my top 100 forum members.

If you make a "goal" what do you do when you achieve it? Get bored?

Worse still, what if you never do? Will you feel a failure and die unhappy?

And how do you want to be remembered? For spending all your time at work or for being a nice person?

EDIT

To be blunt, I think you'd be more happy without worrying about some pie in the sky plan. I don't have one. I'm happy with what I have.

I've made a plan..

Hopefully going to buy my first property next year.

see now, I used to follow what others said. I made a goal and then when I achieved it I then sat and had to think 'what's next'.

I hated that pressure. I much prefer the whole approach of 'let's see what happens next'.

As one very sensible chap said to me 'no matter how bad it may seem, something will always come around'.

And you know what - it does...

I should add that I'm posting this from India. Did I ever think I would be here? Hell no!
Is it the best? I doubt it (that's a whole other story) but it's mega interesting.
Where will it lead to next? No idea but I look forward to it!...

Plan? You're meant to have a plan? Why wasnt I told this?

If it makes him happy then fine.

For me, I have to be focused and destination orientated in work. In my own time I'll just relax a bit and see what happens.

I seem to remember a saying related to a guy called jack being a bit dull if he followed such a process in his life.

I've not got a plan as such, but I do have a goal to focus on. It's doing something I love, but I need more time to both afford what I want to do, and get good enough to be able to do it. The money side of things mean I stay driven at work, which does help. I love my job though.

My wife's goal is "chickens". She wants us to have a house where we can have chickens, and this again means hard work to get there. No plan whatsoever, just something to focus towards.

The problem with having no recognisable goals is: how do you gauge how you're doing? Do you waste potential by not pursuing your potential in a methodical, organised way? Or is that beside the point?

What is the scale on this gauge you use to measure how you're doing? What's potential, how did you get lumbered with it? How can it be wasted, or where might you pursue it to?

Is success measured in TV screen diameter? Size of car? Length of driveway? Or is it measured in your own happiness while you're here? Are success and happiness directly linked? It's up to you, isn't it. Nobody else cares. They're too busy worrying about their status to notice yours.

If you're reading this, you'll probably enjoy this:

Our two favorite subjects at Cracked are the elusive concept of human happiness and Batman. This article is about the first one.
If you're looking for an answer to "How can I be happy?" then the response from the experts is, "You're asking the wrong question." The better question is why our idea of happiness is so screwed up that most of us wouldn't recognize the real thing if we saw it. Well ...

[url= http://www.cracked.com/article_19376_5-scientific-reasons-your-idea-happiness-wrong.html#ixzz1VPd3riOn ]5 Scientific Reasons Your Idea of Happiness Is Wrong[/url]

[img] [/img]
[b]Seems like a plan to me![/b]

Faced with a Careers Advisor aged 14(*), I was mildly concerned that I'd no idea what I wanted to do / be "when I grew up." I figured that I'd work it out in a year or two, before it became important.

Now aged 39, I've still not got any ideas as to what I want to do when I grow up. All I can say is, I seem to have kinda done ok so far. I'm not loaded, but I think that on the whole I'm having fun. Which, I think, is pretty much the point.

(* - me, not him)

My wife has some kind of plan for us, involving saving money, buying a house and being successful. I have a plan to take some of that money and buy an xx groupset and hope she doesn't cry too much. I haven't planned any futher than this. I'm certain the net result will make me happy.

I opened this thread thinking it was a question directed to me personally. Like everyone else apart from me has a life plan or something! and I'm not in on the information! well, I'm open to new ideas...

where's The Plan? or A Plan.. cmon you planners, let me in on your secret world to make me happier!

mrlugz - Member
I plan on retiring in less than 30 years.

Somewhere with a warmer climate.

Other than that, take it as it comes.

But funding that does require planning now, surely?

No life plan here, but I got lucky. Cousin with a five year rolling life plan has done spectacularly, mind!

Not really. I work, pay into a pension, pay a mortgage.

Not so much a plan, more of a 'thats just what happens day to day'

The stuff that happens within the next 30 years? I'll just have to wait and see...

i dont feel the need for a plan .... just a direction

i work offshore at the moment - piling money away to buy a house ASAP ....

will i be working off shore in 10 years .... i hope to **** not , something somewhere has gone wrong for me if i am !

My attitude is summed up by the this 'joke' I heard a while back...

Teacher: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Tom?"
Tom: "I want to be an astronaut, miss"
Teacher: "Very good, and what about you, Alice?"
Alice: "I want to be a lawyer, miss"
Teacher: "Good choice, Alice. What about you Billy, what do you want to be?"
Little Billy: "I want to be happy, miss"
Teacher: "I don't think you understand the question, Billy"
Little Billy: "No miss, I think you don't understand life"

My plan is to explore opportunities that present themselves
Some bring income, some bring interesting experiences
I have no other plan

Generally the people who have a plan seem to very dull and unfulfilled, and in many cases they don't end up with the happy ending they'd hoped for

It's a good idea to have ambition and make and take opportunities, and having a specific and defined objective can help you raise your game but... having a life plan for yourself is essentially narcissistic. Which tends to make you unpopular with other people.
Each to their own but I prefer to spend time with people who can see beyond their own perspective and needs...

In answer to the original question - of course you can. I wish however, that I had made a few more plans than I actually did, especially whilst in education. My kids will have the options and consequences explained to them! They can then make an educated choice.

Life is just a set of random opportunities which you only notice if you're not too blinkered.... Plans just blinker people so they miss most of them.

Okay, that's agreed. But can you have a life without a happy plan?

I've never heard of a life plan until reading this.

Unless it's something big like a wedding or work related, it's best not to plan, they always go pear shaped anyway.

i have a 2 step life plan:

1) ride bikes so i can learn to wheelie
2) wheelie

it's going well, i'm like, totally getting a handle on step 1...

The path to success is indeed very clearly defined for the academic track. So if you're on it, then this is reassuring in a way. The challenges are clear and understood, which is good. This sort of thing is more the exception though - most people find their own way in life without such structures in place.

I think that is a great description of why plans work so well for some people. It's possible to be clever and academic and find life easy as a set of clear targets/exams etc. Here's the criteria, here's exactly what you need to achieve. Tick, tick, tick. It's hard work, but there's little risk or uncertainty so, is it really [i]hard work[/i]?
There is much to be gained from risking failure.

nedrapier - Member

If you're reading this, you'll probably enjoy this:

Our two favorite subjects at Cracked are the elusive concept of human happiness and Batman. This article is about the first one.
If you're looking for an answer to "How can I be happy?" then the response from the experts is, "You're asking the wrong question." The better question is why our idea of happiness is so screwed up that most of us wouldn't recognize the real thing if we saw it. Well ...

5 Scientific Reasons Your Idea of Happiness Is Wrong

Ned, that is an excellent link. Really enjoyed that, ta.

It's a question I've pondered recently. My best friend at uni was always very money focused and vowed to be a millionaire by 30 and a dad. A couple of years ago he sold a company he co-founded for £5m. He might have missed by a couple of years and had to suck up some desktime in IT in the process, but impressive nonetheless and his kids are adorable.
I was always more experience oriented. I figured that I'd rather do all things I want while my body is in OK shape than wait until my 50s. And in that I've also largely succeeded. But I have niggling fears about not having a career as such or a family. And while I'm materialistic, knowing that I'll never own a house like Fallingwater or live wherever I want doesn't bring much joy. Maybe I shouldn't have deferred responsibility for quite so long!

Having a life plan seems to be very common in the States. People plan from an early age where they want to go to college, what they're going to do when they graduate etc. I've found most American students I know have it pretty much down.

Me? I have no idea where I want to be or what I want to do and I'm very happy with that. Just playing it by ear. There's things I want to do on the way but nothing that could be called a 'life plan'. Each to their own I reckon.

Sounds like the same approach the British take to business as was discussed on another thread this week. Muddle through and make it up as we go along. Works well enough for some things, but not everything

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.
Joseph Campbell

I think the person who takes a job in order to live - that is to say, for the money - has turned himself into a slave.
Joseph Campbell

Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.
Joseph Campbell

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.
Joseph Campbell