still - a few smiles in there
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and
'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset
with you.
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester .
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all
written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative
Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO, Wolverhampton
DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
GWR FM, Bristol
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
RTE RADIO 2FM, Ireland
Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about
pensioners: Last Of The. .?
Caller: Mohicans.
RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .
RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))
Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er. . .
Presenter: He makes bread. . .
Contestant: Err...
Presenter: He makes cakes . .
Contestant: Kipling Street ?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?
BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1)
Chris Moyles: Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm. . .
Moyles: It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan .
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that,
I can let you try again.
Caller: Er . . . Mexico ?
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging
character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?
Contestant: Basketball.
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?
Contestant: Jelly.
FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and
PIT.
Team: Chedpit.
SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.
NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest ?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland , is it?
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'j' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?
DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every
year?
Contestant: I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?
TALKSPORT
Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have?
Caller: Two.
Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab...?
Caller: Five.
MAGIC 52 ( NORTH-EAST ENGLAND )
Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm...
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?
JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND )
Forsyth: What is India 's currency?
Contestant: Ramadan
The first one's true, I saw it. Very funny.
Family Fortunes
Bob Monkhouse: Name a dangerous race
Contestant: The Arabs
Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?
Contestant: Jelly.
that's a fair point when you think about it
*waits for abuse from smarty-pants chemists*
SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.
Classic.
These are brilliant!
Brilliant!
Mind, I remmeber a chappie writing to Private Eye about their "Dumb Britain" slot, in which he pointed out that the people selected for game shows, all else being equal, are those who are prepared to guess wildly out of total ignorance, ratrher than those who routinely admit that they don't know the answer to a question. 😀
Just like STW members then 😆
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all
written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative
Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
LOL!
Family Fortunes:
Host: Types of Ache
Contestant: Fillet o' Fish
😆
Flatboy, is that for real???!
LOL! I can't even begin to get me head round that one!
You'd have to have to poor sod sectioned, for their own good.
Oh, that's had me chuckling making me cheese toasties, that has!
Reminds me of this list I saw, outside Tate Modern:
[img] http://images.fotopic.net/?iid=ywrdc9&outx=600&noresize=1&nostamp=1 [/img]
RudeBoy - MemberFlatboy, is that for real???!
LOL! I can't even begin to get me head round that one!
You'd have to have to poor sod sectioned, for their own good.
Oh, that's had me chuckling making me cheese toasties, that has!
it is, i've seen it with my own eyes 😆
After Fanny Craddock had finished making doughuts the presenter said 'i hope your doughnuts turn out like fanny's' 😳