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[Closed] BBC: Cyclist calls out driver for sexual harassment

 DezB
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.. I said before how bad does it have to be before it is sexual harassment? Do the comments have to be more sexualised? Mild touching never really hurts? C’mon, where’s your line?

Discussed this with my partner, after I'd told her about the OP incident, she yelled "That's sexual harrassment!!" before I could finish. Mainly we discussed this because of how brave a woman would have to be to confront an offender like that. She's often told me about fear she has driving when gestured at by men, fear just walking the street, things that we just can't imagine as it NEVER happens to us.
But... there's also the "private" jokes, like plus-one's on the other page (which made me smile), which can certainly be acceptable, if they don't have a victim. We are still allowed to have a sense of humour! Talked about this cos during the UCI Women's race I'd joked about one of the rider's bottoms having a mud stripe down it. I was reassured that I am indeed, hilarious and not (very) sexist 😀


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 3:19 pm
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I’ve no idea what was deleted but this line is always a great shibboleth of an Olympic-grade bellend. See also, “triggered” and “snowflake” and any other pissant whining when someone gets called out for being a fin du cloche.

How anyone could take that line at face value I really do not know.

If you find STW too PC then I suggest you **** off to Pistonheads where you’ll fit right in.

This is my point. You’re all falling over yourselves to be wokest of opinion, yet consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 7:01 pm
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I don’t mind saying, I reported the post.

Fair play. I’m not sure why it needed reporting or moderating though. It’s a common viewpoint that can’t really be suppressed and is easily countered.

I don’t care whether others think it’s acceptable, it’s not.

That’s not very democratic. Is it right to deny them a voice? Wouldn’t it be better to persuade?

As I said before how bad does it have to be before it is sexual harassment? Do the comments have to be more sexualised? Mild touching never really hurts? C’mon, where’s your line?

Legalising rape? Why did the straw man cross the road?

This is a big part of the debate. Where DO you draw the line? The lower (higher?) you draw it, the fewer people you will have onside. And the more the big things will be drowned out by the little things.

Your views are misogynist, simple as.

I haven’t expressed my views. And before you or someone else leaps on that, I can do that if I want. Did you never have debates at school where you had to argue the unpopular side?

The suppression/cancellation/abuse of dissenting views on this site irritates me sometimes and that’s why I chip in. Call me a **** for that if you want but it’s who I am.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 7:25 pm
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I'm going to remember that next time I say something stupid.

"I was arguing an unpopular opinion, you know...like at school"


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 7:30 pm
 DezB
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Yay, it's gonna turn into a typie-typie-embedded-quotey-fest! Haven't had one of those for ...oooh, a good week.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 7:31 pm
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Chrispo - as I said, I asked for it to be left up so your point could be debated. Not my choice to take it down, but if you post comments like those without condemning them then you have to expect to be considered as aligning with them.

Where the line is, is not a straw man. It's a question; when ladies absolutely say it's not acceptable I'm interested in YOUR opinion about what is and isn't. Do you really think it's just bantz? Or are they all being woke as well? They love it really they just pretend to be offended?

I’m going to remember that next time I say something stupid.

“I was arguing an unpopular opinion, you know…like at school”

Henceforth known as 'The Welsh Defence'


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 7:41 pm
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oh, and FWIW

yet consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.

It's not, I side with you absolutely on this. Whatever we think of racists and sexists and..... and however abhorrent their views, we should remain civil while calling them out on their views.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 7:45 pm
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Was just putting the other point of view, held by quite possibly the majority in the real world.

Could people refer to my post second one I think. Prior to this slightly less revolting comment someone said the would "**** her up the arse" it wasn't reported on the been article but it helps add context and if you manage to open your eyes it helps highlight the slow drip, drip of sexual harassment and also how seemingly less "serious" bangs shite needs stamping out.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 7:53 pm
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If you find STW too PC then I suggest you **** off to Pistonheads where you’ll fit right in.

Ah, is that where they've all gone...... political variants of concern?


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 8:08 pm
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Autocorrect is shite isn't it.
Bangs = bants and been = beeb


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 8:16 pm
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someone said woke blah blah blahshit

I can't believe we are having to have a discussion about whether or not it is acceptable for a larger stronger person to intimidate a weaker person, because that is what this is and made worse by the sexual context. What kind of society do we want?!


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 8:46 pm
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Did you never have debates at school where you had to argue the unpopular side?

This isn’t a school debate though. What made you choose the offensive position in this case, among a group of strangers?

Either you have offensive views, or you are pretending to have offensive views in order to offend. Which makes you a troll.

To then constantly, deliberately take the difficult/offensive position, then complain when people call you/yours a ****, seems like you are aiming for that in the first place, trying to bait others.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 9:10 pm
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Fair play. I’m not sure why it needed reporting or moderating though. It’s a common viewpoint that can’t really be suppressed and is easily countered.

Oh sure. And 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 9:30 pm
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yet consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.

It’s not, I side with you absolutely on this. Whatever we think of racists and sexists and….. and however abhorrent their views, we should remain civil while calling them out on their views.

An unpopular view on here sadly, as I found out earlier today


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 10:02 pm
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I typed out a long post but got tied up in knots. It's so much easier to go full woke than to navigate the minefield and look for nuance (shades of grey, who defines offence, where is the line, role of context, absolute vs relative, crowding out more serious stuff).

Some good points made above though. If I did offend anyone, I do apologise. Not my intention. Seems it's easy to do.

I don't know where you draw the line. I'd never say anything like that. But I know people who would, and I also know people who would take it as it was intended.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 10:46 pm
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and I also know people who would take it as it was intended.

How was it intended and how do you know this?


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 11:00 pm
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Seems it’s easy to do.

Of course, yes…


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 11:03 pm
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It’s so much easier to go full woke than to navigate the minefield ......

Still can't work out if this is clumsy or you just can't help barbing every comment, but standing up against people who comment on women in the street is not 'going full woke'. I've got to be honest, I don't think it's a very grey area at all, commenting on people in this way is just not acceptable. It's not banter, and it's not harmless / victimless.

I don’t know where you draw the line. I’d never say anything like that. But I know people who would and I also know people who would take it as it was intended.

If you aren't part of the solution you're part of the problem. Call it out for what it is. Don't tolerate it.


 
Posted : 14/06/2021 11:52 pm
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This is my point. You’re all falling over yourselves to be wokest of opinion, yet consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.

Oh yeah, you can add "woke" to the list of shitbag flags too. Just another right-wing fascist bullshit pseudo-insult designed to cancel people who dare to suggest that we might want to be nice to each other.

consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.

You think me suggesting an alternative forum which might be more receptive to your views is 'abuse'?

****ing Snowflake.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 1:47 am
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Corollary,

If you don't want to be called names and then run and cry "abuse," don't throw around terms that you freely admit yourself you think are abusive. Because you're gonna get it back with bells on if you do, this isn't Facebook.

STW is highly effective at self-policing, with a little steering and an occasional dash of chlorine in the gene pool we've finely tuned it over a decade or two to not give *-ists an uncontested platform. Be nice and everyone else will be nice back to you. Be nasty and you must accept that people will call you out for it. Be nasty and then go whining to teacher and you'll get laughed out of the room.

You will rarely be officially censored, but you can choose to make a positive contribution or a negative one. Something about making beds or reaping what you sow or getting out what you put in, or something.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 1:53 am
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Woke
Alert, aware of what is going on, or well-informed, especially in racial and other social justice issues

If somebody called me woke I would consider that a compliment. For those that are using woke in a way they think is an insult (on this thread) can they explain what is wrong with being aware or well informed?


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 7:39 am
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Just to point out the " abuse" crispo suffered was me calling out his other halfs anti vax views somewhat harshly - for which I was warned and the post removed. so you are not free to abuse folk on here. Moderation does work


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 7:48 am
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Agree, I have had a warning and post removed for crossing the line in the past.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 7:53 am
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You think me suggesting an alternative forum which might be more receptive to your views is ‘abuse’?

**** Snowflake.

I suspect that the reference was to other stuff. Such as you referring to people who use the term "woke" of being "right-wing fascist".

Interesting that you should make the "chlorine" comment because stw has indeed been politically sterilised in recent years, there is little chance of seeing a comment in support of Boris Johnson, the Tories, Brexit, or anything else that offends middle-class liberal sensitivities.

And yes as you say stw is highly effective in self-policing, or in stifling debate depending on your point of view. I did consider posting my opinion that the lady in the story probably made a mistake catching up with the catcaller and telling him he was disgusting as a reaction was surely what he was after, indeed he apparently laughed and drove off.

But yet despite caring little about upsetting the sensitivities of middle-class liberals I frankly couldn't be arsed with the likely the likely reaction....."you're blaming the victim, you right-wing fascist, next you'll be claiming that rape is acceptable, blah, blah, blah"


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 10:11 am
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Cougar

It’s PC gone mad

If you find STW too PC then I suggest you **** off to Pistonheads where you’ll fit right in.

Sorry for the messy quoting, but I found this hilarious....because....

I work with a bloke who is a red-faced closet racist, sexist, misogynistic bloke who will whine on to anyone who listens about 'PC gone mad', 'Health & Safety gone mad', Big Pharma conspiracies etc. and he is an ardent fan of & contributor on Pistonheads.

He has these big opinions that he thinks make him sound big & clever which he will loudly bleat around the office but when you call him up on the things he says, he has no real viewpoint or opinion on it of any substance. I'm not very good at arguing/discussion and getting an objective viewpoint across, but it's fairly easy to tear this bloke to shreds with a few reasoned points of debate.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 10:22 am
 Olly
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yet consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.

dont talk rot. If there was a forum member seriously posting about how "they went for a ride with another forum member and she had a cracking arse" or "have you seen that post on the front page about Emily Batty, phwoar", i think the admins would be having words. Calling someone out for being a **** is totally different.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 10:25 am
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@ernielynch - STW isn't sterilized, it's robust: if you make a claim and can't back it up then you will be called out on it. See the various Brexit threads as an example, someone turns up, makes a statement and is asked to back it up with *facts*, they can't so leave. Just how many flat earther threads are there?

None of the above justifies personal abuse (either here or in real life) which is what this thread is about: personal verbal abuse of a sexual nature. Exposing it and calling it out isn't "wokism" it's a mark of personal integrity.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 10:28 am
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Forgive me for turning up to the forum in a short skirt. I must be asking for it.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 11:36 am
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Forgive me for turning up to the forum in a short skirt. I must be asking for it.

There's plenty of support here for trans people. Less support for those trolling for a reaction.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 11:40 am
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 blah, blah, blah

Although it didn't seem to stop you suggesting that women become nurses just so they could marry doctors the other week.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 11:54 am
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https://time.com/4772182/sexual-harassment-workplace-women-men/

I've had this from both men and women 🙁

Nothing happened to me on these occasions, but very comfortable.

All those little inner Sid James or the female equivelant needs to be kicked into touch. ASAP.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 1:59 pm
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Forgive me for turning up to the forum in a short skirt. I must be asking for it.

As I've nailed my colours firmly to the "no need to be insulting " mast, can I just say that I am surprised that you thought posting that was a good idea. 🤦‍♂️


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 2:26 pm
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I must be asking for it.

For attention? Quite clearly.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 2:32 pm
 nbt
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If there was a forum member seriously posting about how “they went for a ride with another forum member and she had a cracking arse” or “have you seen that post on the front page about Emily Batty, phwoar”, i think the admins would be having words.

The late SimonFBarnes was a proponent of this and was rebuked on occasion, I seem to recall

Interesting that you should make the “chlorine” comment because stw has indeed been politically sterilised in recent years, there is little chance of seeing a comment in support of Boris Johnson, the Tories, Brexit, or anything else that offends middle-class liberal sensitivities.

And were the commenters who expressed themselves in support of Boris Johnson, the Tories, Brexit, or anything else that offends middle-class liberal sensitivities banned, or were their posts removed, or is it that they no longer post here as their views are robustly challenged? It's the membership who listen to what you are saying and challenge it, and that is a good thing for me

and yes, sign me up to the whole "I am proud to be woke" movement. Be Nice, even when the other person isn't


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 2:44 pm
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And were the commenters who expressed themselves in support of Boris Johnson, the Tories, Brexit, or anything else that offends middle-class liberal sensitivities banned, or were their posts removed, or is it that they no longer post here as their views are robustly challenged?

I think he probably just misses arguing with Jamba and that other Tory fantasist who used to endlessly troll here.

I have strong political views myself, but debating them here seems a bit pointless. Not to mention that the main political threads are often dominated by a few tiresome individuals.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 4:24 pm
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Forgive me for turning up to the forum in a short skirt. I must be asking for it.

as a chap who has been know to wear ladies clothes, you do have to be very careful with the length of "short skirt" and how supportive your undergarments are. Get it wrong and you can look like the clapper in a bell!

and back to the original gist of the thread, if you struggle to say things without feeling that you may offend the woke masses maybe think of the old adage, if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all.

we also seem to have the lost the ability as a society to disagree without being disagreeable.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 4:39 pm
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Interesting that you should make the “chlorine” comment because stw has indeed been politically sterilised in recent years, there is little chance of seeing a comment in support of Boris Johnson, the Tories, Brexit, or anything else that offends middle-class liberal sensitivities.

We do have forum threads about Brexit and Boris Johnson. Those who posted in support of either tended to be the minority of people here who eschew evidence based decision making or who are fans of the tactical non-sequitur when their rationale has painted them into a corner.

We also have threads about Jeremy Corbyn and Keir Starmer, with overtly critical posts. Some of those criticisms I agree with, despite me being a serial Labour voter of late.

Besides, we all agree to abide by certain rules when we sign up for the forum. It's not a playground and the moderators reserve the right to moderate as they see fit.

Forgive me for turning up to the forum in a short skirt. I must be asking for it.

If that's an attempt at humour it's piss-poor. Either that or it's a textbook example of pushing the boundaries of appropriateness for attention.

and yes, sign me up to the whole “I am proud to be woke” movement. Be Nice, even when the other person isn’t

I have a lot of sympathy for this view.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 4:43 pm
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How anyone could take that line at face value I really do not know

"It was just a joke" - you say you pretended to be unpc (twice?), and don't understand what people assumed you aren't pc, and whine about it?

This is my point. You’re all falling over yourselves to be wokest of opinion, yet consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.

Erm, grow some. Two entirely different things.

And...

Forgive me for turning up to the forum in a short skirt. I must be asking for it.

Good lord, weapons grade victimhood and lack of self awareness to boot.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 4:43 pm
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STW isn’t sterilized, it’s robust

It has indeed been politically sterilised. If you feel it hasn't then I can only assume that you weren't around when Tory supporters would post their views on here with gay abandon.

I remember once making a critical comment concerning Boris Johnson when he was London Mayor, the reaction from Tory supporters on here was swift, can you imagine a similar situation today on the Boris Johnson thread??

The political cleansing has occurred through a climate of intolerance and hostility. Cougar's posts, to give one of the more extreme example, positively drip with anger, bitterness, and intolerance (at least binners makes his rants fun)

The few individuals to the right of the Guardian who remain, such as Mefty and big n daft, post very little and tend to make observational remarks rather than strong representations of what they believe. I only know of Mefty's support for the Tory Party because of what he posted years ago, not what he posts these days.

Obviously many people will be very happy with squeaky clean echo chamber. And why not? Nothing wrong with being in an environment with like-minded people. But I'm not sure what they think they might be getting out of it.

For me personally it provides a wonderful window into the mindset of middle-class liberals, I'm not sure where else I could experience that so vividly. I do indeed feel that I'm on safari 🙂

The brexit thread is a particularly good example. I have absolutely no idea what people who post on it think they are achieving - what is the point of expressing the same view everyday to people who agree with you anyway? Will it ever end? Or will it still be chugging along in 10 or 20 years time? I am strangely drawn to it though.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 4:55 pm
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This is my point. You’re all falling over yourselves to be wokest of opinion, yet consider it acceptable to abuse actual people on this site.

There's a fair point hidden away there though. Like most, I CBA to engage in the contentious topics but blimey, when posted, are they swarmed over by the usual suspects. Genuinely, a pack animal approach to anyone that doesn't conform.

Those advocating tolerance can be the most intolerant of all!

This isn't restricted to here, obvz, but we definitely are on the far scale of the spectrum.

Anyhow, just my view. Carry on 🙂


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 4:56 pm
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comment because stw has indeed been politically sterilised in recent years, there is little chance of seeing a comment in support of Boris Johnson, the Tories, Brexit, or anything else that offends middle-class liberal sensitivities.

...And yet here you are, posting happily with no interference, no banning, no restrictions...odd. I can only assume that you align yourself with middle class liberal sensitivities, which I have to admit, comes as a shock.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 4:58 pm
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And yet here you are, posting happily with no interference, no banning, no restrictions…

Well I've got you regularly on my case nick, so it's not all plain sailing.

And no, despite not being a Tory I am definitely not middle-class. And I have never considered myself to be particularly liberal, somehow marxist-lennist-liberal doesn't sound right. But in comparison to many on here I appear to be very much liberal, certainly far more tolerant than many.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 5:12 pm
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I tend to agree with you to some extent. I still think the forum has a strong centre right / establishment bias but its a lot less than it was.

I have no tolerance for tories and racists. I don't apologise for that.

"No attempt at ethical or social seduction can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin."

Never a truer word spoken. They are responsible for so much death and misery. Deliberately and directly they caused the impoverishment of millions while enriching themselves


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 5:21 pm
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Genuinely, a pack animal approach to anyone that doesn’t conform.

Those advocating tolerance can be the most intolerant of all!

It can certainly come across that way at times. I think some people are at a point of despair/desperation with the direction the country has taken that their default position is to overreact.


 
Posted : 15/06/2021 5:31 pm
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