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[Closed] Asking permission from the father in law to be...

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[#368535]

Going to propose to my girlfriend at the end of them month 😀
Booked the hotel, got a romantic way in my mind etc.....She has no idea but we've talked about marriage
Now the sticky point...i get on really well (i think and she does) with her parents and have no problem spending time and chatting to them but they live about an 1 1/2 hour drive away

Now, my girlfriends away until tomorrow night late so.... do i drive up tomorrow and visit them 250 mile trip... or do i ask on the phone 😕

How did it go for you lot? and yes at the moment i'm feeling like a chicken sh*t


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:18 pm
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are you marrying him or your gf?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:18 pm
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what's it got to do with him 😉


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:19 pm
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Follow your heart 😆


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:20 pm
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If you are going to ask, do it in person, but ask yourself if you really want / need to ask them.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:21 pm
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Make me a cuppa then Dave?? Your place is about 20mins up the road!


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:22 pm
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Phones fine.

Either way its a nice gesture so take no notice of anyone that gives you the macho "its your life" advice. It hurts no one.

When you have a daughter you may get the call.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:23 pm
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you'll be needing something stronger than a cuppa mate!


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:29 pm
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I agree - whats wrong with asking ? I did and he was so incredibly chuffed that I had bothered to that it put me right in there at the start. Anyone who says who cares has no regard for tradition. Just ring him and say that you are a man of tradition and it is important for you to have his blessing etc etc. Best case scenario is he is so overwhelmed he pays for the wedding - mine is 😉


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:31 pm
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Nice gesture to ask, but I didn't - my proposal was a (very drunken Navy ball) spur of the moment thing (was going to propose at some point soon anyway)! No time to call... And never a moment's regret.

Knew it would be fine with the (prospective) in-laws, whom I love very much, and Mrs JulianA loves my folks too.

Twelve years plus together and ten years plus married.

Go for it!

PS phildowling: Sounds like you are gonna break the speed limit with your drive!


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:36 pm
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Yeah ignored the numpty answers 😉 Got lots or respect for her Mum and Dad

Cheers Dave!. I've got to phone whatver really to check there in..and then they'd know anyway!

Oh god though doubt i'll be able to speak...


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:39 pm
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ring them up to make sure your future father-in-law is gonna be there - cos you'll look a right berk if he's out after driving all that way - then ask him face to face. He will appreciate the big effort you made to ask for his permission & you never know when this good one deed could be to your advantage in the future.

Good luck & don't forget to buy your future mother-in-law a little pressie (flowers, choccys, etc) as your future wife is also her little girl too 🙂


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:39 pm
 Smee
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You are from the south aren't you. Too much ****ing shandy drinking going on there soft lad....


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:40 pm
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LOL at Smee. Do you lot "wp narth" just club them over the head and carry them on your shouler? 😉


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:43 pm
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My mrs would have slapped me if I'd asked her old man first....


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:45 pm
 Smee
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28th December 2004 4:50pm watching football in the pub - Half time. GF "I think we should get married" Smee "Aye alright then, get the beers in".

5th March 2005 - Married.

That is how you do it.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:47 pm
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Ahhhhhh how sweet you remember the time!


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:51 pm
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Smee are you my Doppelgänger? that is almost a re-run of my proposal to mrs b


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:52 pm
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What was the score, Smee?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:54 pm
 Smee
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Only reason I remember the time was that the kick off was 4:05 and it was the start of the half time break. 🙂

We won 1:0 that day.

All in all not a bad day.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:55 pm
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Thought you were in the pub not playing?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:56 pm
 Smee
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We being the club I support.

Liverpool v Southampton. Sinama-pongolle scored the winner.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 9:58 pm
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I just asked my woman as I didn't think it was up to her dad.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 10:00 pm
 rs
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I hate tradition, load of bollocks! why should I have to do something a certain way just cause the generations before did. Makes no sense to me.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 10:03 pm
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Got engaged to missus Mick, then went and told the FiL, 'I'm marrying your daughter'. (Not a nice man by any stretch of the imagination.) His face when I told him was an absolute kodak moment. I think I've spoken to him for approx 20 mins since then and that was in 95. That's double the time Sue has managed.

If you're on good terms with them , then should be no probs. Could even be classed as a nice touch, that the future son in law has manners etc..


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 10:25 pm
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Just do it on the phone (if you feel you should), don't waste you're time driving all that way and if he's going to be grumpy about that then tell me to "get a grip" is the 21st Century!!

Sorry just my opinion but then I'm not that bothered about marriage and traditions!!!!


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 10:28 pm
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I'd echo what mmw said, what the f*ck has it got to do with him?

I have a three year old daughter, many years down the road if a lad calls me up to ask if he could marry her, I would tell him to stop being a tit, but if he wanted to marry me I'd have to think about it...


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 10:37 pm
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That's disrespecting your girl that is. Women no longer consider themselves to be the possession of men, to be passed on by agreement.

And what if he says no?

**** - what is [b]SHE[/b] says no?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 10:40 pm
 hora
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I think asking is very nice and still has its place, of course as long as you get along so so/ok or great. It says something to the Father and of course it'll get back to your missus-to-be eventually which she will LOVE.

Do it! Bunch of bloody metrosexuals writing threads like these 😆 🙄

Anyway, how about asking him permission to kick...

Ah my taxi's here


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 10:56 pm
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this has probably been said, becaiuese I haven;t rad the posts.

I think you shoule maek the effort to drive up.

Thinsk about when you have a daughterr, would nt you like a nloke to make the feeort to ask you?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:04 pm
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Hubby asked my father for my hand in marriage ( after proposing to me me of course), he was delighted.

Just a lovely thing to do and I think a phone call is fine, considering the distance.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:18 pm
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A friend's boyfriend who knew her dad well and had been away on holiday with her fmaily and family-friends quite a lot just rang him up to ask when her dad was sailing round the north of Scotland.

If you don't know them so well it might be better to see them in person.

If i had a daughter i think i'd be really chuffed to be asked in person.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:19 pm
 hora
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sc-xc has been drinking?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:23 pm
 hora
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Jesus after 6months of going out with my GF I asked her father if I could take her on holiday- he gruffly agreed but I know it meant something to him. She was her fathers little girl


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:24 pm
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I decided to pop the question as a spur of the moment thing while on holiday in Venice. I thought I'd do the right thing and ask the future father in law first (we get on very well, btw). So I called him and asked - he was very touched but my mother in law got the wrong end of the stick and thought we were actually getting married in Venice. A bit of confusion but all good fun!


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:24 pm
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Bunnyhop - what if your father had been asked BEFORE you?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:25 pm
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druidh - and your point is?

I don't know you, but you slightly come across as 'enjoying being single'.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:36 pm
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BH - sorry to disappoint you, but I'm already married.

I was merely asking whether or not you would have been happy that your father was made aware of the news before you were?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:40 pm
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I thought asking permission before was the way, not after proposing to the girl?


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:46 pm
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Wouldn't have bothered me.
We were abroad at the time and it wasn't possible to visit my father.


 
Posted : 06/03/2009 11:48 pm
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Hah! you want to try it when you have got the apple of his eye up the duff!


 
Posted : 07/03/2009 9:27 am
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LUXURY!

I had to ask the father-in-law-to-be, who's a very big (6ft 3) Spanish man who speaks no English and has a huge booming voice.

but he said yes I could have her, which I have o remind the wife-to-be of now and then!

...does anyone want to by a couple of Donkeys?


 
Posted : 07/03/2009 9:35 am
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Lol @ Mr.Nutt.
Is Mrs Nutt happy about the way this was phrased? 'Icould have her'.

MY father begged' take her, just take her away'.


 
Posted : 07/03/2009 9:48 am
 hora
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[i]who's a very big (6ft 3) Spanish man who speaks no English and has a huge booming voice.[/i]

Was he a Lord that Blackadder beheaded in Blackadder the 2nd by any chance and the Queen wanted reprieving?


 
Posted : 07/03/2009 11:05 am
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Anyone who says who cares has no regard for tradition.

I have absolutely no regard for traditions that treat women as possessions to be talked about over their head. Will your GF be upset that you are tacitly endorsing that kind of attitude? Mine would have been!


 
Posted : 07/03/2009 12:09 pm
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