[Closed] Ashes 2013

garbage from KP.

Figjam...

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Commeth the hour......

KP to easy to frustrate, if the selectors have any balls or another batsman he will not be playing at the MCG, time to give Root, Carberry, Stokes to have some chances. Bell is doing OK and will see how today goes but probably the one player I wouldn't drop. Cook helped it get going but the pressure seemed to be telling and the game plan went out the window. I'd like to have seen them bat first, might have helped a little.

Whatever happens with the bat they need to lay into them hard in the second innings and try and put some pressure on them.

Edit Sustained pressure and not cop out when it's going well

Woeful from Engerland this morning, just woeful 😆 8)

Yep, not pretty.... And certainly not good enough. Not may wickets taken, and too many given away.

I watched the first over today and went for a ride, wondered how many Englishmen would be left to bat when I came in, was expecting at least 1 or 2 really. Even if we knock them over for 50 this game and series is gone.

Knocking them over for 50 may be difficult - Swanny clearly injured his spinning finger, and Broad's off the field after taking that MJ yorker on his toe.

What's the punchy bogan whinging about now?

There is a comment on the BBC site that sums things up for me.

Never in all my years has the urn been tossed away so tamely with some of the most diabolical, spineless and idiotic cricket ever witnessed in an Ashes series. Words fail me.

I'm not sure I have anything else to say.

Agreed.

At least in the bad old days England were actually crap. Here, they're a good team playing appallingly, which is a lot more annoying.

And swan is off for an xray I reckon a 400 run chase and out for 150 thought there was a bit of batting form coming through but that was an illusion

More dross. England have fielded appallingly this series.

I was there yesterday and you could sense a growing frustration amongst the Aussies and the crowd as it looked although England were going to tough it out and stay on the wicket for a while. Even KP took his time getting some runs on the board and seemed to deflate Johnson for a while, he gave it away too easily in the end though.

From what I saw of today on tv it looked as though England had already thought they'd lost the ashes, seems to be a different mindset. I can't see them winning this one.

Maybe they'll let loose a bit more in the next 2 tests and show how they won the last series...

It's gone now. If Bell and the next 2 had hung around and made their average or a little bit more along with a normal contribution from the tail then their score would have been matched.
I'll not bother checking the scores for the rest of the winter, not because I'm fair weather fan (not after enduring the dark days of Atherton rolling his eyes and looking to the sky) but if they can't be bothered to engage their brains and put a bit of effort in then neither can I.
It's not as if australia are a great team, most are ashes losers, they are average but giving it 110% they wouldn't last 5min against SA or their own side of 10 years ago. Against an England giving 110% they wouldn't be leading the series either.
You can't keep winning the ashes forever but I see this as another 2006/7 blip as hopefully changes will be made to the set-up to make the side perform to their potential, they used to have a knack of playing themselves out of trouble but that's gone. There's a lot of talent there but it' s not showing itself.
6/10 can do better. Must try harder. Prone to chatter and is easily distracted.

6/10?

After watching today's abject display, I'd have said -6/10 would be closer

Its hard to mark england as Boycs notes they have lost to a fairly average team
the batters have just not stepped up to the plate for every single innings and have let everyone down with their performances

The aussies have wobbled in the middle order but batters have stepped in and stopped the slide. England wickets tumble all the time in short bursts

Very very poor. Players need to be dropped IMHO as if you dont perform you dont play. they have not lost their form but they may have lost their drive or work rate???

Players need to be dropped
Captains need to step down
Management and back room staff need to be replaced

The one thing I expect from my test team is a set of bollocks each. I hope we lose 5-0, we deserve nothing less.

Its hard to mark england as Boycs notes they have lost to a fairly average team
the batters have just not stepped up to the plate for every single innings and have let everyone down with their performances

+1

Credit to Australia but very poor from pretty much every batsman.

To win tests you have to score more runs than the opposition and (99.9% of the time) take twenty wickets. England do not look like doing either. Wonder if some dodgy bookmaker can offer Clarke a few quid to do a 'Hansie' and give us a consolation victory.

Seriously though, the batting has been gash, the bowling mediocre and the catching shit. England are getting a well-deserved thrashing. The really disappointing thing is the quality of the opposition that we are being humped by. Steve Smith looks like a kid who has only just been told about keeping a high front elbow. He is manifestly not a test quality batsman, but seems to be able to score centuries against England. Watson is not a test quality batsman either.

Johnson has bowled spectacularly, but not actually very accurately or with much movement. He has been allowed to bowl short shit or bust spells because England have not put any pressure on the bowling side. He has been quite similar to how Devon Malcolm used to be. If wickets are falling anyway, he could just blow sides away. Any sort of resistance and he started to look like an expensive luxury. Johnson is also very capable with the bat and can field. Two things that big Dev couldn't!

Anyway. I firmly believe England swaggered off to aus believing in their own bullshit. We have been rightly hammered. This is now starting to look like a mid 90s debacle with people going home, injuries left right and centre and the cricket equivalent of a massacre.

I think winning the last two tests may be counter-productive as it might partially redeem some players who need to be axed.

All that is missing is a bi-plane flying over the ground with a champagne swigging Cook grinning to the crowds...our lot obviously seem to think they are winning for some reason. Has anybody actually told them they're being stuffed?

Botham in for Stokes
Me in for Prior (I couldn't play any worse than him)
Broad's dad in for Broad (or his mum)
A small white duck called Bert in for Swann.

Now let's play some cricket.

Actually Swann's old man could be in for him. Probably the best amateur batsman in England at one stage, but if you think KP is egotistical(!)

Anyhow, what is going on down there is not good. If this had been the Aussie side of the 90s and early noughties we would be looking at three day tests.

Are we ready?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-16/england-looking-for-fighting-spirit-to-eke-out-waca-draw/5158310?section=sport

For balance it's the ABC version..

Paceman Stuart Broad, who is nursing a foot injury and might not even bat in England's second dig, backed his team-mates to put in another Herculean effort to secure a draw in Perth.

"We've had numerous Tests over the past four years that we've managed to save when we've had no right to save," Broad said.

"If these cracks keep widening, then it's going to be very hard to bat on, and a little bit scary," Rogers said.

"It's hard to remember cracks like this.

"Maybe when I started (my career in Perth), there were a couple of pitches that were like this, and it got a bit nasty.

The only way this can end in a draw is if Clark falls asleep and forgets to declare

I've been talking to people at work who seem to share the view that we had when we wiped the floor with India at home a couple of years back. Total bafflement at England's abject performance and disappointment at the lack of a contest.

EDIT: From that ABC article:

But England is refusing to wave the white flag just yet.

WTFF? They started waving it when they let Johnson and Haddin get away in the first innings at the Gabba, and haven't really stopped waving it since.

Well, this is going as well as ever...

It just got worse, bad over for Swann, perhaps England would do better fielding in the stands

Just 22 off that over 🙄

When you consistently present a team with a lead of nearly 200, they can afford to play like it's a T20

Wow! A wicket!

On the plus side, that's "house" on Boycott Bingo, with the words "uncovered pitches" uttered.

at last something to laugh about, goodbye Watson

I almost feel sorry for you guys, I truly do (almost) 😆 8)

Brutal batting this morning, great to watch! And now it's time for some brutal bowling as well!

It's Over

Oh dear, this has started well!

Looking back to the [url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006-07_Ashes_series ]last 5-0[/url] and this one is looking worse, at least they managed some big scores in that series. What is interesting is to see who still stands from that squad.
Cook, Bell, Pietersen, Panesar & Anderson. Is there any chance they can pull something out to avoid being whitewashed twice?

Lunch - some respite at last. Time to put the finishing touches on constructing the next innovative batting collapse.

No words!

To be honest all we need are 5 centuries and the extras should take care of the change needed. It's about time some of these guys hit 3 figures

Remember the cake sent in to TMS over the summer with the lion taking the 'roo from behind? Well can someone who's good with Photoshop pop a roo on this taking cook from behind??

[img] [/img]

Found it

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]This one was from the Lions tour...

I thought they would keep it 1 down until tea but just as ABC Radio were complementing them for digging in....

Well, looks like sportsbet bet on the wrong sport

Could someone please make this nightmare go away?

Still, not long until another dismantling to commence on Boxing Day...

Dismantling's not quite the word - it implies systematic deconstruction. This seems more like the tools being used consist mostly of trinitrotoluene.