[Closed] A) Wtf is it? B) Htf did it get onto my car and C) should I move it, and where?!

Looks like a hawk moth caterpillar.

They're quite rare, find it the right tree to eat.

Yes, hawkmoth caterpillar. Eats rosebay willow herb if I remember (pink flowering plant). Grows into an awesome moth, if you're into that sort of thing. You could go put it on some food.

Ok. Rehomed, ta. Think it's um....not alive. 😐 ..or hopefully in the middle of some transformation. Top of a hot Vauxhall not the best choice though.

They're quite animated when threatened. I have a video of one I found and 'antagonised' until it performed its impression of a snake. I'll dig it out and upload it on YT for your perusal - it's amusing if nothing else.

Sadly, although the whole snake thing is supposed to protect it, the poor sod I filmed was snatched by a bird the second my back was turned. Couldn't help feel bad as I delayed its journey and was probably solely responsible for its demise...

Here ya go...

and the snake impression...

RIP, weird beast.

My guess is an Elephant Hawk moth. Beautiful creatures, they love honeysuckle, we've had a few in the garden this year. Not a particularly rare moth think their numbers are quite healthy. As mentioned one of the caterpillars food plants is the Willowherb which is quite common.

they love honeysuckle

I wonder whether or not it's a coincidence they are a similar colour to the flower. Are they so coloured because they chow down on the stuff or are they attracted to it because it reflects their own hues...

yup elephant hawk moth... we had one in the garden the other week...
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Slake Moth larvae. 😯

They're quite animated when threatened.

That makes me a bit sad as this fella wasn't animated. I was parked alongside my allotment, and there he was, just perched in a ridge on the car roof. Sun was out too. 🙁

I covered him with a few leaves whilst posting here/googling, then moved him to somewhere in cover, in the vague hope he was about to turn into a 3ft moth, rather than just fried.

Question for me is how the hell he got there; only guess is dropped by a bird.

EDIT: Mine did not move in any way like Teasel's video when I moved him. 🙁

I found one a week or so ago blithely marching across the path as I was walking home, and it's a cycle path too!
It did get a little animated as I was trying to find somewhere safe to put it, snapping from side to side.
They will feed on fushia as well, which is convenient because that was all I could find in the cultivated strip the other side of the fence. Perhaps it had got bored with fushias and was off to pastures new; sadly, that would have ultimately involved becoming geography as it tried to cross a busy main road...
It's quite possible that bearnecessities caterpillar was entering the pupa state, and had picked the wrong place.
Stunning moths when they hatch, though, possibly one of our most beautiful.

That's strange I came in here to start a thread as I rescued one of these from the cats earlier and wondered what it was.

Or you could do what I did when I was five or six and keep it in a ice cream tub in the bathroom until it becomes a chrysalis and then get attacked one morning by a sparrow-sized creature.

On my iPhone screen the first picture honestly looked like someone has laid a giant turd on your roof.

Anyway, those vids are kinda fascinating and super creepy! What a cool creature. Poo like or not.

That makes me a bit sad as this fella wasn't animated.

Shame.

This video suggests they remain quite active even when transforming so likely it was dead...