OK. HERE GOES.
OUT OF THE LAST THREE TIMES I'VE HAD SEX WITH THE GIRLFRIEND I'VE ONLY 'PERFORMED' ONCE. THAT IS, I'VE FINISHED, SO TO SPEAK.
IT ISN'T THAT I CANT GET IT UP. IT ISN'T THAT I DON'T WANT SEX. I CAN HARDLY KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF WITH HER. I STILL FIND HER [u]VERY[/u] ATTRACTIVE.
MY PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN IT TURNS INTO A MARRATHON ROMP I GET OVER EXCITED. TOO MUCH FLASHES THROUGH MY HEAD AND I ALMOST LOSE TRACK OF WHAT I'M DOING, SO TO SPEAK. AND WHEN WE DO HAVE THESE MARATHON SESSIONS I END UP BEING ALMOST TOO HARD ON HER IN ORDER TO FINISH MYSELF OFF.
LAST NIGHT FOR INSTANCE; EVERYTHING GOING WELL, 'SATISFIED' HER SEVERAL TIMES OVER. REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN MORE THAN ONCE BUT SADLY I RETURNED, THAT IS I DIDN'T JUMP SHIP/DEPLOY.
HELP. PLEASE.
If you're hoping for a sensible response, you're about to be very disappointed.
SWITCH YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY TO 'OFF', and you might find things calm down a bit....
Too late, we saw it!
LOL, this should be good
Thread of the week, I predict.
Also,
[Tannoy]
[b]FATSIMON TO THE FORUM, PLEASE. I REPEAT, FATSIMON TO THE FORUM, PLEASE[/b]
[/Tannoy]
DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE RE. THE DISAPPEARING TEXT. EDITED IT AND COCKED UP SOMEWHERE.
BACK NOW THOUGH.
*Pulls up chair...*
Coffee?
tea?
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Pictures?
ITS BECAUE YOU'RE TOO BIG, OBVIOUSLY.
Try a size smaller...
WTF?
Cup of Rosy please, Teeto.
Got any biscuits?
biscuits!
not had any biscuits in ages!
alpin - Member
biscuits!
At least we know they won't be soggy ones.
Oh yes....
Work has been sooooo slow today...!
I think that you might regret this.
[img] http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_BKPQeFTrb40/R0oIFZNcbsI/AAAAAAAAAIY/qmazwwAW1x4/s200/Des%2BBrowne%2B-%2BSwiss%2BTony.jp g" target="_blank">
you're not taking antidepressants are you ? This is a common side effect...
radler, if you're having problems with release, try thinking of Brad Pitt at the important moment.
Beat me to it Ian, so to speak.
Red wine, anybody? St Emillion (sp?) ready 🙂
Define marathon?
There are so many beverages to choose from i have almost forgotten about the OP!
Over a minute.
Or is that just me?
Twirly for red wine, Hairy.
Woon't mind a little steak and kidney pie, if there's any about.
I've had the same problem,
3 solutions,
1, go till you'r knackered and accept the inevitable blue balls in the morning
2, get her to do more of the work (once im worn out it tends to be 'worse')
3, play buckaroo (call her her sisters/best friends name and see how long you can hold on)
That and console yourself that some people apparently have the opposite problem!
Ah, buckaroo, the sport of kings when a young boulevardier!
Define Marathon ... longer or shorter than 2 minutes?
This is going to be a long hard thread
Pulls up bed.......
Damn, I had so much work to do this afternoon.
[scrape]Pulls up chair[/scrape]
3, play buckaroo (call her her sisters/best friends name and see how long you can hold on)
Class, pure class.
Dirty Sanchez anyone?
Think of it as when you cross the line before her you win. And she's a big, useless loser.
Of course, you wouldn't want to be the loser, would you now?
Try the back door
You are expecting rather a lot from this "sex" thing, aren't you?
As I understand it, the purpose of the exercise is to satisfy mrsradler. This involves buying her something very expensive, probably giving her a massage and then lavishing as much attention on her as she needs to have fun. She will then say something about you being inconsiderate, and go to sleep. You dry-humping her long after she's finished and got bored in a bid to achieve ejaculation yourself will only irritate her, and make you feel silly.
Cuddle her for a bit, then when she dozes off go on the internet and look at something implausible involving women with no pubic hair, some dogs and a chinese gentleman while massaging assos chamois cream into your scrotum.
BD - Class!
BD, you speak from experience?
that or you are a very twisted man. lawyer, aren't you?
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I had this same problem with my ex, however she drank too much, smoked and generally became a bit of a minger, so i started thinking about riding during bedtime antics.
Now this is all well and good, the rare chance of me being able to multi task, think about riding whilst satisfying her is a talent is was very proud of......however, she became convinced i still fancied her and the demand grew.....
But seriously, you've found what makes her tick so to speak and you play on this, which is great for her and your ego, but it becomes an obsession to keep satisfying her again and again, you've stopped doing it for you and don't want to finish it for her...
Now there various things you can do to make you finish.
1, think of someone else, as wrong as it is the excitement will get help, she's been doing the same.
2, Don't be affraid not to be able to perform again after blowing ya load, have a cuppa/fag/bleed yer brakes then go at it again, that way you popped you sauce and the rest of the session is all for her, without your fear of not being able to finish.
3, Use non contact foreplay, you can touch anywhere but the those special places...do this for as long as you can handle then let go, the build up will be beyond control..
4, You maybe in denial and really want a man, try it!
We used to have a user on here to help out with these things, But Agony aunt is all loved up and doesn't come on here no more..
I am both a lawyer and a very twisted man. However, I am also a walking psycho-sexual catastrophe of Woody Allen-like proportions. 🙂
You’re obviously GAY!
BigDummy - MemberI am both a lawyer and a very twisted man. However, I am also a walking psycho-sexual catastrophe of Woody Allen-like proportions.
Night riding takes on a whole new perspective with you BD 😆 PMSL!
Whereas Im just a twisted-man and hopefully a layer 8)
Also
[Tannoy} [b]Houns to the Forum, I repeat Houns to the Forum[/b][/Tannoy]
😀
Biscuit and some Redbush Tea please
finger up ya bum?
[i]finger up ya bum?
[/i]
Not recommended for people with piles.
ah, Alpin, ever the practical man. Good idea.
Men can't really win, can we?
It's either "Oh, already?"
or
"Aren't you finished yet?"
with nothing in between. Women, eh?
Where is the problem?
Three! Is the magic number......
Wife and girlfriend again, Shane? 😉
Have you tried going out on your bike instead?
zokes - MemberWife and girlfriend again, Shane?
Nah! - I reckon dogging is the future.... 😀
Have you tried going out on your bike instead?
Or he could just ride it in doors?
Have you tried going out on your bike instead?
[url= http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1567410/Man-who-had-sex-with-bike-in-court.html ]That can go even more wrong...[/url]
He can remember the last 3 times? Lucky bastard
Have you tried going out on your bike instead?
That can go even more wrong...
I can see another thread starting... "Which bike to have sex with?"
I think I'm going to be sick.......
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NOT GAY.
NO ANTI-DEPRESSENTS.
FINGER IN BUM ONCE.
NO BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN - SEE 1ST POINT.
BUCKEROO NOT AN OPTION. OLD JOKE, TOO.
MARATHON = HOUR PLUS. WHEN IT GETS REAL HOT AND SWEATY AND YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE SHEETS AFTERWARDS BECAUSE THEY'RE WET AND STICK TO YOUR BACK.
---------------------------------------
SHE DID CATCH ME LOOKING AT NICE NAKED LADIES THE OTHER DAY. DON'T KNOW IF THAT ROCKED MY HEAD A BIT. NOT REALLY INTO TWISTED PORN ALA BIGDUMMY. JUST ASTHETIC LOOKING LADIES.
THING IS SHE WANTS ME TO FINISH TOO BUT, AS TIME GOES ON THINGS GET 'SORE'.
I FIND IT A LOT EASIER TO FINISH WHEN I'M INSIDE HER HEAD. MIGHT BE A MENTAL THING. TROUBLE IS, SHE ISN'T (UNDERSTANDABLY) ALWAYS UP FOR IT.
genius
INSIDE HER HEAD
Physically or meta-physically?
Get rid of the f&5!;ing CAPS LOCK
Get the doc to put a couple of stitches in her.
SEE A DOCTOR NOT A WEB FORUM - AMUSING AS IT IS - SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP (IT MAY BE SOMETHING MORE SUBLIMIABLE) AND GET THAT BLOODY CAPS LOCK OFF!
guitarmanjon - MemberHave you tried going out on your bike instead?
That can go even more wrong...I can see another thread starting... "Which bike to have sex with?"
One with oversized tubing.
Alpin has hit the button, so to speak!!
An old hooker's trick to move clients along if they were taking a little too long.
Just make sure she removes her bling rings and trims her nails - embarrassing in casualty otherwise.
get her to take up Kegel exercises?
Beware, with Alpin, a finger would only be the start of it....
get her to take up Kegel exercises?
<chants>Stitches stitches stitches.
I've come to the conclusion that this thread is basically about showing off. I read an article the other day, written by someone who'd got so bored of sex they'd taken a 12-month vow of chastity. Now we have someone who has hour-long sex sessions requiring a change of sheets, not once, not once a year, but so often its a problem and a girlfriend who complains that the sex lasts too long.
Next up, the man who's wife is bored of the body-wracking orgasms that his dextrous love-making subjects her to on a daily basis. 🙂
I think he'd enjoy some tighter Easton tubing.
I FIND IT A LOT EASIER TO FINISH WHEN I'M INSIDE HER HEAD. MIGHT BE A MENTAL THING. TROUBLE IS, SHE ISN'T (UNDERSTANDABLY) ALWAYS UP FOR IT.
Ear sex has never done it for me...
Your thinking about it too much!
Just switch off the thoughts and go with the flow, having sex WITH someone is better having sex for someone.
If it's getting sore, it's cause she's lost interest/frustrated...try more foreplay, use toys, bondage, etc....It's not all about penetration.
Seems you know more how to satisfy her than yourself, try new stuff and see what turns you on properly..you're in a samo samo rut and need some variation..
Oh and try slowing down and be more sensual, don't rush to make her cum as it just puts more pressure on you. put on some soft tunes and not trash metal, something that will chill out your rhythmn.
Film yourselves at it or in front of a mirror.
Would you like one of my flicker book tutorials?
It's always best if you are as quick as possible and shout "YAY I WIN AGAIN" at the end.
duckman, what makes you think that?
What a load of coc....
Oh.
does he not read the replies about the caps lock?!
Maybe if you opened up the valve and re-inflated your "gf" to the correct pressure you would get more sensation?????
Alpin, just wild internet speculation...Oh and your website, least I think it is you under the gasmask and funnel...
Is Alpin the next Max Mosley?
You heard it here first...
Are you really sure shes that good looking, theres the saying that you dont need to look at the mantlepiece while poking the fire..
I think it could be a double bag situation... you wear one as well in case hers comes off. 😉
BigDummy - you read that blasted Graun article as well then? I know it was in the weekend 'magazine' but really, I thought it was utter drivel. 'look at me, I had so much s€x that I decided to stop for a year and better yet - I decided to tell you all about it!!'. One wonders just how much public approval the writer needs to get through her day to day life...
And people, please stop poking the troll, otherwise it'll keep pestering us.