Forum menu
So the OHs sister in law and husband have started to go what we think, slightly over the top recently. She has been suffering from a range of issues that Drs have said are all in her head.
Her two kids, (3 and 7) have now been banned from owning, watching, seeing or reading anything that could be magical, construed to be 'not-real'. They are super religious and believe they have let the devil in to their house and she is now being punished, in the form of medical problems. Came to a head today as they said the youngest cannot hold a 'flower wand' at our upcoming wedding when she is a flower girl. The wand has a heart on top (which apparently they are not allowed to have), OH is a bit angry as already paid for, and just thinks it bonkers.
Now, if you're still reading, my question is, what form/brand of Christianity are they? I would ask them but they get offended incredibly easily and are VERY preachy. Why would they not be allowed hearts or anything slightly magical?
9 pages and 5 packets of biscuits...
Oh, and is she called Louise?
2 flounces and one banning?
haha, not a Louise. It is a genuine question and I am just really intrigued about their behaviour and views, but do not want to get in to a debate with them about it, as it won't end well.
Is the earth flat, ask her that.
Or
/aliens1-5ad5062f3037130037462d1c.jpg)
Its very difficult to distinguish clinically extreme religion and mental illnesses
Sounds to me like one of those extreme "Christian" cults
Why would they not be allowed hearts or anything slightly magical
Because people have different values.
Would you give your child a model penis to play with? A toy gun etc...
Its very difficult to distinguish clinically extreme religion and mental illnesses
Joking aside I was going to comment something like this. I wonder for the impact and safety of the Children but am unsure what to suggest as a potential intervention, I'm sure more educated people will be along to assist. Good luck.
Some form of evangelical Christian aka happy-clappy god botherers. May have an American head office or pastor. Ask them where they stand on speaking in tongues ( not the Arcade Fire song) Some of my family went that way- bit mad tbh. No offence but those elements of my family were a bit gullible/ soft headed)
have now been banned from owning, watching, seeing or reading anything that could be magical,
My MiL won’t watch things like Harry Potter and warns my kids about Halloween for some weird reasons. No idea which type of Christian she is, but she is and always has been, completely mad and quite difficult for my wife to deal with a lot of the time. (The MiL was working as a missionary in Nairobi when I first met my wife. The MiL wouldn’t come to our wedding because it wasn’t in a church. She almost didn’t go to her father’s funeral because she hadn’t received an invitation! I could go on and on..)
It really is impacting upon her mental and physical health, and now thinking she has let the devil in, it is making it worse. She has been hospitalised 3 or 4 times in the last month. She took a huge amount of toys and clothing down to the charity shop over Christmas as it could be seen to have things that god/devil may like not approve of etc.
"OH sister in law and husband "... so the husband is your wife's brother ??
whatever.... OH sounds bridezilla .... what's more important the little girl being there or a plastic heart ??
Good luck
It's their beliefs and you're not allowed to question beliefs on this forum or you get a ban.
Smile, humour them and move on.
what form/brand of Christianity are they?
Why don't you ask them?
Sounds like JW to me.
It’ll take the kids decades to break free from that crap
My partner grew up in an evangelical, born again family, not quite as extreme as the OPs description but not far off. It can be very selective, cultish, local "preachers" or family members can set the tone for what is accepted. Illness and misfortune can be seen as punishment. Prayer is often seen as only way to heal etc.....
Its very insidious and can leave kids affected deeply as they either absorb the beliefs or find it very hard to break away.
OH sister in law and husband “… so the husband is your wife’s brother ??
Probably not seeing as a wedding is mentioned in the same post? Unless getting married twice is now a thing.
Would you give your child a model penis to play with? A toy gun etc…
I count myself as very lucky - as a boy my parents gave me a penis shaped gun
“OH sister in law and husband “… so the husband is your wife’s brother ??
I was trying to work that out too, glad it's not just me being dim.
TBH if it were me and that sort of tenuous "family" relationship I'd just down communications and get on with my life. Might as well argue with brexiters, it's like playing chess with a pigeon.
I count myself as very lucky – as a boy my parents gave me a penis shaped gun
Careful it doesn't go off half-cocked.
I didn't know my wife was a God botherer until I fell for her. She had strayed from the flock and I found her family were/are super religious.
Been together 13 years and its only then last 3 that jesus has made a big return to her life. Now its jesus fm on the radio and church twice a week. My kids are being indoctrinated by my wife and inlaws and extended family. I'm shot down if I tell my kids what I think. Feel your pain.
My wife's uncle wouldn't let his kids watch sabrina the teenage witch, Harry Potter etc. All because they were satanic.
My brother in law (uncle jesus) sprouts crap on fb about abortion being satanic and has stated, when asked that if his 11 year old daughter got pregnant as a result of rape he would force her to keep it. Mind blown.
Feel your pain.
In my house my 5 year old gets reminded not to say "oh my god" by the wife but can shout "turd egg" at his brother.....
Kerley, I spat my coffee out at that!
Sorry, so my OHs brother is married to the person in question.
my parents gave me a penis shaped gun
Was it for shooting or was it for fun?
Just tell me you called it Charlene.
been banned from owning, watching, seeing or reading anything that could be magical, construed to be ‘not-real’
What, like God, Jesus and the bible??
Just tell me you called it Charlene
Dick, surely?
TBH if it were me and that sort of tenuous “family” relationship I’d just down communications and get on with my life.
Why wouldn't you just respect their beliefs and agree with everything they say?
Serious answer. If she has been hospitalised with mental health issues that much recently then I would be reasonably confident that they will be on social work radar and CPNs might well be involved as well. They should take charge of any safeguarding issues.
Childrens services are in as poor a state as other parts of health and social care and daft tho it may sound kids are often better with a far from perfect family than in care.
You can report to childrens services yourself if you really think the kids at risk. You can even do this anonymously I think. Your local council will have a phone number to do this.
You would however need specific concerns not just " they are over religious"
Olly - that's a bit crap! No-one has a right to force their beliefs (or lack of them) on to any other person and especially so when they have just suddenly decided to re-find that belief and try to make others change theirs.
No-one has a right to force their beliefs (or lack of them) on to any other person
Wrong!
Personally I would be pissed off with your misses for wanting a heart shaped flower wand.
From the medical intervention your OH SiL sounds like she is experiencing some mental health issues.
I would be more concerned about that than the religious thing now - as it is probably more the centre of her problem.
As what could be described as an evangelical Christian myself I think this is quite extreme behaviour.
The problem can be that some people can take what most would say are reasonable teachings in church too far, reading into things too much. I’ve seen people act in really strange ways which aren’t what the wider congregation do or believe. Unfortunately some people like to take some things to extremes, there can be many reasons for it and it’s hard to find the root cause and challenge extreme behaviours, even if you know those people well. In our church we beleive very much in good relationships between people so we can look out for each other and support each other, and non churchgoers, in our daily live. An attitude like the person in the OP would be challenged and discussed to make sure the person was being balanced in what they believed.
It could be an extreme church they are attending, but thankfully those institutions are rare.
In our church things are fairly balanced, we are advised to avoid extreme drinking/drugs etc but really in the same way that a doctor would do! As far as Halloween goes our pastor actually said last year that the congregation shouldn’t remove themselves from it and should use it to meet people in their street and be part of the community. We should use wisdom to not watch or consume things which might be bad for our mind or body - not holding something pretty like a stick with a heart on it is very weird.
And the worrying thing is, these people are walking among us.
If I were to build a shrine to the fairies at the bottom of my garden (assuming I had one) or started to **** over car doors because that it what I believed in I would be classed a loon or possibly sectioned.
What's a flower wand ?
What’s a flower wand ?
Go on, I bet you can work it out if you had to.
They are only distantly connected to you. The wand thing may be annoying, but there's nothing you can do so you might as well just shrug and move on. You're not going to persuade them to see the error of their ways or anything like that, so don't waste your time.
^ this. Just tweak the wand. It's just bent metal, make it into a different shape.
Okay, for folks of scientific persuasion or so called "rational" minds (can rationality covers for all contingencies?) just make it what you will.
Now, if you’re still reading, my question is, what form/brand of Christianity are they?
Could be orthodox or all of them since all religions will have the evil ones but I am just guessing based on my "research". i.e. you cannot have all the good without evils vice versa.
Why would they not be allowed hearts or anything slightly magical?
Depending on the association of the "invisible beings" with shape of the items but again but I am just guessing.
As far as I know based on my "research", again, the cause of such "invisible beings" can be around 20% which is not deadly on total health, but if it is a long term accumulation of the effect it will turn into something serious (real health problems etc) later on in life. If the person has already suffered from some health problems that 20% will exacerbate the situation and may turn serious.
Base on my "research" symptoms can come in various forms such as:
(Note that I assume the person has gone for medical check and come up as clear and healthy but do check first)
The following assume that the person has healthy diet with no serious health problems etc and no mental health gene in the family.
1. Constant recurring dreams or same dreams of the dead, baby or specific animals like snake (other animals too but must be constant).
2. Pain at certain parts of the body at certain time of the day. Pain can change or move around to different part of the body but medical checks come up as clear and healthy.
3. Agitation, short temper, panic attack, anxiety, extreme stress for no reasons. (some called this mental health and yes, it can cause mental health too).
4. Seeing dark or white shadows.
5. Look at the eyes of the person to see if there is a horizontal line across the eye(s). (may look like there is a cataract or just simply a line)
6. The feet felt like there is something inside the skin (a bit like half shoe sole insert inside the bottom of the feet)
7. Skin on body feels like there is something crawling.
8. Unknown bruise(s) appearing on body not due to knocks or etc.
9. White blood cells increasing for no reasons.
10. Unable to rest or sleep well.
Also check the history of the house and the land it built on.
Depending on people some or all of the above symptoms might have happened. The seriousness I am not sure. If they have all of them or majority of the symptoms then there is a likelihood something else is at play which science cannot explained.
Ask them for their reasons as there must be something logical that caused them to think in such a way. i.e. dream? Seen something? chemical hallucination in the environment?
Remedy(s) depends on their entire religious belief ...
What’s a flower wand ?
A daffodil sellotaped to a stick with a £30 price tag.
Got to say I might be a bit anti heart wands too - and I’m firmly in the god can shove it camp. Why can’t the the flower girls carry....well....flowers?
Just to check out the hypocrisy levels - are you and your other half on the god botherer spectrum at all yourselves and is your heart wand waving wedding in a church?
Do away with the "flower wand" and tell her "it's a stick with a heart on the end" instead.
Morrisey as a flower girl at a recent wedding...
As far as Halloween goes our pastor actually said last year that the congregation shouldn’t remove themselves from it
Don’t you think it’s odd that someone should feel the need to tell you that?
The OP's description sounds like most Christian or Muslim Africans; the churches and mosques exert a powerful control over less-educated people by filling their heads with superstitions. And yes, once indoctrinated it can take kids decades to rationalise these fears away and get on with a balanced life. I know; I was brought up a strict Catholic.