We've needed a new car for a couple of years, not two months, two bloody years I've been brining the topic up regularly and trying to get her to consider what we as a family will need from a new car...
Anyway, some friends of ours round the corner decided they needed a new car too the other day, they went out looking last weekend, and now have the one they chose on the drive, from identifying the need to purchasing a car inside of a week, that seems amazing to me when faced with the level of intransigence my missus has on this specific topic.
I asked her what it was she said "a Red one, it's name starts with an 'S'".
When she finally checked jer WhatsApp again it was a Nissan Qashqui...
This is just indicative of the level of interest she has when it comes to cars.
Two years, two bastard years! I've been on about the need for us to get a new car, when I pointed out how exasperating this was she just rolled her eyes. It's not a decision for me to take on my own, it's a family car we need I might end up driving it the most but I'm not the only user. Honestly I just can't cajole her into taking any interest in the topic, yet I can't get clearance to just go out and buy one without her input...
Then I went and struck a nerve by pointing out that over the same period she's managed to engage her brain and focus enough to purchase several holidays, spunking a fair amount of our joint income, which probably totted up to over twice what we want to spend on a car, a thing we actually need currently...
Does anyone else encounter this level of disinterest with big decision making from a spouse/partner? Is there any way around it?
Find a car you think is suitable, say on autotrader or something...show her the advert, get her to say ok to it.
Anything less than no = yes in this scenario!
Then go out and buy that model from there or somewhere else on your own?
Looks like this task has been parked for too long, you're going to have to take the driving seat in order to get things rolling!
Will it result in a legal process starting with a "D".... followed by --I--V--O--R--C--E ?
two bloody years I’ve been brining the topic up regularly
You'd think something would have pickled her fancy by now...
Just buy one. If you’d done that within a week 2 years ago, I’m sure the acute pain would be less than the ongoing misery you seem to have endured!
She’s trying to preserve the old one
Nah, she's just gherkin him around.
Given the lack of interest, I’d say it was up to you…so go and find one and get it sorted.
Nope, that approach has been firmly vitoed.
Find a car you think is suitable, say on autotrader or something…show her the advert, get her to say ok to it.
Tried it, all responses are non-committal or "we'll have a look sometime".
Will it result in a legal process starting with a “D”…. followed by –I–V–O–R–C–E ?
Could do, she is a bit funny about things like this, got annoyed with me for getting 0% CC a few weeks back specifically to cover work work expenses, mainly so I wouldn't have to abuse our joint account.
Thing is when our current ancient shitbox finally dies, me saying 'told you so' won't help at all. But that's where it's heading...
We’ve needed a new car for a couple of years
I suggest that if after two years you haven't yet bought a new car, then you haven't actually 'needed' one for those two years.
I'm on your wife's side.
You've managed to defer a potentially significant expense by two years so far.
.
Get a spare key made. Start leaving it in the ignition with the doors unlocked whenever you park it and Mrs C is unlikely to be using it.
Nope, that approach has been firmly vitoed.
I thought you were looking for a car not a van?
What peekay says.
Are you sure 'We've' isn't 'I've'?
Do you have a smart tv with the youtube app on it?
Set up a scenario where you are accidentally on purpose watching a review of the car you want...guage reaction...
Then a few week later, have this on the drive when she arrives home from work "supprise honey!" "it's the one you loved!" then quickly whisk her out for dinner somewhere.
How do you go about buying a new bike and sneaking that by her. Maybe you could use the same approach. Else the it was really cheap and you couldnt afford to miss out. I hope you have better luck buying bikes though if buying a car is this bad.
... got annoyed with me for getting 0% CC a few weeks back specifically to cover work work expenses, mainly so I wouldn’t have to abuse our joint account
I simply wouldn't accept that kind of control over what is essentially your financial interest.
Exit the joint account by setting up a new current account just for you and put money for bills and genuine family expenses only into the joint one.
Start by changing your missus; once done get the car you want - or can afford.
Can’t you just work out what size one you want and buy one? Aren’t most cars basically the same?
Yep. We wanted a bigger/higher car for better wading depth, more comfort and more room to put stuff in.
Decided to go and look at some a couple of weeks ago and bought one within half an hour.
Not sure that helps the OP though.
I suggest that if after two years you haven’t yet bought a new car, then you haven’t actually ‘needed’ one for those two years.
I’m on your wife’s side.
You’ve managed to defer a potentially significant expense by two years so far.
Good point, in order to be judge, jury and executioner, the forum will require:
- Make and model of current car
- Millage
- Age
- Condition
- Why it's otherwise unsuitable
Thems the rules!
I suggest that if after two years you haven’t yet bought a new car, then you haven’t actually ‘needed’ one for those two years.
I’m on your wife’s side.
You’ve managed to defer a potentially significant expense by two years so far.
Perhaps, and that is a point I've made a couple of times myself, post COVID it didn't seem such an issue TBF, as we didn't really need to go very far very often.
But the car is increasingly living up to it's French heritage, the last MOT cost £600 to get through, which is probably more than it's worth.
Surely the trick has to be getting shot of any car before it lets you down if it goes tits up while you're actually relying on it then you're snookered, and as we're a one car household there's no really margin for having an old car that's hanging on by a thread...
And she's not 'deferring an expense' she's just so bored by the topic she refuses to engage with it, but also refuses to let me just crack on and buy a car. She doesn't even drive the thing, I'm basically her chauffeur these days.
And she’s not ‘deferring an expense’ she’s just so bored by the topic she refuses to engage with it, but also refuses to let me just crack on and buy a car. She doesn’t even drive the thing, I’m basically her chauffeur these days.
£worth less than £600?... Be a real shame if your car was to suddenly develop a 'terminal fault' 😉
Thing is when our current ancient shitbox finally dies,
Will it though?
Our current ancient Fiesta is currently showing zero signs of actually stopping. Needs a bit of money spent every once in a while but not anywhere near "new car" money. In fact I think it's done about a decade since my OH first talked about replacing it. So that's at least 3 leases/HP's/whatever's that doing nothing has saved us.
But the car is increasingly living up to it’s French heritage, the last MOT cost £600 to get through, which is probably more than it’s worth.
Still only 2 monthly payments.
Last couple of years I think ours has cost:
£650 - cambelt and ancillaries
£150 - wheel bearing
£250 - tyres
£300 - new suspension strut
It just keeps soldiering on, if it gets through an MOT each January for less than a couple of finance payments on something new then as long as it makes it to March we're quid's in.
Surely the trick has to be getting shot of any car before it lets you down if it goes tits up while you’re actually relying on it then you’re snookered, and as we’re a one car household there’s no really margin for having an old car that’s hanging on by a thread…
But as demonstrated, you can go to a dealer and have something new on the drive by the end of the week.
Car's are phytologically weird, I've no intention of replacing my washing machine just because it's 10 years old, my freezers even older.
Given her level of interest in cars just buy one the same colour & she won’t even notice
Good point, in order to be judge, jury and executioner, the forum will require:
– Make and model of current car
– Millage
– Age
– Condition
– Why it’s otherwise unsuitable
Thems the rules!
C4 Picasso 5 seater (not the 'Grand' 7 seat version) 2.0 HDI with semi-auto box (yep that one)
125k miles (still on original Turbo somehow)
08 plate (16 years old)
Condition: rust on Several panels, dents galore, peeling lacquer, remote locking no longer working, one window motor gone, creaks from doors, clutch juddering when pulling away (remember it's a semi-auto). my money is on the clutch going before the Turbo, apparently the Turbos tend to go on these around 80k miles.
I know, I know, We should have gotten a Berlingo.
I'd happily have a Yaris, jazz or something sensibly small but We now need the same sort of boot space for transporting MIL's mobility scooter (and 5 full seats) for moving 2x teens, plus MIL...
the last MOT cost £600 to get through, which is probably more than it’s worth.
That’s a lot less than it will cost you to buy a new one though.
What’s actually wrong with it that it needs replacing, or do you just want a new one? If she’s that disinterested just tell her you’re going car shopping and come back with something that you want.
Oh god, the MIL. We had that issue when we changed my wife's Yaris for a Qashqai. MrsF made the mistake of telling her mum as we were buying it. As it was higher, whilst being ideal for me with a knackered back, MIL then said 'she'd cry as she wouldn't be able to get in it'. This was as we were buying it. FFS.
She did then think about what she had said then phoned back. The madness is we have another car, and MIL never went out in either of our cars anyway due to mobility.
Buy the car you want - Yaris's do have a decent boot !
One of my missus positives, we do seem pretty aligned on big purchases and make decisions quickly.
My uncle once bought a house without telling his wife because he knew she'd veto it.
Turned out ok eventually 🙂
two bloody years I’ve been brining the topic up
Have you considered just going and buying a car?
She cannot simultaneously be disinterested in a purchase and interested enough to be vetoing things unless you have Schrodinger's testicles.
Buy the car you want – Yaris’s do have a decent boot !
I don't doubt it, but it's not going to be big enough for the monster truck the MIL likes to ineptly trundle about shopping centres on, it pretty much fills the boot in our current MPV.
I'm thinking an estate would be a sensible compromise, but seating for 5 full sized humans is still going to be the main challenge, I'm certainly not cramming an octogenarian and two teenagers in the back of a Yaris.
Car’s are phytologically weird, I’ve no intention of replacing my washing machine just because it’s 10 years old, my freezers even older.
That is because if a white good breaks it just gets replaced as no point fixing it or maintaining it - it just works or it doesn't. Cars are not that straightforward and a lot more money is at stake in fixing it/likelihood of it needing more fixing versus getting newer one that doesn't need fixing.
One of my missus positives, we do seem pretty aligned on big purchases and make decisions quickly.
We normally do, it only seems to be this one thing.
Have you considered just going and buying a car?
She cannot simultaneously be disinterested in a purchase and interested enough to be vetoing things unless you have Schrodinger’s testicles.
Am I really that odd?
Do other blokes really just go out and spunk £10k+ on things without discussion/agreement with their other halves?
Or is this just 'keyboard masculinity' and you're all just as under the thumb as me?
We had a session of me choosing cars from Autotrader and showing Fun & Finance Control.
Then a day wandering around a couple of car supermarkets.
We then went to see the car I chose from the approved list and had a test drive.
Herself did the negotiation because it was Essex and it put the chap off his stride.
On the drive the following weekend. (I do managing managers as my workplace skill, herself does the finance).
Just cut the terminals off a few fuses and tell her you've taken it to a garage and it's borqed then get a red car.
Schrodinger’s testicles
😂
This is just indicative of the level of interest she has when it comes to cars.
I would say she's got her priorities right. After two years of you needing a car the current one is still running. Doesn't sound like it's that desperate a situation.
A car is a car is a car....
If anything, I would suggest it's you who has a problem. Not her.
Just keep the old one. However if red and S are a priority:
Do other blokes really just go out and spunk £10k+ on things without discussion/agreement with their other halves?
I never pool my finances, and never will... joint account for essential bills, sure, for utilites, mortgage, council tax etc.
Then our own money is our own money, so I just buy a car if i want one. Holidays are 50/50 etc. unless one is earning lots and the other not so much then the ratio is adjusted to something more fair.
I never pool my finances, and never will… joint account for essential bills, sure, for utilites, mortgage, council tax etc.
Then our own money is our own money, so I just buy a car if i want one
We do that too. But we (and I would vouch most people) don't have anywhere near enough in our own accounts after mortgage and bills to be able to buy a car solo (unless we were into bangernomics) .
Sounds like the car needs a catastrophic engine fault brought on by a bag of sugar in the fuel tank op.
