[Closed] Worst bike names

Guerciotti Khaybar. As sold by Planet X. Think there's a song lyric in there somewhere. Yeah thats it, "I want to take you to the Khaybar, the Khaybar"

Scott Purgatory - not exactly inspiring regardless of the history veins the name.

Checker Pig.

Or, back in the late 90s, as written on the stock label of a Saracen kids bike....

Girls 16" Pink Vibe.

Guerciotti Khaybar

Hadn't heard of that but I suspect you meant to post it in the "awesome bike names" thread?

😀

cotic bfe has to be up there aswell.

Hadn't heard of that but I suspect you meant to post it in the "awesome bike names" thread?

Guerciotti maybe, but not Khaybar. Great looking frame though.

Guerciotti maybe, but not Khaybar.

OK, maybe awesomely funny.

Just a few letters away, the Mongoose Khyber always made me think of Sid James and/or Cockney rhyming slang.

Most kona bikes.. especially my 'hei hei supreme' 😳

I always thought Stumpjumper was a bit lame. And the Muddy Fox Courier didn't seem very gnarr.

Anything that's just numbers is a poor name.

I always thought "[url= http://www.socom.mil/default.aspx ]socom[/url]" was a bit of a naff name for a bike.

Always thought my old GT I-Drive sounded odd when said all together ...Perhaps the GT I-Ride would have sounded betterer,well to me anyway........ 😕

Cove bikes - how can anyone who is not a teenage boy be happy being seen in public with 'handjob' on their bike?

EDIT: ..oh and Ghost bikes - sounds far too much like tempting fate!!

I have a sanderson soloist: being into guitars for a couple of years longer than bikes, it just makes me think of this:
[img] [/img]
Yes that is him out of Def Leppard and yes that's what his guitar is called too. 😳

'Epic' was a good name many years ago, but 'epic' to young ears sounds a bit lame now IMHO.

Although the few I have had a go on were great, err, 'rides', I'm not mad keen on cove names, you might as well call the next one 'onanist'. 'Pompino' means BJ in Italian by the way. But I think they know that.

Kona Stinky - rubbish name
but quite apt
because they were shit

Sportive racing. Just awful.

julianwilson awesome 80's hair metal pic there 😀
also 2nd cove for worst bike names ever 😕

When I used to race for Diamondback we had a full suss frame fro Mayhem that was called the XR8, why they thought to call their new bike a crate I'll never know?!

Why Intense name their flagship DH frames after motorways is beyond me...

Also, isn't 'Kona' the portugese word for our 'C' word?

tomhoward, if you say it out loud or spell it with a c then yes it is.

'Sram' is not spelt like, but sounds like an eastern european (polish and i forget where else too) slang word whose rough translation is 'todger'. 😆

Some of the Rose bikes names are pure kwality though. Jabba Wood anyone? 😀

Dunno about the worst, but this is certainly the best.

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

Rose have some classics.

Psycho Path
Jabba Wood
Uncle Jimbo
Thrill Hill

I'm sure they do one called Baggy Sue as well.

cove names it puts me off even looking at the bikes tbh

Cove +1

If your name is Kevin or Perry then fine...otherwise they're w@nk.

Apollo Letdown.

Universal No Worries (which also featured Blowout Technology according to a huge sticker on the frame - just what you want).

GB

Pronghorn has to be the shittest name for a bike company ever

Scott (drug) Addict

Mmmbop

[img] [/img]

Sanderson Breath. Nice bike, odd name.

I dislike Trance as well....and I own one.

my new hackbike is a Daewoo Raquel Trundle Wheel..

Apollo Creed 😆

I dislike Trance as well....and I own one.

Yeah, I always wondered why Giant picked "trance" and "anthem" for their short-travel FS bikes, perhaps they were listening to a lot of Dave Pearce CDs in the office?

I thought "Foxy" was a very silly name for a biek but it didn't stop me buying one.

I hope the name was inspired by BikerFox.

Company names?

BMC, obviously

Maybe you lot need to look to Jeff Jones for insperation.
All his bikes are just called a Jones.

Then again he doesn't realy go for the marketing BS. He just builds bikes. 😉

RD, pretty sure I've been to third base with the girl on the right...

Personally I think bikes that don't have 'names' but designations, Pace bikes spring to mind, are missing something somehow, as it really rams home that they are just a number.

Case in point (using cars). Which sounds sexier, the [Italian accent] Lamborghini Aventador [/Italian accent] or the [imagine the nerdiest person you know speaking] McLaren MP4-12C [/nerd voice]

singlespeedstu - Member

Maybe you lot need to look to Jeff Jones for insperation.
All his bikes are just called a Jones.

Then again he doesn't realy go for the marketing BS. He just builds bikes.

Not wanting to diss the man but
[img] [/img]

Sorry.

I see no marketing BS and buzz words there.
Does he claim any kind of 33.3%betterer type stuff? Does he claim it'll make you 29.75% faster if you buy one of his frames?
No. Just his name and what he tries to do.
Simple and to the point.

la pierre=the peter

How dare you all! Cove's names are the ORSUM!!!

YT Wicked - ffs get a grip !!!

I'm going to be brutaly honest here and name one of my own bikes as falling into the shite bike names catergory.
The Canfield Yelli Screamy. 🙄 Shite name WTF were the Canfield brothers thinking. Great bike though so i'm not realy bothered. 8)

Last Herb. Herb in itself is a stupid name for a bike, never mind Last. Though in my case, it's probably quite well named.

Rose need a thread all of their own. "The Duchess" "Crystal Stoke" "Dr Z" "Verdita Green" "Mr Ride" "Count Solo"- nb not a singlespeed.

Sadly they no longer do the Granite Chief. But what's really odd is, beside all the gibberish names are things called "Carbon Pro" "Pro RS" and other such generic boringness.

daznal - Member

la pierre=the [s]peter[/s] rock

[frog pedant] If it was peter it would be 'le' not 'la'.[/frog pedant] But it's actually just the dude's name: he's probably well old and dead as the brand's been around in one form or another for 50+ years iirc.

Anything by Cove! If you are over 14 they are just crap names I would rather an XTC or something non descript, I can't even look at Cove bikes as the names are so ridiculously childish.

Damn beaten by fellow froggy julian. Plus it would be lePierre 😉

juan, je l'ai googlé, et son prénom était Gaston. Oldskoooooool! 😀

Why did they choose the name Froggy? I thought it only meant something else in the Yookay. Will we see an On-one Rosbif and a Rose 'Jerry' too?

Will we see an On-one Rosbif

t, I can't even look at Cove bikes as the names are so ridiculously childish.

but then again so is being a grown up and riding a bike in the mud.

I think they're just fine. The cove names only seem to offend/upset those that are so far advanced into middle rage that they would never be target demographic for a hardcore bike like cove anyway so it's a kind of marketing natural selection 😆

[img] [/img]

Twohats, you're confused, that's an AWESOME name for a bike. You win the internet.

Apologies if this has already been put up - I did look, some funny names alright.

[b]KONA KIKAPU[/b] - who are they kidding? If you stick Deluxe or King beside it, just makes it worse.

Now, can you see inside the Kona dealer? Lines of Stinky Kikapu Deluxe?

Note: yes I do realise what it all means but it's still funny.

Twohats, wrong thread! 🙂

Is it a GFORCE Haddock or a Haddock GFORCE - either way its awesome

Apollo Letdown.

That is amazing! I hope it's replacement was just called the disappointment.

[i]I hope it's replacement was just called the disappointment[/i]

I think it was the "Well, it's never happened to me before"

Twohats - Thanks! You win forever.

Not bikes but tyres. From my youth I remember:

Nobby Skinwall & Ritchey Megabite, not sure if the 1st was a GT's own brand tyre?

Ellsworth names are awful - Truth, Epiphany, Dare, Evolve.
Sound like Christian adult education courses.

Saracen Sausage?? sorry savage....look at the graphics..all i can is sausage.......sorry that sounds sooo wrong
[img] http://www.bikes2udirect.com/B1033.html [/img]

+1 for the Mmmbop,non biking friends are usualy worried when they see that on my bike.

Is it a GFORCE Haddock or a Haddock GFORCE - either way its awesome

^ Truth. Although I like the Rock Lobster name too.

Anything by Cove makes me cringe, can't really think of many other names that make me think, "Why would you do that?"

Sintessi Bazooka

I don't care what you say, my mate rides a zesty and we always refer to it as 'the peter'. although he might prefer 'the rock' in a WWF (wrestling) styleee!

The haddock is truley awesome though.

Cove + 1.

How can anyone forget the Rose Beefcake?

Great looking bike but I just couldn't see me riding a beefcake somehow.