Forum menu
Most interesting things so far have been
A lady in her underwear posing on a motorbike having her picture taken.
A machine gun nest set up just outside an army camp we then also road into.
A pigeons carcass just falling out the sky almost landing on me.
Someone filming a music video top of winter hill
Underwear
Used tampon in a hedge was one delightful find when I stopped for a breather... I carried on
A religious cult on the pike
And coming off walna scar someone having a picnic in the middle of the path just after a corner. Managed to clear their sarnies with a hasty bunny hop.
Burnt out car
3-500gms Crystal Meth (about £30-£40k worth) in one of those boxes with big magnets, on the side of the road on a mountain pass in Idaho.
I thought I did well with £300 in small notes in an envelope wedged under the seat of a bench on the South Dorset Coastal path about 15 years ago.
I checked the local paper but nobody ever wrote in saying they'd lost it.
Forgot about slightly disconcerting things in trees......
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHQ7QdsXUAEkSC7?format=jpg&name=larg e" alt="." />
Nothing. Zero. Ziltch. Life is tame on the north Shropshire border.
A cut open safe under a bridge, a herd of red deer got up out of the bracken on Exmoor just as I got to them (quite scared). A badger running down the track while night riding. The hot breath of a large black dog on my leg while night riding. I later found out it was called mick.
Getting overtaken by a young badger while night riding at close quarters. Getting charged by three full sized ones charging up a track perpendicular to ours - my friend and I didn't stick around to find out more about that.
Trenching tools, SAS selection beating in the Beacons, LARPers on Holmbury hill (Gandalf swigging white lightning from a two litre bottle whilst smurking a faaag), and Damon Hill in our local at the end of a fancy dress night ride while on Halloween. He'd just started or got involved in a supercar fractional leasing thing nearby. He didn't seem entirely comfortable sharing the snug with muddy idiots with fake witches' noses.
Non-cycling one: delivering a Bene 60 from Cork to Hamble at about 3am. We were in the empty bit between Ireland and Cornwall, with only an offshore supply tender a ways off on the horizon, so a pretty lonely bit of water. I was on the wheel and saw a white strobe a few hundred yards of our track and headed towards it in case it was a MOB. It wasn't, and was probably an air or sea dropped weather or tidal buoy, but the ten minutes getting to it while trying to work out whether it was attached to a person, alive or drowned, was pretty bloody sobering.
A transvestite with a broken leg...
A transvestite with a broken leg…
If they’d have used a dildo as a splint you’d have won this thread. 🙂
Confederate artillery. Civil war enactment due for afternoon, but they had a wee skirmish in the morning. Had to sit out an interesting half hour between Redlegs and cannon.
Porridgepot, near Deepcut. This old lady and her dog had somehow tried ascending Watership Down and managed to roll her mobility scooter. We righted it and took a few photos. She was fantastically sweary too..."I suppose you'll be facking posting that on facking facebook once you get home!"
'Nope - mobile internet, it's already done'
An uncooked chicken sort of in it's packaging. On wookie woods at Stainburn.
See endless numbers of wallabies and roos ... but it is Australia here, so that's not so strange.
Snakes can be a a bit strange, even thought they're endemic. Especially the possible death adder i bunny hopped once - didn't look back to confirm, but it almost led to a brown snake!
Seen a few bouncing cars, some bouncing breasts and a 'pick-up' tray being used creatively.
Funniest was some of form of 'dummy' that I initially thought was a dead roo. When i got closer I discovered what the slogan "4x4ers do it in the dirt" really means!
This old lady and her dog had somehow tried ascending Watership Down and managed to roll her mobility scooter.
That picture is amazing. And it's crying out for a caption competition.
"Doreen's MTB skills courses had become a roaring success".
Saw what I thought was a body floating facedown in the river at C-y-B one winter’s morning. Was just beginning to panic but as we got closer it turned out to be someone in a dry suit and dive gear in about two feet of water. Can’t imagine what they were doing. Searching for gold?
Or maybe dildos, they seem quite widespread.
Two separate occasions, couple taking saucy photos in and around mugdock woods, one with her boobs pulled out over her top, they just said hello as I passed.
European family (only realised when I heard them talk, possibly german) walking stark naked at the top of Stank Glen in the Trossachs.
Dark forces at play in full robes, again in the middle of Mugdock woods.
Passed a parked car on a country lane with some fella giving himself a 'treat' :/
Today’s find was several large cannabis plants dumped on a local byway.
Pm sent.
surprising couples **** up against trees.
Isn't that what they wanted orthey'd be at home with the curtains shut? You're riding and doing a public service. Bravo!
What dam?
Asking for a friend.
2am night ride with a mate....A bunch of blokes around a grey van parked up next to Rutland water, with one guy laying on top of the van with what looked like an Accuracy International rifle pointing out into the water.
They look surprised, we looked even more surprised - we carried on pedaling as hard as we could.
Saw a guy hammer his sausage into a young lady in the back of a Vauxhall nova, in a lay-by in Nottingham.
Been a dry spell the last 26 years, not a sausage, or even a dildo.
Need to venture into Sheffield after lockdown. The peaks are clearly too respectable..
A single, knee-length, man-sized, stilleto-healed, leather boot. On a tree stump in the middle of some woods near Exeter.
When I see this, I imagine lots of blokes on Vespas, with L plates.
Golf buggy on a bridleway in Esholt woods, turned to have been stolen from a golf course a couple of miles away
Caught a couple at it in a parked car a few years back on a group night ride, we were waiting to regroup when we spotted them. One of the lads got a row for staring at them, argued back that he'd never even glanced in that direction but had totally forgotten his helmet light (ooh er) was still on full beam shining in their window!
almost got killing by a big round hay bale that fell off a tractor, came down a steep hill and whizzed past us out of a hedge.
That's what killed Mike Edwards from ELO.
Not sure if he owned a dildo.
I found a dead fella one frosty Tuesday Morning on a fireroad near Abercarn.
I found someone's hash stash near Biblins Bridge.
Large amount of porn in a bush next to a an old quarry pit on the downs.
Lady giving her partner oral pleasure in the backseat of their car at entrance to Lordswood. My front light lit the interior up nicely as I bumbled past 🙂
Significant amounts of flytipping (tossers)
Burnt out car X 2
Out walking:
A rave
A photoshoot
Empty dildo packet on a cliff in Malta
Doggers
Oh yeah, there was the time I came flying round a singletrack corner in some woods near Aldershot to find myself staring down the barrel of a machine gun. Some squaddies out training, one was on lookout presumably. He could have taken me straight out before I'd even realised. Mind you if there'd been a war on I'd have been a bit more stealthy myself.
I did see someone taking pics of a whimsically dressed young lady out in the woods once. The kind of picture that always makes me think 'WTF are you doing out here dressed like that?' I don't think the shoot was going well - both amateurs or possibly students, the model looked confused and embarrassed and the photographer looked annoyed. I don't think they were feeling it.
What I can only assume was a mole scarer, kind of metal trap found in a field I was riding through with two other Basque based STWers. I poked it with a stick and it went bang so loud it left us all with ringing ears. Turned out it fires a shotty into the soil when triggered- how that can be allowed a couple of meters from the trail I don’t know...
A 2.7rs 911 worth about £2.3million being photographed in a picturesque part of Surrey Hills for a magazine.
About 30 police cars and no idea how many coppers on a man hunt.
A Defender 110 abandoned minus most body panels, wheels and interior afew years ago more recently a Merc A class pretty much down to its shell in a makeshift chop shop, and a torch which I kept and still comes in handy at home.
Several raves, passed out guy across the trail who we thought was dead but just spiced out and let's follow Dave resulted in stumbling across Whipps Cross's fully staffed Sunday morning gentleman only glens. Glens is not a typo.
I did see someone taking pics of a whimsically dressed young lady out in the woods once. The kind of picture that always makes me think ‘WTF are you doing out here dressed like that?’ I don’t think the shoot was going well – both amateurs or possibly students, the model looked confused and embarrassed and the photographer looked annoyed. I don’t think they were feeling it.
You could have offered to feel it for them maybe.
Bonus points for marvellous use of the word 'whimsically"
A dead runner. Not one of my best days out on the bike 🙁
I saw a whimsically dressed woman at Afan a long time back; riding from the centre by the fishing lakes at Glyncorrwg to the start of the trails along the river, where you cross the high level bridge from a distance away you could see something going on but I couldn't work out what. As I got closer you could make out she had a large raincoat and a white mask on, and was having some photos taken. Closer still, she'd not had time to get properly dressed under her raincoat.
No weed today, but did spot some very skmipy red and black ladies knickers discarded on a byway.
A dead runner. Not one of my best days out on the bike 🙁
That's likely to leave a mark on you. I hope it didn't affect you to badly.
Wasn’t great, thanks for checking, but sorry for his family and friends. I suppose he died doing what he loved doing and doing something you love is probably the way to go, but not quite yet thanks!
No dildos but, like a previous poster, I had a mangled pigeon fall out of the sky and land by my feet when out running. Jumped out of my skin! I assume I must have startled a bird if prey having their lunch in a nearby tree... I had blood on my shoes.
Could have been worse though, if it had landed on my head I don't think I'd have been very happy!
Forgot we had to take a detour around a murder scene on one summer evening ride near Welwyn, fortunately the police got there before us so we just saw a bit of tape and a group of rozzers.
Can we do strange things we've smelled?
Last weekend I was riding up the mast road at Rivington at about 10am. Low cloud and sub zero conditions, snow everywhere. Nobody in sight.
But then I get the unmistakable smell of ganj, which gets stronger as I turn and climb off-road to a little hill (Two Lads for the locals).
It smells really, REALLY strong at the top, then I drop down the descent and out of the fog I see a group of four giggling their heads off as they struggle to stay upright walking down the slippy, slushy hillside.
Ok, it's probably not that unusual for Rivington these days, but I had to admire them for braving the elements and getting on it that early.
I had a mangled pigeon fall out of the sky and land by my feet when out running. Jumped out of my skin! I assume I must have startled a bird if prey having their lunch in a nearby tree…
That reminds me of one time where I rode through an almost cartoon-like cloud of feathers, and spotted a blur disappearing off into the sky. Assume I'd startled a peregrine or sparrowhawk mid-take-down.
Riding round the edge of a field of oilseed rape and came a young lady sans top and bra having her photo taken by some luck chap. She ducked down pretty quick when she saw me 😂
2 men on a remote little river beach at the weekend. the guy stood up straight must have been having trouble with his flies or something as his mate was on his knees trying to help... he got up pretty sharpish when they heard me so must've sorted it...?
On my way up to Rivington Pike about 8 O' Clock on a summers evening. A lad servicing a lady on the back seat of his Corsa, I couldn't avoid passing right by as he was parked right next to the gate I was passing through! For those who know the area he was opposite the Ice Cream run car park right next to the gate up from the Great Barn. His window was slightly down and he gave me a cheery "alright mate" he looked proud as owt! 🙂
tops5
he looked proud as owt!
Which bit of him were you looking at??
Speaking of things falling out of the sky..OH got shat on by a Stork in Morrocco. Now that is extremely messy!!
I have stumbled across a couple in flagrante in Crystal Palace Park right next to the Llama enclosure, a delivery truck delivering cages of live dogs to a restaurant while out riding in the mountains in Taiwan (dog was supposed to be illegal at the time), a porno film being filmed in the moiddle of a German forest with one chap and i think at least a couple of girls and film crew but most diturbing was in my first week of living here in Germany I was happy to find some trails in the woods in near the city centre which I quickly found out were the formed by the local cottagers(?). I came round a corner to be confronted by two men in the act of sodomy with an audience of other men all around with their manhoods out.....and had to ride through the middle of them!
For those who know the area he was opposite the Ice Cream run car park right next to the gate up from the Great Barn
Jeez, might as well just do it in Horwich high street.
and had to ride through the middle of them!
That could have been a sticky situation.