[Closed] Shaking hands.. protocol

IF they're close friends can't you just ask them?

Next time you meet them and they offer a handshake, reply with the classic outstretched hand then thumb brought up to nose with wiggly fingers manovure, complete with "Neerrr!!!" noise, they'll quickly get the jist.

For what it's worth my opinion on handshaking is the same as yours.

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Fist bump, bro!

NOT.

IF they're close friends can't you just ask them?

Suppose I've been avoiding the question so as not to insult them.. I'll take your advice 😉

Tell them NO! on hygiene grounds!

Embrace them and kiss them on both cheeks Euro style, they'll soon stop coming in for the handshake

Just give them a big sloppy kiss instead.

Some of my friends are huggers and kissers (the kiwis) and others are not (the scots).

But shake hands is what you do with people when you meet for the first time, and not after that, is the protocol as I understand it ?

Trump their handshake with a hip hop hug

I prefer the "Dylan" 🙂

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My main friends I tend to shake hands with unless a bit drunk when the man hugs come out to play

Man hugs all the way...................

Followed by who can lift who off the ground, throw them to the ground, in a neck lock and wait for the tap out 😉

A few guys from work insist on going round shakin everyone's hand when they return from annual leave. I don't get it. It's like they want to be congratulated for coming back to work.

Meeting up with mates I haven't seen for a while is different. That could either be a handshake and a manly hug, or both but it wouldn't happen as often as the OP said.

OP - are you from the South as this confused me...

I've been avoiding the question so as not to insult them..

Or, as you approach them, do a big stagey coughing wheezing sniffling fit, finished with a big wipe of hand across snotty nose.

Then see if they dare...

(and get new some friends, honestly what kind of people are they ?? Do they leave traffic cones outside their house and fence nazi memorabilia too ??)

hug

arrrgh.

Man hugs all the way...................

Followed by who can lift who off the ground, throw them to the ground, in a neck lock and wait for the tap out

A few guys from work insist on going round shakin everyone's hand when they return from annual leave. I don't get it. It's like they want to be congratulated for coming back to work

I'd rather shake hands with a friend, even if I'm crying out for a hug, than meet someone through work and have my fingers crushed by some over-compensating professional hand mangler, or shake hands with someone who's grip is so weak, that their fingers collape under their own weight and you're left feeling just a bit icky.

Then there are those that don't let go, the awkwarness of how hard to grip a woman's hand...it's a minefield of variables.

Simple solution is hug everyone; friends, colleagues, suppliers, ramblers. Good way to make yourself memorable at an interview as well.

How old are you OP? (serious question) During my late twenties early thirties me and my mates went through a similar thing. Some wanted to shake, some wanted to hug, one wanted to kiss. All a bit weird for a while but I think it was one of those "sh!t I'm growing up now so I'd better act that way" things.

Eventually it worked itself out, given most of us are either married or in couples now it feels a bit weird not greeting even my best mates with a handshake - I'll always give their wives/girlfriends a peck on the cheek so a handshake seems the mature and appropriate thing to do. If it means crossing the room then just a serious nod will suffice.

These days we appear to be struggling with how to greet or say goodbye to each others children. For our closest friends I usually opt for the bear hug, tickle, blow raspberry on neck approach. One of my best mates is quite manly and not too comfortable with that so goes for high fives.

zerocool - Member
Embrace them and kiss them on both cheeks Euro style, they'll soon stop coming in for the handshake

I like your style!

OP. Shaking hands is just a show of respect. Get comfortable with it. MTFU.

Yeah, I tend to shake hands with people. No biggy, its just a nice way a greeting people I think.

Close friends?

Hug.

I don't see my friends that often and they mean a lot to me. Handshakes are for strangers, acquaintances, and business.

Are we really that afraid of showing a bit of love?

cos this is really starting to grate on me now

why?

What's the standard protocol you stick too?

ocd?

What's the standard protocol you stick too?

1. Unzip fly

2. Put flaccid p£ni$ in friends hand

3. make groaning noise

4. repeat 2 & 3 for multiple friends if necessary

What is the protocol for a kiss on the cheek when meeting a woman?

A lot of the wifes friends / relatives go for this and it makes me rather uncomfortable.

Do you actually kiss the cheek? or just the air?

Is a hand on their hip acceptable?

Do you give said hip a little squeeze? - even if its an old lady?

🙁

I do the hand shake thing - sign of respect imo.
What I still can't get used to is the kiss!It happens most Darn Sarf.

mwa mwa ! "get off me I've only just met you!!"

What is the protocol for a kiss on the cheek when meeting a woman?

GrahamS - not afraid of showing a bit of love but you don't have to cuddle each other to accomplish that. Stiff upper lip and all that.

Edit to add: Don't squeeze old ladies hips in case they break.

GrahamS - not afraid of showing a bit of love but you don't have to cuddle each other to accomplish that. Stiff upper lip and all that.

Why though? What's wrong with a cuddle, or even a stilted man-hug-with-back-slap if you must.

We're only here for a short time - so show some love. 😀

(it should be noted that many of my male friends roll their eyes when I give them a hug)

Go for a 'thumb in' shake.

Or delicately trail your index finger across their palm as you retract from the shale.

Or make it clear you're going for a "fist bump" just before your fists connect, revert to a traditional handshake, and shake their fist.

The man I was working for always used to shake hands.

Then he didn't pay you.

I'd rather he had paid me........... and his other staff, distributors, council tax, Inland Revenue, VAT, car tax, mot, you name it, on time.

Shaking his hand became quite nauseating...perhaps that was the intention....to further insult you!

I said "you name it" there, but it is quite possible he did pay his dealer on time!

my brother inlaw has the worst handshake ever...i now dread seeing him for that reason alone....its the masterful palm facing the ground that he employs...i twist it back now.ive shook hands for years in all my jobs/with freinds and family.
you can tell a lot by a handshake....

Are they masons?

Are they masons?

i dont think so...

Does he lean back a little while he offers you his downturned hand? I'd be tempted to kick him in the nads 🙂

I always carry a small bottle of alcoholic hand wash gel to get the germs off after a handshake.

[url= http://www.nice.org.uk/CG035 ]here you go - shaking hands protocol[/url]
😳

If their good friends i can't see why they'd want to shake hands.
My big boss came down to our depot for a meeting the other day and as he's one of these "i'm just better than all of you" table banging types i knew that post meeting the handshake would be of the strength to break a dozen walnuts so i took great delight in getting in there first with the sort of handshake that would bring tears to the eye's of any bloke.
Smug. oh yes.

Nothing worse than a failed limp handshake, make me realise some blokes just aren't manly at all

Nothing worse than a failed limp handshake, make me realise some blokes just aren't manly at all

Agreed.

I have a sort of collapsible hand - last couple of kuckles are depressed and I have to go in a bit firm to avoid it folding over if the opposition is a crusher. (blimey, that last bit could - ah, never mind 😳 )

Sometimes wonder if it makes me look a bit of a desperate try-hard though

Scaredypants = not funny really.

Anyway, mate at work is a Mason. Also has a history as a manly biker, used to hang round with Hell's Angels and some of them are Masons now too (who'd have thunk it?). Every time I mention Man Hugs he gets a little queasy.

My best mate who is like a brother (we've worked together twice) will hug me, and I him. Like someone else said - it's showing love. Nowt wrong with that.

Why the surprise at bike gang members being Masons? Surely the mentality of loyalty to their brotherhood is the same in both instances?

My friends and I always shake hands, its a respect thing (or maybe a respek t'ing harking back to our youth?) and part of the bond between us. Its also easily done whilst staying astride your bike at the end of a ride! Then special occasions call for big man hugs all round 😀

we all shake hands sometimes, bump fists, hug.. I got a peck on the cheek from a hard fighting right wing digger driver at a funeral the other day..

if they're close friends though surely you weigh balls..?

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/handshakes

If their good friends i can't see why they'd want to shake hands.

That's the thing.. these are old friends I've been biking with for 20+ years.. People I consider close friends (maybe they're not as close as I thought). It's just something I view a little too formal for friends who see each other often.

#firstworldproblems

Close male friends usually get a hug (depending how recently I saw them), less close male friends a handshake or the aforementioned nod - close female friends get a peck on one cheek and/or a hug.

Weirdly though some good friends I feel less comfortable hugging or even shaking hands with, dunno why.

My partner's sister in law greets by kissing on the mouth, a little perturbing when you're going for the cheek and she contorts her body to meet you face to face! Once you're used to it it's actually quite nice in a non-sexual way. She comes from a religious background and I think it was noted that that Jezuz bloke used to kiss his friends on the mouth. Might be why?

As for handshakes, avoid any stray digit movements, don't want them to think you're a Mason!

Nothing worse than a failed limp handshake, make me realise some blokes just aren't manly at all

I disagree. 'Hi fiving' your American work mate's buddy after a few sherbets (though not enough to make this totally excusable), missing, and then losing balance is worse.

I'd imagine. 😳

Nothing worse than a failed limp handshake, make me realise some blokes just aren't manly at all

I'm hoping this was a joke, because for me there's nothing worse than people trying to prove how manly they are by crushing your hand in some weird power game only they are playing.

big hug, cheeky kiss on the neck.

if its a woman however, death grip handshake to remind her she's the weaker sex.

I'm hoping this was a joke, because for me there's nothing worse than people trying to prove how manly they are by crushing your hand in [b]some weird power game only they are playing[/b].

What, [i]life[/i]?
Only kidding folks.
I just squeeze enough to grip, and make my arm really stiff, like I'm trying really hard to stop them from moving my arm. Because I don't really get much out of handshakes.

if its a woman however, death grip handshake to remind her she's the weaker sex.

Maybe in future just surprise them with a straight punch to the face? That'll learn 'em.

my dad taught me not to do anything for free that perverts will hand good money over for. a fist square to the face can earn me a good 80quid if i advertise it on the right websites!

i'd be wary of locking your arm out so it doesnt move, i dislocated a friends shoulder when he tried to stop me shaking his hand... i wasn't expecting him to not move his hand and it just kinda popped 😳

Nothing worse than a failed limp handshake, make me realise some blokes just aren't manly at all

I'm hoping this was a joke, because for me there's nothing worse than people trying to prove how manly they are by crushing your hand in some weird power game only they are playing.

There's an acceptable level of 'squeeze' or 'firmness'.

Limp is just, well, limp...half-arsed, and really quite offish.

And of course the crusher is equally as shit.

Think of hugs, a loose no body touch hug is so false, a warm embrace does the trick, and rubbing crotches whilst giving one bum check a squeeze is a bit over the top.

"Maybe in future just surprise them with a straight punch to the face? That'll learn 'em."

I nearly lost my bladder reading that 🙂

Stick the ****ing nut in them!

Interesting that the British have a crisis of confidence over the physicality of their greetings.

In German, handshakes happen all the time - often between parents and offspring as they de[art for school. For a stand-offish natio, that's a lot of touching.

I learned to shake hands as a young man (public school, sportsman, etc) and have kept it up. I often feel awkward if a greeting [i]hasn't[/i] started with a handshake.

On the subject of high fives - I was in Colorado a few years ago with work and staying over a weekend so decided to hire a road bike for a day (before I'm slated, on more recent trips I'd hired MTB so fancied a change).

Was chatting to the guy in the bike shop and must have said something he liked as he raised his hand in the air. I wasn't sure what he was doing so looked a bit puzzled for a few seconds before continuing the conversation. It wasn't until about an hour later I realised he was wanting to high five me. I suddenly felt very un-cool (fully lycra'd up on a top end road bike)

I find it awkward when you have conflicting greeting people in the same situation: meeting a good friend who is comfortable with a no contact greeting, then add in a less familiar friend who is a straight up hugger.

I sometimes fist bump if the greeting is hard to detect (it's clearly ironic with me). They may be a thumb swivelling deep-handshaker, a hip-hop-shake-hugger, a hugger, a limp-lettuce shaker or a hand-crushing-he-man.

I adapt to the person, but it's hugs for the homies. Tight is right 😉

what is that cold limphandshake all about..?

It's like the Sheriff of Nottingham disgustedly proffering his hand to allow you to pay your simpering respects..

I try to grab and hug these folk 'cos they probably need a bit of love

Reminds me of when I met my mates boss, he's an estate agent. Gave him a firm handshake but he went for the full on bone crusher even putting his shoulder into it, completely over the top. Then had the cheek to say "nice to meet you but your handshake needs some work".

What a c*ck!