As a good ol' inverse to the Faux Pas thread...
What bike aesthetic or fashion rules do you religiously follow despite knowing them to be pointless or even detrimental?
I refuse to wear visible elbow pads. Knee pads with shorts are fine, but elbow pads must always be covered by a long sleeve jersey.
The tyre logo/valve alignment thing is something I tend to do despite it having absolutely no effect whatsoever.
I don't know whether riding an upright bike when speed recumbents are generally supposed to be faster counts.
Tyre logo/valve thing does help when finding a puncture in a tube though...not so much tubeless but not everyone has bought into the heavier tyre and sloshing solution idea.
I'm a proponent of Velominati Rules #26 and #40, applied to MTBs and gravel bikes of course as I have never owned, nor do I ever want, a road bike:
#26 Make your bike photogenic. When photographing your bike, gussy her up properly for the camera. Some parameters are firm: valve stems at 6 o’clock. Cranks never at 90 or 180 degrees. Others are at your discretion, though the accepted practices include putting the chain on the big dog, and no bidons in the cages.
I'd add my own addendums to this one, in that the dropper should never be higher than your bars for the photo, and the photo should always be drive side only. I do break the bidon part of the rule, however. Crank angle I also occasionally overlook if the pedal is being used to support the bike.
#40 Tires are to be mounted with the label centred over the valve stem. Pro mechanics do it because it makes it easier to find the valve. You do this because that’s the way pro mechanics do it. This will save you precious seconds while your fat ass sits on the roadside fumbling with your CO2 after a flat. It also looks better for photo opportunities. Note: This obviously only applies to clinchers as tubulars don’t give you a choice.
i stop for a coffee on every ride,
checking tyres pressures before a ride
Back from the days of tubes where you'd have a slow puncture and lose maybe 5-10 psi a week, with tubeless now I can lose maybe a max of 1 psi a month but still habitually check them before every ride
And also spraying protect n shine on stanchions for forks dropper and rear shock. I know it makes no difference, but in my head it everything feels rougher when I don't do it. Placebo effect in full swing.
Tyre logo/valve thing does help when finding a puncture in a tube though...not so much tubeless but not everyone has bought into the heavier tyre and sloshing solution idea.
If your wheel builder is following 'the rules' the hub manufacturer's logo will be above the valve drilling when it is uppermost (Valve should be under the hub at this point).
i stop for a coffee on every ride,
It's not a 'proper' ride if you dont (beer for the evening also counts).
I'd add my own addendums to this one, in that the dropper should never be higher than your bars for the photo,
dropper should either be up or down for photos. half erect just means it looks like a short travel dropper in the up position.
+1 for tyre logo / valve alignment. Just looks nicer.
Always having the same brand of tyre front and rear.
yep, can't be doing with odd tyres front and rear.
I'd add my own addendums to this one, in that the dropper should never be higher than your bars for the photo,
dropper should either be up or down for photos. half erect just means it looks like a short travel dropper in the up position.
Modern long travel droppers look silly fully erect, towering above the bike and distorting the proportions.
Slammed is acceptable, but can suggest the rider is a shortarse.
Always have to have my road stem with negative rise, even though I'm far too tall and inflexible so really need the extra height.
yep, can't be doing with odd tyres front and rear.
Looks at Racing Ray / Butcher combo and realises on wrong thread. 😢
Cranks never at 90 or 180 degrees.
I don't understand this? I take the 0° point as the 12.00 position, so (for me) the cranks should be at 90° and 270°, ie, horizontal when photographing the bike. I'm pretty consistent with this, and if I can't find a rock/root/low wall at exactly the right height to prop the pedal up against so that the cranks are exactly level, I'll not bother taking the photo!
It's more difficult on the photos with the bike lying down on the ground. I still feel the cranks should be pointing directly forwards/backwards, but then the pedal closest to the ground snags the ground and either rotated the bike around such that the cranks are no longer facing forwards/backwards, and/or upsets the front wheel / bars so they are no longer in line with the rest of the bike. The solution is to find a section of eg double-track where the ruts are slightly lower than the verges/centre line, so the ground-facing pedal can rest on (or slightly above) the ground without unsettling the whole bike being all lined up!
(Jeez - just looking back at all that I typed above, I might be over-thinking this!)
When photographing your bike, gussy her up properly for the camera. Some parameters are firm: valve stems at 6 o’clock. Cranks never at 90 or 180 degrees. Others are at your discretion, though the accepted practices include putting the chain on the big dog, and no bidons in the cages.
The general principles of the above aren't too bad.
Referring to your large chainring as "the big dog" should be grounds for that person to be beaten to death with said chainset.
Another one for tyre logo / valve alignment though. Just looks right.
Oh I also shave my legs. It makes no difference whatsoever. I don't fall off to suffer the gravel rash that shaved legs is supposed to make easier, I don't have sports massages. But I do it anyway.
So, tyre logos/valve alignment - which logo, brand or model?
Stopping at traffic lights.
I also often use the cycle path!
Oh I also shave my legs. It makes no difference whatsoever. I don't fall off to suffer the gravel rash that shaved legs is supposed to make easier, I don't have sports massages. But I do it anyway.
Yep, our very amateur midweek club TTs were the final excuse I needed to start shaving my legs, just because I always wanted to but couldn't find a decent excuse.
I've always resisted taping my bars in the lairy colours I really want to tape them in because I feel it contravenes 'the rules'. I've now got some flat/ wing profile Easton carbon bars on my dark petrol blue Basso so I'm thinking I could get away with taping the bars pink up to the corners at least...
Oh I also shave my legs. It makes no difference whatsoever. I don't fall off to suffer the gravel rash that shaved legs is supposed to make easier, I don't have sports massages. But I do it anyway.
Almost all the reasons people state for leg shaving are just ways of saying they're too scared to admit they like how their legs look shaved. Realising this was a real turning point for me - possibly the first time in my life I found some beauty in my own body.
So yeah, I shave my legs because I like how it looks.
FWIW I didn't post on the faux pas thread because I believe very strongly that the very notion of cycling faux pas is bullshit that we all need to get over.
It's not a 'proper' ride if you dont (beer for the evening also counts).
We often stop for beers at 10.30am 😂
I don't think there are any pointless rules I adhere to. Maybe the tyre brand thing, though I'm not particularly fussy about tyres generally and can't imagine going through a process of trying lots of different combinations just to end up with a pile of not quite rights. Strange really as I'm more of an experimenter in other cycling related bits and pieces so will happily try all sorts of options, both traditional and off-the-wall, settling on something that just suits me best.
i stop for a coffee on every ride,
It isn’t an option for most of my rides 😬
I think the only one I rigidly conform to that’s been mentioned so far is logo alignment… and yet hadn’t ever realised how much easier it makes finding the valve 🤦🏻
In the spirit of DH I never wear Lycra regardless of the ride type.
Referring to your large chainring as "the big dog" should be grounds for that person to be beaten to death with said chainset.
Using just the non-driveside arm.
We often stop for beers at 10.30am
Good luck with that in rural Suffolk! Midday before some places start serving round these parts! 😱
If there are multiples of something on a bike, they must match.
Exception being tyres, they have to be the same brand, but I will accept different models/tread patterns.
Valve logo alignment I do without even thinking about it.
No steerer tube spacers above the stem (carbon steerers accepted)
Jersey zipped up for photos.
Wouldn't want Endura to miss out on the brand exposure to my Strava friends when I upload the ride.
So, tyre logos/valve alignment - which logo, brand or model?
Brand, always.
If your wheel builder is following 'the rules' the hub manufacturer's logo will be above the valve drilling when it is uppermost (Valve should be under the hub at this point).That's just madness, the hub logo should be centred on the valve hole.
Absolutely this. And if there's more than one bit of info on the hub shell, e.g. brand AND model, it should be the brand name/logo that's visible through the valve hole.
Not that it actually makes any difference, but anything else is wrong.
Exception being tyres, they have to be the same brand, but I will accept different models/tread patterns.
Frustration for me is having matching brands front and rear, but the brand logos differ due to them being different models/treads! Continental...
Tyres/logo's always, it's just habit now.
Legs shaved, again, it's mainly habit, but it does look good too.
Sunglasses over the helmet straps. Partly aesthetic but I also find my helmet straps sit better that way. Sunglasses should ideally match your kit too, and definitely your helmet (which is why I only buy black or white helmets).
Lyrca is worn more often than not. Baggy shorts may come out in the summer for the MTB but winter or wet off road and year round on road is always Lycra as it just works better.
Not sure of the coffee rule. For me, riding time is for riding so if I've got 3 hours riding time I want the wheels to be turning for 3 hours. I don't want to spend 45 mins sat in a cafe, I'll have a coffee or a beer when I get home.
If your bike has 2 bottle cages then they should both be the same make, model and colour. If using 1 bottle it should be in the downtube cage, and if 2 then they should be matching bottles.
Sunglasses over the helmet straps. Partly aesthetic but I also find my helmet straps sit better that way. Sunglasses should ideally match your kit too, and definitely your helmet
You shouldn't be wearing a helmet on the road or cx bike and one's sunglasses should be relatively sophisticated rather than designed by a three year old with a paint pallette. Obviously on a mountain bike a helmet is permissable as dressing like a hobo / stoner is so common. A gravel bike is a difficult look to mandate as most of them look fairly horrendous.
If you're carrying a pump on a road bike it should be a frame fit or completely hidden.
I used to work with a reasonably good older roadie and he would commute via Richmond Park, every other week he would complain about other riders attire with the phrase "It's a crime against cycling history".
On a standing start from the lights, go "beep" as if you're on a velodrome....
On a standing start from the lights, go "beep" as if you're on a velodrome....
From a track stand.
On a standing start from the lights, go "beep" as if you're on a velodrome....
Similarly, if riding a long stretch of road alone, adopt an aero position and pretend to be your pro of choice (I currently pretend to be Remco).
Obviously on a mountain bike a helmet is permissable as dressing like a hobo / stoner is so common
As tragic as dressing for mountain biking can oft be - generally any look is better than the abomination that is your average mamil
Tyre logo where valve is, tyres same make and or model - e.g. Minion DHRII and DHF.
No longer go for coloured road tyres, the 90's were a while ago.
Bar tape must be black, MTB grips, what ever, so long as they clean up (flo green currently to match highlights on frame). MTB originally came with white grips. They went mucky yellow very quickly.
Colour coordinate lid to top - unless the lid is black, which most of mine are. Blue lid rarely get's used. Flo green lid matches MTB.
Shoes, must be black, or dark coloured. Even road shoes. One wet ride, white turns mucky grey.
Absolutely no turning the bike upside down. Shows you are a noob. No need, and risks damaging computers/hoods/stem etc etc. Use weight of bike to help mount the wheels.
Most importantly, the bike, absolutely must be working properly. It doesn't go out with dodgy gear changes, creaks or groans and no rattles etc. Really wish some of my mates would fix their bikes - get ear ache with the amount of noise one of my mates bikes makes.
the abomination that is your average mamil
I had to retire some bibs when they got a bit thin and the boys started joking about sausage baps
If your bike has 2 bottle cages then they should both be the same make, model and colour. If using 1 bottle it should be in the downtube cage, and if 2 then they should be matching bottles.
I agree about the downtube cage, just seems right, but I'm tortured because I think it has been shown that a single bottle in the seat-tube cage is more aero. It's one of those 'free' marginal gainz that I enjoy obsessing over (I'm going gloveless for our local TTs this year for this reason 😎)
I remember reading that years ago. May not still apply for fat tubed carbon bikes where the downtube is nearly as fat as a bottle.
Absolutely no turning the bike upside down. Shows you are a noob. No need, and risks damaging computers/hoods/stem etc etc. Use weight of bike to help mount the wheels.
This is a mountainbike website, isn't it?
This is a mountainbike website, isn't it?
With the amount of leg shaving nonsense I've read lately, I'm not sure
Similarly, if riding a long stretch of road alone, adopt an aero position and pretend to be your pro of choice (I currently pretend to be Remco).
Late 80s-early 90s , always fun to race past each other shouting Phil Liggett style commentary .."Can it be .. yes, Lemond's digging deep, and he's dropped Fignon!"
or the simple "Tomac Attaaaack!!" when MTBing as you barge past elbows out (and often crashed very soon after). There was no other force in MTBing like the Tomac Attack.
Jumpers for goalposts..
Still not a lot better than a solo road ride on a good day, fast open roads and telling yourself that you're coming up to the Flamme Rouge and the chase group are far enough back that they won't close the gap, but only if you keep going.
Most importantly, the bike, absolutely must be working properly. It doesn't go out with dodgy gear changes, creaks or groans and no rattles etc.
Back to rules, this one. Not pointless at all - just that your bike should be something you respect and take care of. It can be dirty because it's well-used but it can't start a ride in poor mechanical condition.
Bottle and cage must match/complement the bikes colour.
If your bike has 2 bottle cages then they should both be the same make, model and colour. If using 1 bottle it should be in the downtube cage, and if 2 then they should be matching bottles.
A lesson I learnt from CX is that a single bottle goes in the seat tube cage cos it's considerably less likely to be ejected or to get covered in shite.
Is this thread what it feels like to be a road cyclist? Blimey, the struggle is real.
Funny thing is, one of the guys in my office, unironically follows "the rules" and has left a copy on one of the desks in his team area.
I can still remember being *faxed* a copy of the original 10 (or may have been 12) rules when i worked in a shop in the late 80s/early 90s... They were treated as a bit of a joke even back then. They still make as little sense now as they did 35 years ago.
On a standing start from the lights, go "beep" as if you're on a velodrome....
Reported for swear filter avoidance 🙂
Although I'm more likely to shout *beep* when I'm struggling to stop rather than struggling to get going
I don't seem to follow any of them...
- valves and tyre logos - doesn't cross my mind
- different tyre brands - same...I don't aim to mismatch but it happens
- shaved legs - can't be arsed - did get them waxed for charity once and it was smooth!
- bike upside down - yeah, if it's helpful - try to do it on grass or something soft if it's convenient, but why not if you're careful
- rattles, squeaks, etc - well, I try to stop them, but I'm not going to not go for a ride
- mini pump on bike - yup, I'll just forget it otherwise, and the thought of landing on pump in back pocket in a crash worries me. I also have a wee saddle bag on my road bike for tube and multitool 😱 😱
- bidons - is that roadie for 'water bottle'? if so, I just use whatever is to hand and cleanish...
Am I a monster???!!!
Yes!!
Bar grips must be black.
You can deviate from this rule if you have grips/saddle/composite pedals that are non-black, but they must all be of the same colour.
This thread is sailing pretty close to Velominati. I think we all should take a long hard look at oursleves...
This thread is sailing pretty close to Velominati.
It is, but that's as a lot of those rules make some sense. They may not offer performance benefits, but there is some sense in some of them.
Don't need to watch what I eat because I cycle everywhere. 🙄
is there? which ones?
Shorts should be black, no one needs a return to the AG2R brown sounds-a-bit-like-shorts.
Valves should line up with tyre logos, I worked fixing bikes for the last few months and it just makes life so much easier when you've got double digits of punctures to fix. Doubly so when it's someone else's bike, I can live with having to fix it twice because I missed the spec of flint feeling for it with my horrible calloused thumb, less acceptable when it's a customers bike.
No short sleeves and long shorts, just like point 1 people just need rules to stop them looking like they have never had to choose their own clothes before.
Handlebars should be level, I test ride a lot of bikes after fixing them and genuinely wonder if people actually enjoy riding them in whatever ergonomic state they are, bars rotated, saddle pointing at the sky, clearly inappropriate stem lengths.
Hold your line, the racing line is not cutting into the apex causing a pile up with the person on the inside. Neither is your late braking maneuver going to magically create space in the corner. Just hold your line and don't crash into people.
Don't litter. Should be self explanatory tbh.
Don't half wheel
Don't be late (it's just rude)
etc....
is there? which ones?
3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 21, 26, (33), 40, 43, 47, 49, 53, 55, 58, 59, 61, 63, 65, 68, 69, 72, 73, 75, 77, 83, 87, 94.
Bars and stem should be of the same brand and really of the same range in the brand. Seat posts used to also have to match bars and stem branding until droppers became the norm and my brain learnt to accept that deviation from the rule!
^ That's surely going a bit to far.Stem and bar the same colour will fine.
^ That's surely going a bit to far.Stem and bar the same colour will fine.
Gravel bike aside, I haven't got one bike with the same colour bar and stem
Bars and stem should be of the same brand and really of the same range in the brand. Seat posts used to also have to match bars and stem branding until droppers became the norm and my brain learnt to accept that deviation from the rule!
I dunno, I would have said stem and seatpost should match, but then mine don't even on the road because I like my fancy Canyon VCLS post, although I have been tempted to sand the logos off.
I do think stems should visually match something though, could be the cranks, wheels (rim if deep carbon, or hubs if aluminum).
Bars. Whatever suits you. Unless they're something distinctive you can't really tell from a photo anyway unless it's quite a contrived angle.
don't litter and don't be late - OK - the rest of it? aye right sunshine 🙂 I'll wear tweed plus 4s if I want ( I don't race nor do I ride in a bunch ever)