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You do realise that you can still live a rich and varied life without joining the rat race and without running away from your responsibilities right?
All the work for food, bike parts etc stuff - great, varied work will be guaranteed. But why not do it within close proximity to those who
a) Need you and
b) Can help you?
Running away on a "journey" is not the answer.
Sharki - all this about having and wanting no cash - new Laptop 😉
sociopathic maniacs driving monster trucks through football crowds, or taking pop-shots down high-streets with a high powered sniper rifle
where do I sign?
Don't try and change who people are
We weren't, I don't think.
Change your life to suit you and your fam - long term, is my approach.
Not judging you tho mate 🙂
I think you have a bit of gypsy blood in you 😉
On a practical note: what kind of gearing system are you wanting to put on your 456? 3x9, 2x9, 1x9, SLX, XT?
house in Brighton with a spare room and built-in bike workshop if you need a service or somewhere to kip. Front garden could do with digging out or bricking over (if you can do brickwork)
Wanna lay a patio?
5lab, I am a bricky by trade and will be going to Brighton to see a friend, if it's not getting too late in the year, i'll gladly help you out.
However, a little concerned of your offer to service me given where you live 😉
Molgrips, maybe, if i make it to Wales this year..
I've had lots of mailed requests to lay patios. Does the STW massive plan to knock off their wives and get me to bury them? Then they can get to travel too... 😉
Sharki, I don't know you and maybe I never will, but if you ever find yourself anywhere in or around Northants there is always food here for you, and a bed if you need or want it (email in profile)
I don't think that you'll find yourself out in the world, perhaps you should search inside yourself? you may find distractions for a while but once you return you will still have a lot to deal with.
As for the ratrace, it's for fools! two kinds really those that see it for what it is and hate it, and those that go on about going along with it and excepting resposibility.
The rich own us and use every bit of leverage they can, love for our children, resposibilty, social circumstance, the longer we go along with the ratrace the more powerful they become.
Since they are only concerned with money, power or influence and not quality of life and the development and evolution of our species, having them in charge of the resources and thus future of our species is not a good idea.
Incase anyone hasn't noticed the world is in a bad way just now, we work longer and longer hours get paid less and less and are manipulated at every turn.
We all of us have less real lives and go along with what is expected of us, buying useless clothes and consumer electronics, all manner of clutter. If you want to get away from it and put things into perspective, sounds good to me.
As for your kids, that's between you and them, kids get a rough time of it these days. Schools are for the most part psychological war zones. TV teaches them that nonsense is cool and that idiocy rocks! They are expected to go along with the ratrace even though most people they know are unhappy.
Should unhappy people be giving anyone advise?
If you're going off to think about your life, put it into perspective and figure out a way to find a balance and be happy somewhere, sounds like a plan.
If all your going to do is distract yourself and run away, you'll just have more to deal with when you get back!
Freedom lies in the hearts and minds of those, with the strength and force of will to venture within and claim it.
Ridefree!
Anyone else see the irony in TJ - convinced we should be taxed higher to pay for the cost of services - supporting sharki - a man committed to avoiding paying tax which will be required to support, educate and treat [i]his[/i] children?
Sorry laddie, but it's called RESPONSIBILITY and it's something you took on when you decided to bring your children into the world. You don't get out of it because things are a "bit tough".
Take your kids with you sharki.. bring 'em up good and feral with a healthy sense of right and wrong.. and then set them loose to feast on all the brainwashed subordinate hypocrisy that has badgered you on this thread..
unfortunately it will probably taste as bitter as it sounds..
things are a "bit tough"
Did you miss the bit about the rope and the tree? It's clear he is not well enough to fully assume these responsibilities at the moment. His family are safe and secure, so his primary responsibility is to improve his own health, is it not? He's doing that in his own way and without being a drain on the health service.
What about our responsibility to support a friend who is trying to deal with their health problems?
Give the dude a break. He's had a tough few years, is struggling in life, and needs to find himself.
He's no good to his kids as a basket case or 6ft under, or locked in a mental institution anyway, so why don't you quit the judgemental stuff and let him be on his way? Its not YOUR life he's affecting is it?
We all have to make our own choices in our life. Just because he's making choices that you wouldn't make doesn't make him wrong.
Saw this and thought of the thread
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/greenerliving/7951968/The-man-who-lives-without-money.html
did you ever get a blog going. If you hurry up and make it to Newcastle I've got hundreds of jobs need doing on my house and I could return the favour of a few years (doesn't seem that long!) and show you/take you to some riding spots.
Sharki, I caught myself trying to use this thread as an 'explanation/apology' for my own life experiences. That would be wrong of me.
I've got tons of work that needs doing. If I can't be arrised doing it myself, though, it can't be all that important!
If, however, you are passing this way, there is always a brew on the go. I might even push the boat out and provide <substitute biscuit of choice>!
There is a lot of truth to be found from the kindness of strangers, even if you, at first, think they are being negative.
Take care.
If you're passing through Worcester on your way up to Scotland, and you need a bed, some food and what not for a night or 2, then please feel free to get in touch... I always cook way too much food anyway, and am more than happy to give shelter to a fellow MTBer...
If it made you feel any better, I'm sure I could let you do some odd jobs around the house... The bush outside our house is very overgrown right now, and the Garage could do with a good sort out! 😉
My local area could really do with someone to come and liaise with the ASBO youths who cause other residents untold grief. If you could come and deal with that, you'll have many a place to stay, and all the food you can eat.
I dont know you sharki, and if I'm honest, I'm unaffected by your life choice and therefore in no position to judge. I would, however, suggest that you re-read the posts on this thread from the female members of this forum, as they seem to be coming from a far more grounded place. Just a thought...
All this talk of paying taxes etc....i could just get signed off work as a mental health patient, be given accommodation and benefits, or even sectioned and get food provided for me too, both of which i'm sure my kids would look at me and be proud of their father...
Perhaps i could continue trying out different meds and continue the counselling, so i can tell the pros how i don't fit in and why, maybe i should not be happy and live with regret and bitterness that i could've felt alive in a way i know works for me.
Yes, yes, it's all clear now, i should step back into the way of life i've had since leaving school as it's clearly been the right way for ME, there was a time when i had control of finances, i wanted to stay put and not explore further than my own nether regions, i've always wanted a home with stability, a dog and a car and kids......Whoaa there, just a minute.
No, No, none of this is true, i've always been rubbish with finances, wandered the countryside wondering what's out there, yearning to see more . I've lived in bedsits, been homeless, and only when i got into a relationship and got her pregnant did i move into a home. There i tried to make it work...
Kids...here's the facts. 3 months in, a coil failed and the additional split condom led to a unplanned pregnancy, she didn't want to terminate so i supported her a stayed with her as 'the right thing' a 10 week premature child then pressure to marry her and bullying led to marriage and a second child, which died at birth, a weak relationship led to more bullying and a further pregnancy to try to replace the daughter we lost, continued pressures to change who i was through being degraded, made to feel unless, pathetic and and crap husband father...(i worked 40hrs a week, came home cooked, bathed the kids, laundry duties, night time feeds, nappy changes, run bath for wife,anything to make her life easier so she could do her shifts at work and fit in her affairs)it was suggested(i was told) the try for a daughther would bring us together, so following guidlines to make a girl she got pregnant and a girl was born.
I had the snip and that same day i got a claud butler cape wrath and began to find a little escapism. The freedom it gave me, to be in the wilds, with people i wanted to be with, making choices for myself. not being told want to do and crap i'm am.. A passion was formed, quickly any time i had when the wife was home i could escape from the nagging, the affects of the wine she'd drink. I'd no longer need to duck from flying glasses, books, furniture, i was free...
However, when i wasnt riding the bullying continued and my self esteem disappeared, 9 years of this and suddenly i popped, we split up(she was having another affair, so she still had a companion)and i tried to set up a home in a rented house.
I signed over the home we owned to her and took the £38,000 debt as my share, collectively i was led to believe we owed double that.
So there i was being rubbish with money, not wanting to be somewhere, a low self esteem and alone, over 4 years of trying as only i can, i quickly lost any control over my life and began neglecting myself as i'd done for all the years since leaving school up to when i became a dad.
The depression i'd dealt with for most of my grown up life escalated beyond my minimal control and meds and conselling didin't help. An few drinks one night took me to my first attempt at taking my own life, but on the way to doing it i was pulled over and locked up(blue flashing lights a distraction and forced awareness to your actions) so now my work and life was eve harder and self esteem, value was at a point lower than ever....
Which brings me to the point that on the 1st of April i climbed that tree for the first time, with a rope around my neck i questioned my self and asked myself what i love in life and what i hate.....i new nature and freedom was what i wanted.
For3 days i did this, the 4th i followed my heart and left my past life and found my future.
Only when you travel in the shoes of another will you follow their footsteps, but you'll never feel the journey that they took.
I thank everyone for all their thoughts, advice and opinions, it's what makes us all unique, only in death are we all the same.
You certainly haven't had it easy, Good luck with your travels . I'm sure you'll have fun
Good luck "Free Bird"...
Good luck Sharki , I hope you find peace on your travels.
Sounds like you're running away from yourself. That's a wasted journey, and you'll miss out on the assistance of the only person who can help you.
Sounds like you're running away from yourself.
[b]FFS[/b] - when he confronted himself he was [b]up a tree with a noose !!![/b]
he IS helping himself
different strokes for different folks
give Shane a break and support him - not kick him whilst he's down
give Shane a break and support him - not kick him whilst he's down
I stand by my comment. From most of what I've read about him and most of what I've read by him, it sounds like he needs to learn to support himself. Sometimes, all the help and support people get does little more than keep them from learning the skills needed to actually help themselves. Trouble is, people love to help; perhaps without realising that it's their help that is perpetuating a problem.
sharki, it's good that you've answered your critics on here with your experiences but you don't owe any of us an explanation! live your life your way man!,just make sure your kids know you love them, you can tell them why things turned out this way when they'll understand, as long as you live like a decent person you'll do for me,e-mail me when you're in poole and you'll be fed,have luck.
Sharki
Please mail me if you are in Brighton. Got some bits and pieces that just aren't getting done in the garden.
Hi Shane. Good to see you at the 24/12 the other week.
From most of what I've read about him and most of what I've read by him, it sounds like he needs to learn to support himself
But that's what he's doing. I didn't know Shane, I still don't nor does Mrs BP. But I had met him on a couple of rides and wanted to help earlier this year. Got in touch and met up. He worked here for a few days on stuff that I either couldn't do or couldn't do as well as him. He worked hard, and he worked well, we fed him and he stayed in the spare room.
He was probably bored stiff while here as we're normal middle aged folk, we've a very conventional life in the rat race. My life is controlled by medication so I stick to a routine day after day as that's easier for me to manage my drugs. So roughly the same time to bed, roughly the same time up etc. Routine.
However Shane the consequence of your stay was positive, we both look at things in our life in a slightly different way, not earth shatteringly so but it's changed. Thank you. I hope you come back so we can have a beer and I can listen. Hell I might even stay up late and bore you with more on my life.
Safe journey.
Sounds awesome, I want to embark on a journey like this!
Dude, no need to explain yourself on here to people who don't know you and don't care about you. Look forward to seeing you soon, planning my next Aussie trip and you might be the source of some inspiriation 🙂
I disagree that our "help" is perpetuating a problem in this case. We are not helping Shane to maintain a lifestyle that makes him ill*. Instead we are encouraging him to make the changes he feels are necessary to bring meaning to his life. So it's unconventional... so what!?
*I've been there with my alcoholic sister. Denying her an emotional crutch was necessary to make her hit rock bottom. Which she did and has changed her life for the better. But she had to realise and decide to do that herself. Shane has already realised and decided IMO. So lets help him, in any small way that we can.
[b]SUBJECT CHANGE[/b]
Hey Sharki
just been in my shed ans I have a set of panniers and a rack which should fit the 456 and a set of 26" road tyres ( unused )
Just say if you want em and I will drop em off to you
and there is still room at the Inn
I disagree that our "help" is perpetuating a problem in this case.
I didn't say that it was. I said that [u]sometimes[/u] help and support can perpetuate a problem. What constitutes "help" can often be a matter of opinion. I recognise that there is a responsibility on both sides in what is asked for and what is given.
And I've made no comment, or judgement, on whether Shane's life is conventional or not, so just calm your harassments. I'm just saying what I see; my perception formed from on my own life experiences and from time working in the support system. You are of course free to disagree, but at least do so based on proper understanding of what I've said.
"so just calm your harassments."
Sorry dude, no harassment intended. Peace out.
Good luck Sharki, I'm also sick and tired of the rat-race, the blatant greed of those that govern us.
The rich getting richer etc.
I wish the country had more people like yourself, rather than the middle class sheep who are happy with it, and their lot.
Three_fish.
As you've asked, i've tried to ask the one person who can help me.
However.. as i don't know me as well as yourself and haven't taken 3 months or more living without complications and interference that normal living can provide. I've been unable to think alot about what i need in life and what makes me happy, how i've failed and succeed. How i can fulfil my dreams and satisfy my curiosity of life.
I've never stared through glazed eyes with a rope around my neck wondering how and why i want to live, neither have i looked at the consequences of my actions and justified why and how those actions would affect me and those that love me.
I've not spent nights and days, picturing myself in a cell, rocking in a corner, doped up on medication, just so i could maybe feed myself and partially function,that was never an image in my mind, neither was the sight of me hanging from a tree, lost in a place, hidden from eyes, perhaps found by a concerned friend or family member.
I didn't even see myself travelling, helping and inspiring others, giving hope and faith to others controlled by greed. I've not felt the appreciation and thanks from offering and giving my day up, for just a cup of tea, and felt that warmth as a stranger looked into my eyes then hugged me goodbye.
I've not wanted to carry on and perhaps change a little how people behave, no! that is for someone else to do because they've been trained to do and read the books that told the,.m that's the way to deal with that
I haven't found contentment or a way to get that for the remaining days of my life.
So please, three_fish with all your wisdom and knowledge of who i am and how i feel.
Who do i need to get assistance from, who can provide me with the guidance to show me where i want to go, who can help me? who knows me?
Please tell me as right now the only person i know who knows me... is not you.
Suggestions are welcome because until i know how to be happy i'll just do what i see works to make me be happy.
I read the whole thread last night and to be honest it touched a few nerves I'd forgotton I had. Firstly I'd like to wish Sharki the best of luck in his life, doing what he's doing takes some bollocks, far more so than just sitting there and hoping your life will changed through the input of someone else.
Now here's the odd bit. I've lived (married to) with someone who suffered with mental health problems, years of not knowing what you were going home to or wondering what crisis would unfold this week takes its toll on EVERYONE. So, has anyone except me thought that whilst Sharki is where he is mentally and his kids are safe and cared for then perhaps they might be better without him for the moment?
Sharki go out and let the happiness find you, peace of mind is something worth finding. You're just one man and it'll be near impossible for you to change the world but you can change YOUR world and it's an endevour that should be admired ... 'pleasant valley sunday' isn't for everyone and regardless of what some think, it isn't compulsory.
I'll **** off now ... good luck 😉
)it was suggested(i was told) the try for a daughther would bring us together
That's some crappo advice right there, to put it mildly!
Well done for posting all the personal stuff though to satisfy us lot. Knowing the situation better makes it a lot easier for us to understand. And it's clear that walking away is sometimes the best option.
Thanks once more.
It was hard to share all that, but i felt it necessary, it hurt me to know that people had my best intentions at heart and that my refusal to back down and take the advice must of been frustrating for those with the belief i'm doing the wrong thing.
Bagpus, i'm really touched. For the record, i was not bored, far from it.
Andy, i'm getting a trailer, it'll keep the centre of gravity low, so i can ride the staines easier. 😉 Thanks all the same.
🙂
Can I have the rack and panniers then please?