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I've bitten my lip on this one a bit, for fear of appearing insensitive, but Crikey has basically voiced my own thoughts pretty much.
Maybe Sharki needs to stop for a moment and consider that the nice bicycle he will be riding will have been made by some poor sod in a factory in the east somewhere, for an absolute pittance, because they have to feed their family. There are no options.
I'm not suggesting for a moment that you throw yourself body and soul into the 'rat race' which you so despise, Sharki. I can relate to the daily grind of the 9-5 not being for you. But there are alternatives; have you considered working/volunteering for a charity which does outdoors stuff? Sounds like you've got loads of skills which would be very useful in such a job. You have quite good communication skills; how about looking into developing projects to do up stuff in rural areas, like old barns cottages etc? Repairing old machinery?
I'm not going to jump on the sycophantic bandwagon of 'hey man that's really cool dude', but at some stage you will need to face up to reality. The best way forward is surely to be able to develop ways to help you cope with everyday life, including the things you don't like. You say you want to be there for your kids, well, if you were doing work you enjoyed [i]and[/i] helping support them, wouldn't that be better? If you could take them off on little adventures, show them stuff you've learned? Better than being an absent father, surely? And I don't know if there are any custody/access issues, but surely a working, responsible dad would have a much stronger case to see his kids regularly than a freewheeling hobo? Sometimes you have to make sacrifices yourself, rather than relying on others do do so all the time.
The toughest journey you will ever face is coming to terms with yourself. If you don't, you will forever be trying to run away. Please, try to get some help. Seems like there are those out there who can help you. I won't pretend it won't be painful, but with hope, the future will be a lot happier.
Good luck to you mate, and have a think about what people have said on here.
Well if you happen to be in the 06 in france give me a shout. I'll make sure you're well fed 😉
Oh just one more thing, stay away from the drink n drugs fella (unless prescribed) and it is worth talking to your doctor about everything and if they suggest speaking to someone else then give it a try, it may hurt a bit but it could be the best thing you've ever done! Take care, A
I wonder how i would react if my "other half" walked out and took the kids... ❓
Move away from Bridgwater. It is the arsehole of the world and would eat anyone's soul.
OMG you live in Bridgwater, Ihave passed there twice on my way to the quantocks....sh!t hole of the universe... and i only passed through!!!
I'm with the MTFU crowd on this one; part of being a grown up is doing stuff that you don't want to do, like getting a job, like accepting responsibility,
Or maybe part of being a REAL grown up is knowing that you only get once at chance at life.. why throw it away conforming to someone elses model..?
just a thought..
crikey - Member
Perhaps after getting away from it all for a week / month / yearPerhaps...
..and the next year? and the year after?
This is a good point and one that this guy needs to face upto.
Maybe he'll get a bit stronger and be able to cope with his demons when he returns from this trek. Hope so, good luck!
Can MTFU always be the answer?
Sharki has a choice let him decide what he wants if it makes him happy/mentally stronger by travelling and riding.
Mods, can you move this over to chat as it's not really on topic anymore.
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And once again the oracle of STW speaks, for they know everything through experience of all that occurs.
I appreciate all the advice and offers, as i travel, i hope to meet some of you and give you the chance to share your love of life and i'll share mine.
I'm by no means hoping to survive on STW users, the reason i started this post was mearly an opportunity to pop by and thanks people for the concern and support i got when i disappeared.
I however foolishly forgot the diversity of minds that lurk here and opened the flood gates for narrow minded opinion to be spouted, lets hope we don't see any of that.
Yes i do have a moral obligation to others and i do wish i could function in a suitable way to support and care for them as they deserve.
In all my years i've never been settled, whether with a person or in a place.
I look at the world and see only suffering from greed, jealously of another mans assets, i see stress and unhappiness as people go about their obligations to fit in, to have the next gadget, fine food, a holiday, a life.
I sit and watch people hanker after better things, then complain that there's rubbish on their £1000 tele, the cars broken down again, a newer model whatever is out and i need it to make their life easier.
Then there's Tax, you pay tax on income, whats left you put in the bank and get taxed on saving it, so you spend it and pay tax on that. If there's anything left you can leave it there for a rainy day, or you never get to spend it, well that's useful.
For me this a life i do not want, only I have he power to change that.
Unfortunately i have to come first, my happiness hopefully will pass on to my children and they can learn from my foresight to a better existence.
UP THE REVOLUTION.
And before anyone says about when i get ill, who's going to fund it..I'll be ill for a reason and may nature take me when it's time, let no man intervene with natures course.
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It's not for me say wether it's right or wrong but all I can say is have a safe and interesting journey.
Hope to see you if/when you are up, not sure if I have any work for you but got crash-space.
Cheers Al, i could replaster all your work as the only building tool i'll be carrying is my trowel. 😉
Looks like i'll be in the Burgh for a while. 8)
Speak to Mark about plastering...mine's all done...badly!
lol, artex then is it?
Meh.
I don't agree that your choice is wise or sustainable, and I hope you get to look back and see that my arguement has some value.
But, good luck with it, hope you get there, wherever there is.
Crikey, maybe you don't have all the answers.
I think in this case all arguments have some value, mental illness is a fickle mistress and stikes each in a different way. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and send nothing but good thoughts to anyone who has suffered from or dealt with it, good luck to sharki on his way back.
Al, when I think of the absolute bollocks I made of my life for a time, I couldn't agree more.
I'm aware that my comment here comes across in a way that looks unpleasant, and makes me sound like a knob. I'm kind of speaking from the heart about this because I so nearly chucked everything away.
I wish him well, its a bad way to feel, but geography doesn't heal stuff.
Crikey, and i'm not having a go here cos you've obviously been where i have and know it all too well, i dont think its as much about geography as it is about finding a way of life that can sustain peace of mind and content. No amount of pills can bring you self content, they can remove symptoms and take the edge off but they cant make you function in a world that you dont fit into. And when you really think about it is it any different to say, someone going off to work on oil rigs, foreign contracts etc for a few months at a time??
Doog, thankyou.
I've spend pretty much the last 3 hrs trying to say just that.
No prob Sharki, welcome in Calderdale if you're ever passing through.
I must be getting old; I can't maintain any head of steam or righteous anger for long...
Sharki, do well fella, prove me wrong.... 😀
Sharki
Well, we've not met but I wish you well and hope you get to where you want and need to be in life.
Bring on the revolution too I say. I'm going to try and change things from the inside, rather than out, but if we really are to change things, then change is going to have to come from all directions I say, so good on you.
Si
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Nice bubble
theres a kid in mine, yours seems to be void of that
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[i]I'm aware that my comment here comes across in a way that looks unpleasant, and makes me sound like a knob. [/i]
not at all, i think you've just voiced what other people could be thinking and i respect you for that.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do sharki.
But I can't help wondering what will happen to your kids if their Mother also gets fed up of the "rat race" and decides to go off on her own.
Would you hand them over to the social services?
FC, i would like them to be in the most stable and suitable place of care, which i cannot and have never been able to provide.
One day i might be able to provide that, until then they're in good safe hands.
Maybe you should have a read of your opener on your "upsetting things your kids say" thread!
once one sharki.....
my aunt topped herself a year or two back. i can honestly say her kids, all her sisters (my mum and another aunt found her), family and friends would be happier if they knew she was plodding about being happy rather than being eaten by worms and other critters next to her mum in a graveyard.
the pills she was given didn't help; the problems she was having were temporarily swept under the rug.
i, too, agree that the way in which our society functions is a load of shite. too many possesions, too many responsibilities, too many worries, too much work.
maybe we need people in life doing what you are doing to help balance things out.
the rat race is a lifestyle choice, just the same as living in a log cabin eating pine needles is a life style choice. just because it's the most commonnly exercised in our society doesn't make it the best for everyone. it's certainly not for me.
and i disagree that happiness is just a fleeting emotion. sadness, pain, hunger are fleeting emotions.
i'm sure his kids will understand (i'm assuming they are relatively young) when they are older why he went walkabouts.
if you're in germany at any point, lettuce know. es gibt ein bierchen oder zwei...
J
Good luck with all your travels skarki. I cant say ive been in your shoes but was depressed a few years back from doing the same routine over and over. Feeling free is the best thing to do!!...
(and ignore all the ignorant, unwanted comments on here!)
all riders should be friends, this should be a friendly forum, back him up on his travels if its what he wants to do, he wants to go riding at the end of the day!! Good luck mate. 8)
Not going to judge you, dont know you. But sincerely hope you find what it is your looking for. Dont forget to touch base with those offspring though, if you cant be there in body at least let them know your with them in spirit. They'll understand why your doing what your doing, maybe not for a while but they will one day so stay in touch.
Good luck mate.
All the best for your journey, i hope you find what you need. I think what you are doing is a good thing, and it takes courage to get off the rat race and leave it all behind - wish i could do the same! Say hello when you are up this way 🙂
Got a big hedge that needs cut. I'm in edinburgh and have some spare LX shifters for your inbred if you need them, otherwise, a meal and a kip on my floor if you want. email in profile.
Sharki - I'm asking this because I'm genuinely interested. Please rest assured it's not meant in any mocking sense.
Reading your comments about how much greed YOU see in the world, and how YOU see people being materialistic and how it angers YOU, are you not still going to see all of those things in the world and still feel the same anger about it except this time it'll be from a different location?
I'm struggling a bit to see how your lifestyle change improves how you see the rest of us living, especially when you are still, essentially, reliant on 'the rat race' just without your own actual possesions, job, etc.
Sharki, good luck with it, you will need plenty of it.
I can't say I agree with your motives but so long that you're ok with yourself....
There's a hot meal for you at mine, in Ireland or wherever I'll be by then. And a glass or two of some red wine too.
Sharki
Thank f##k we didnt find you swinging from that tree ! It was a scarey time searching with the police. I'd like to add something positive but cant find the words.
This is all very interesting actually. I fully understand and sympathise with Sharki - although suicide isn't on my mental radar, I do feel desperately and profoundly sad sometimes about life slipping away one work-day at a time. I won't judge on the rights or wrongs of going walkabout of course. But this section is fairly revealing.
I look at the world and see only suffering from greed, jealously of another mans assets, i see stress and unhappiness as people go about their obligations to fit in, to have the next gadget, fine food, a holiday, a life.
I sit and watch people hanker after better things, then complain that there's rubbish on their £1000 tele, the cars broken down again, a newer model whatever is out and i need it to make their life easier.
There is a lot of that around, quite right. But there's a lot of other stuff too. We have a tendency to think of life as this great institution that swallows everyone up and makes you conform. Reinforced in popular culture many times over (remember the 'choose life' bit from Trainspotting etc etc).
However, this is not how it really is of course. You can make life however you want it. Or you should be able to. If you feel you can't, then that's something to work on. One of the main problems with depression is that you can only see one side of things, the bad side. Which then makes you depressed...
My lifestyle is a work in progress currently. It may take a few more years before I can truly say I am where I want to be, and there will be slip-ups. But the rat race it will definitely not be. When I finally make it to where I want to be, my family will be there too. I'm fortunate, they share my ideas (at least my wife does!).
I have to say though that from the few posts you've made it sounds like your family might be part of the problem. Perhaps something that the readers of this thread might bear in mind. Not everyone's family works for everyone concerned all the time - unfortunately.
At least give the pros a chance Sir. If they don't manage to sort you out then by all means, go walkabout.
Given your posts over the last wee while, I can't help feeling that you're teetering on the edge of the precipice.
No matter how far you run, you're still in the place where you are.
At midnight i'm not going to begin try to answer all the individual comments here.
In fact even in the morning i won't either.
What is a [i]cult[/i]ure?
An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning.
The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group.
Don't try and change who people are, your culture may not suit others just because of the country they're from because that just creates wars.
What i'm saying is, normal for you has never felt normal for me, i don't change just the option to chose.
I look at the world and see only suffering from greed, jealously of another mans assets, i see stress and unhappiness as people go about their obligations to fit in, to have the next gadget, fine food, a holiday, a life.
I sit and watch people hanker after better things, then complain that there's rubbish on their £1000 tele, the cars broken down again, a newer model whatever is out and i need it to make their life easier.
Then there's Tax, you pay tax on income, whats left you put in the bank and get taxed on saving it, so you spend it and pay tax on that. If there's anything left you can leave it there for a rainy day, or you never get to spend it, well that's useful.
Hmm, slightly worrying views there.
You must be aware there IS more 'to life' than that though, hence your 'search'. There are a multitude of mechanisms for finding the 'nice stuff in life', be it prescribed pharmecuticals or by altering lifestyle choices/holidays etc, however, by 'upping and leaving' everything behind you really are only doing just that - [b]upping and leaving everything behind[/b]!
Your views of what you'll do when you get ill are also quite concerning - the "leave me to die attitude, it's my time" would only really be happily accepted by most in the very elderly or terminally ill. What will you do if you get a scratch on a thorn? Lie there, waiting to die, or accept simple antibiotics to treat the potentially fatal cellulitis you may develop?
Running away from life and all it's troubles is quite an appeaing idea at times, but in reality 'life' will always be there, and perhaps the appropriate response to your issues would be to try to re-integrate yourself with it in order to function 'properly' as a human? This doesn't mean aiming for a high powered job with a 50" plasma at home, but maybe it means having a role, a job of sorts, a position in society?
Anyway... in the end, most people end up doing what they want regardless of the implications of their actions.......
The comments of [i]"it's your life, you live it, do want you want"[/i] are all well and true, but if everyone stuck to that idea we'd all end up in a world of sociopathic maniacs driving monster trucks through football crowds, or taking pop-shots down high-streets with a high powered sniper rifle..... showing some restraint to your wishes/desires in order to prevent causing gross unhappiness to others isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being human.....
DrP