Even with a chain line suitably adjusted for 1x , theres always at least some chain rub noise when using the biggest rear cog., plus moving the chainring  inwards too far just moves the same issue to the smallest cassette cogs instead.

Is the chain running straight when in the middle cog ?

Thats what i'd aim for as a compromise without knowing any further details of your set-up

If everything is new then you'll get a bit of noise but once it all wears in then things quieten down. Does depend on the chain IME with Shimano being the noisiest but this might change now that the big S has finally released "official" 1x systems.

Get the chainline right for the middle of the cassette and you will be fine. If you use the big cog most then err to the inbound side, vice versa if you use the little cog the most.

IMO it's just not something you really need to worry about with 1x- though it's not a bad idea to move hte chain inboard a little bit if you can since you'll usually spend more time and pedal harder in the lower gears, and that's also where there's less chain slack available.

Also, some newer cassettes are just a bit noisier, and the more expensive/lighter they are the more that happens, as they're very hollow and machined out- the SRAM XD cassettes especially.

3mm or 3.5mm spacers are better than 2mm and closer to a 49/50mm chainline. Keep the bb spacer where it should be, it'll only give you more issues if you put it on the wrong side.
It's always noisier in the extreme gear, especially with a new N/W chainring.
I got some spacers at jejames for 75p each.

Ta, that clears a lot of things up. I don't use the big ring much (I live in Essex and it's not exactly mountainous round here) so I might see how I get on, then try adding spacers if I really can't stand it anymore!