[Closed] Faux pas

DMR V8's on my cx commuter....

The shame of it.

My tyre logo's don't line up with my valves.

I once wore elbow pads and a wifebeater. But it's ok cos I was shredding up brown pow roosts for my sick edit all the way down. Or something.

My wheels are too small.

I rode a carbon road bike with flat pedals and wearing baggies... Oh and it had disks.

I own a lightweight, mint, 23lb ish race bike - for my humble income it's a veritable wet dream of a bike.

I've never entered a race.

Jon, props braw!

My nice road bikes stem isn't slammed, and it's headtube is too long.

My nice road bikes stem isn't slammed, and it's headtube is too long.

My bike is a Specialized

Oh, dear God ! - is it a sportive bike ?

Adjustable stem pointing skywards and a top tube box?

My fox fork and shock has colour red in the dial.. Throw away my black and torquise colour combi frame 👿

I wear bright green and don't actually race enduro.

It would seem it's turning up on road rides with a peaked helmet, a loose fitting jersey and Sidi Dominators with SPDs (not the roadie ones with no soles and half a plastic fruit crate stuck on the bottom). Oh, and occasionally a rack on my bike. (I though the Rules were tongue-in-cheek and not a code to be strictly adhered to, but I'm guessing I was mistaken)

My mountain bike has a bell - and I use it!

Bento box on a MTB (long races) - tri habits die hard

My cross bike had flats on it.
I just cut down the bars on my enduro bike as they were too wide

Oh, dear God ! - is it a sportive bike ?

Worse, it's a race bike with more relaxed, upright, comfy geo....

Madone (oh God, it's a Trek too!) is the racey bit, H2 geo is the embarrassing bit.

At least the stem isn't flipped upwards...

I'm fat with no sense of balance.

I wear a roadie lid and lycra on road and off.

My mtb has 26inch wheels, 27 gears and a triple.
It's 8 years old.

My road bike is a Trek.
It has mudguards and a seatpack.
It's 18 years old.

I sometimes wear a Specialized logo'd top, Giant logo'd bib shorts whilst riding my Cannondale road bike...

I used to ride with bar ends on risers.......

Last decade's colours. [/the shame]

my cycling clothing is made up from, checked cotton shirts, cargo shorts and nike footie trainers.

My tyre logo's don't line up with my valves

^^ this--but in my defense, having them lined up never made it go faster or uphill easier

I have a 26er with narrow wheels. Ride a 16 speed road bike with baggys and a peaked helmet. And I use....gasp....inner tubes!

I STILL have bar ends on riser bars. On both bikes.

I've destickered my roadie wheels. But got called indoors before I could do the other side.

Thomson bar, easton stem, sram drivetrain, shimano brakes, one crest, one arch ex, specialized saddle and tyres. All carefully selected to suit me. Offending the arbiters is just a bonus.

I haven't washed my road bike for probably a thousand miles 😀

(and I seem to sweat a LOT) 😳

Bell on my dh bike.
Spds, 15mm of spacers and a stem with 5degrees of rise on my already massive headtubed road bike. Which also has not-matching groupset. And another bell. And a saddlebag.
All my dh clothing/pad/helmet are horrendously mismatching, and then bike itself matches even less.
Oh and 100mm 'normal' (ie 25.4mm) stems on my xc and singlespeeds.

I have On One Mary bars fitted to my Kona Phd, and they are fitted up side down.

when I rode out to watch the tour I was wearing mtb gear - baggies, camebak, shoes i can walk in - on the road bike. Some lycra clad roadie looked me up and down making a dismissive pffff noise as I rode slowly past. I could have been ashamed but I was comforted by being able to sit down on the grass without getting my arse spiked by gorse or getting damp.

So many...

I still own not one but two mountain bikes with 32mm diameter stanchion forks, and I still can't really tell if they're too flexy or not...

I use SPDs for everything...

I own a fixie...

I ride a Road bike without shaven legs...

My Road bikes stem is not slammed...

I wear Purple and fluro green on and MTB and don't race #Enduro...

I own some "B-twinn" and "Crane" cycling kit and actually quite like some of it...

I've been known to wear baggies on my CX bike.
Even a camelbak once!

Just for you AlexSimon

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I haven't washed my road bike for probably a thousand miles

I have never washed my road bike 😯

I rode my mtb into work this morning, proper enduro style, i had my full face lid strapped to my bag, but din't go off road once!

Stem flipped on my Look carbon road bike.
Eggbeaters and MTB shoes.
About to buy a Trek (didn't know this was wrong til I read above), can't decide between Madone and Emonda and only just realised they are anagrams!

my road bike has a compact, and a 30tooth cassette (the stem points up, and it is most definitely not slammed).

my mountain bike has a granny ring.

my commuter has a bell - and the same stem configuration as my road bike.

About to buy a Trek (didn't know this was wrong til I read above), can't decide between Madone and Emonda and only just realised they are anagrams!

And Domane.

I was interested to note that the top Emondas only come in the aforementioned H2 'sportive' geometry. The cheaper ones come in 'mans' H1 geo as well.

The following list show what strength of character I have to have to actually get on a bike! 😀 As a cyclist everything about me and my gear is a Faux Pas!

1. I am very over weight - in fact fat.

2. None of my riding gear matches. Even without the fat I need big clothes so have to buy what fits! When you're fat what fits needs to be loose fitting. Most cycling gear appears to have the wrong size written on it - usually by a factor of two sizes! I wear XL in everyday clothes but frequently have to find XXXL in riding gear. I often look like a rodeo clown on a bike!

3. My MTB is a Specialized and is 7 years old complete with small wheels. It is made of metal. It has a triple and the granny could definitely be smaller! The cassette is an 11-36.

4. My road bike is an old Boardman frame that I got for £60 quid from Re-cycle. It has a slightly damaged Campag Veloce groupset (compact of course) and a 13-29 cassette. I weigh so much I don't have to pedal downhill to go fast. A pair of tubeless wheels that I built myself - this in itself creates a fair few funny looks. The fork is Kinesis. The stem points upwards and there is a maximum stack on top of an already huge stearer tube. I'd like more height here but run the risk of riding a chopper.

I win, I win, my road bike's got three, yes three chainrings!

I ride a boardman Team FS, that i bought from Halfords. You all lose!

Posting about tyres on STW.

I own a Trek Madone AND a Boardman FS from Halfords. I also run the pedals it came with.

Loads..

Both MTB's have small wheels and no carbon. One even has coil forks and 1 1/8th steerer...and isn't dropper post compatible.

I also where some green stuff and don't race Enduro...I just liked it.

I use a hydration pack and don't fill it with everthing under the sun - just the basics.

I ride trail centres and even enjoy them (I know that's worthy of an STW lynching).

My road bike is a Specialized and I used a saddle bag.

I tend to wear lots of Scott stuff because its cheap from Start Cycles despite riding said Specialized.

I don't shave my legs despite wearing lycra.

I don't like riding my road bike in the wet despite what the rules say.

I use two water bottles for longer rides and they don't match.

There's probably lots more too.

triple on the road bike

riser bars and bar ends

I don't wear shades when riding my road bike ....

I ride a Folder

...damn, forgot to add that it still has the pedals it came with, too!

I wear Fox Racing baggy shorts and Five Ten flats on my drop handlebar bike.
My hardtail has huge 80s style bar ends.

I used to do iron-distance triathlons. That whole enterprise is a cycling faux pas.

I also have a triple on the road bike, and have never used the granny ring.

none - couldn't give a crap what anyone else thinks.

On my 'bike of many hats' (CdF):

[list][*]Full length mudguards[/*]
[*]Saddlebag[/*]
[*]Cheap flat pedals[/*]
[*]5-10s[/*]
[*]Baggies[/*]
[*]Dork disc[/*]
[*]Hamax bracket[/*]
[*]Not a care in the world[/*][/list]

Anyone who has said barends on risers should probably just leave!