Ebike bingo

Thought I'd ask Google Gemini to come up with an ebike bingo. To be fair I might stop trying to write posts and just get AI (llm) to do it.

This is a list for the grizzled veterans of the **Singletrackworld (STW)** forums—the ones who remember the "good old days" of square taper BBs and who find themselves in a perpetual state of "The Forum Debate" regarding the electric assist.
Print this out, head to your local trail center (or more likely, open the latest "Is this an e-bike or a motorbike?" thread), and mark off a square whenever you encounter these STW classics. The "Singletrackworld E-Bike Bingo" Card

Moped!

I’m getting more laps in"

"My knees are shot"

Full-fat vs SL*l

"It’s a motor-vehicle"

Middle-aged man in pristine Fox kit

"Uphill flow" (uttered unironically)

Derestricted/ Dongled

"I still have my acoustic bike"

Broken motor after 200 miles

The "Heart Attack" defense

Heavy breathing on Boost mode

Reference to Hebden Bridge or 26" wheels

"It's just a tool'

Battery anxiety at the halfway point

"Cheating" (used as bait)

The 25kg "Hike-a-bike" fail

"Wait for me at the top"

Overtaking a XC racer on a 20% incline

Cleaning a tech climb you used to walk

"I'm fitter now than ever"

Firmware update failed

"Cheating yourself"

Costing more than a used Skoda

"It’s basically a downhill bike"

### The Rules & Definitions (STW Edition)
**The "Knees" Square:** This must be marked if a rider over 45 justifies their purchase by mentioning a meniscus tear from 1994 or a "dodgy hip" while they proceed to smash out a 4,000ft climbing day.

* **The "Acoustic" Square:** Mark this when someone uses the word "acoustic" or "analog" to describe a normal bike, immediately triggering a 14-page argument about why those terms are pretentious.

* **The "Uphill Flow" Square:** Only valid if the rider says it with a straight face while their motor is whirring like a disgruntled washing machine.

* **The "Hebden Bridge" Free Space:** Automatically marked if the conversation mentions the STW home turf or the "steep, technical valleys" where an e-bike is "actually quite sensible, really."

* **The "Skoda" Square:** Mark this if the e-bike in question cost more than £7,000, leading to a forum comment stating: *"I could buy a decent MX bike/small hatchback/half a divorce for that."*

* **The "Purist" Bait:** Mark this if a thread reaches page 3 and someone simply posts the word "Moped" just to watch the ensuing chaos.
**WINNING CONDITION:**

First person to get a full line must treat the group to a round of artisanal coffee and overpriced cake at the trail center cafe, while complaining about the weight of their bike on the rack.