Thought I'd ask Google Gemini to come up with an ebike bingo. To be fair I might stop trying to write posts and just get AI (llm) to do it.
This is a list for the grizzled veterans of the **Singletrackworld (STW)** forums—the ones who remember the "good old days" of square taper BBs and who find themselves in a perpetual state of "The Forum Debate" regarding the electric assist.
Print this out, head to your local trail center (or more likely, open the latest "Is this an e-bike or a motorbike?" thread), and mark off a square whenever you encounter these STW classics. The "Singletrackworld E-Bike Bingo" Card
Moped!
I’m getting more laps in"
"My knees are shot"
Full-fat vs SL*l
"It’s a motor-vehicle"
Middle-aged man in pristine Fox kit
"Uphill flow" (uttered unironically)
Derestricted/ Dongled
"I still have my acoustic bike"
Broken motor after 200 miles
The "Heart Attack" defense
Heavy breathing on Boost mode
Reference to Hebden Bridge or 26" wheels
"It's just a tool'
Battery anxiety at the halfway point
"Cheating" (used as bait)
The 25kg "Hike-a-bike" fail
"Wait for me at the top"
Overtaking a XC racer on a 20% incline
Cleaning a tech climb you used to walk
"I'm fitter now than ever"
Firmware update failed
"Cheating yourself"
Costing more than a used Skoda
"It’s basically a downhill bike"
### The Rules & Definitions (STW Edition)
**The "Knees" Square:** This must be marked if a rider over 45 justifies their purchase by mentioning a meniscus tear from 1994 or a "dodgy hip" while they proceed to smash out a 4,000ft climbing day.
* **The "Acoustic" Square:** Mark this when someone uses the word "acoustic" or "analog" to describe a normal bike, immediately triggering a 14-page argument about why those terms are pretentious.
* **The "Uphill Flow" Square:** Only valid if the rider says it with a straight face while their motor is whirring like a disgruntled washing machine.
* **The "Hebden Bridge" Free Space:** Automatically marked if the conversation mentions the STW home turf or the "steep, technical valleys" where an e-bike is "actually quite sensible, really."
* **The "Skoda" Square:** Mark this if the e-bike in question cost more than £7,000, leading to a forum comment stating: *"I could buy a decent MX bike/small hatchback/half a divorce for that."*
* **The "Purist" Bait:** Mark this if a thread reaches page 3 and someone simply posts the word "Moped" just to watch the ensuing chaos.
**WINNING CONDITION:**
First person to get a full line must treat the group to a round of artisanal coffee and overpriced cake at the trail center cafe, while complaining about the weight of their bike on the rack.
