Best bike name ever?

Gnarpoon

A product of here/Northwind I believe. The bike it was destined for never saw the light of day though.

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

Giant Butte

Roberts Dogs Bolx or D.O.G.S B.O.L.X as i believe it was also known as.

Street Wolf.

Just don't look at the actual bike.

Giant Butte

My mate Hugh Janus had one of those!

Apollo Creed.

shite bike, cool name.

Both of my favourites are terribly inappropriate in 2023, but I like G-Bikes the Bitch and S&M's Menstrual Cycle.

Roberts Dogs Bolx or D.O.G.S B.O.L.X as i believe it was also known as.

Not to be confused with Dave Yates' D.O.N.K.I.S  N.O.B. Does anyone remember what they stand for?

FYI: No Cove names are good unless you're 12.

I always liked the fact that the singlespeed version of the old Cotic Soul was called the Simple, as in 'Simple Soul'

Genesis used to do the 'Core' MTB range with 26" wheels and then did a 29" version and called it the Mantle, which I thought was quite clever.

S&M's first lightweight race BMX frame was called the Challenger, the joke being that it'd fall apart if it got too far off the ground. Bit dark.

Cove StiFE - Pole position

Ragley Piglet - second place

Cove Shocker - honourable mention.

Great thread idea this.

Roberts Dogs Bolx or D.O.G.S B.O.L.X as i believe it was also known as.

Anyone remember when Justin Loretz had his on Blue Peter - it was a new presenter challenge (can't remember which presenter!) and the challenge was an XC MTB race at Plymouth, complete with the famous Pipeline descent.

Loretz was there to do some MTB coaching in advance of the race but the production team got the Tippex onto the bike name, I think it ended up as
D. .G.S.B. .L.X

Trek 3700

Maybe not

Jumping jack flash. 

I always liked the fact that the singlespeed version of the old Cotic Soul was called the Simple, as in ‘Simple Soul’

Thanks. That one was my doing. And I am a simple soul myself, really.

I was listening to this a lot at the time...

It had a pitched down vocal sample going...

"I'M A SIMPLE MAN, WITH A SIMPLE PLAN..."

Mountain Goat Whiskeytown Racer

Mid 80s steel iirc

Or maybe the Off-Road Toad

I once bought a Cove Handjob from the classifieds. The guy’s OH worked not far from me and he left it with her for me to collect.
Not my proudest moment having to announce to a room full of female veterinary nurses that I had come for the handjob 😩

I always thought the Fact that Maverick frames all had a name rather than a serial number pretty cool... Certainly made them more individual.

My Durance frame was named "Medusa"... 👍🏻

Dialled Bikes' "Prince Albert" was quite appropriately named too...

Airborne had some great names.  I had a Black Widow.  

My track bike is called "Dorothy". The red pedals dunnit for me.

Obvious name is obvious: CarryMe. Cool name for a tiny bike now made by pacific.

And the best bike name ever? Has to be Chopper.

Never named my bikes before, but my new BFE max is coloured Magenta... 

Cannondale Beast of the East

Forbidden Dreadnought.

I used to think that Gnarpoon was a generic term used for any bike used for riding gnarly terrain.

Top contenders:

On-One Pompino (google it - NSFW)

IBIS Hakka Lugi cx bike

I ride an Ice Cream Truck 🍦🚐

Seems quite befitting.

I like the Shand names.  Bahookie, Stoater etc.  All great names

Cotic Sofa

Shand Handy

Can't believe neither of them took up my suggestions 😢

I used to think that Gnarpoon was a generic term used for any bike used for riding gnarly terrain.

It was, though iirc it wasn’t entirely complimentary, as it tended to refer to a big bike and its middle aged rider shredding the gnar on a trail centre blue.

Then Sick bikes came along and wanted to use it for their ill-fated 180mm 29er trail bike, which only ever got as far as the rendering stage, can’t remember if anyone lost money on that one though, possibly.

Betty Leeds was a random one. It’d have been interesting to know how Fixie Inc arrived at that for a steel road bike.

Orange clockwork is pretty good I recon

I rode around on a xl stiffee for many years. Almost entirely with a straight face 😉

I rode it round a class room full of year 9 once to demonstrate disk brakes and force multipliers. One kid clocked I was riding around on a massive Stiffee. He still brought it up years later 😄

I considered a pole tarvial for a while. I decided I didn't want to spend ages riding a massive pole.

Maybe I grew up (a bit) in 20 years

Hand Shandy

@matt

1998 kona brochure I think?

Used to have a (1987) Fisher Hoo Koo e Koo. Got stolen several years later and I ended up with a Ridgeback 401LX as a replacement.....didn't really have the same ring to it

Still in road biking their was only one name I ever wanted on my crossbar back in the 80s

Team Replica

Evil Chamois Hagar

Cove Handjob.
Not to be put on the xmas list you give to your parents.

Sorry, best bike name ever, I thought this was worst bike name ever. More usual thread for this place.

Always liked the Banshee Names. Spifire, Titan, Rune, Legend etc.

Canfield Bros "Big Fat Fatty Fat" will never be beaten IMO

Evil Chamois Hagar

I remember the pinkbike commenters (mainly us/canada) going wild for this but I never got the joke.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sammy_Hagar

I used to share a childish smirk (which was fine for him as he was a teenager - I was 40 so maybe not so much) with an Italian student I taught at my On One Pompino parked at the back of the classroom.

I always fancied a Turner Burner, simply because you could ride a big boy's bike that had the same name as your bike as a little boy.

Apollo Creed by a mile!

Not at all niche, and probably so familiar that no one really notices, but  Stumpjumper and Rockhopper are really great names for mountain bikes