[Closed] Are you this Dad?

Sounds crap to have kids, they slow you down. Glad I dont have any 🙂

Yep, people don't seem to get it. They get their kids something heavy that barely works and wonder why they don't ride it :(. Often all is takes is a small bump up in price to get something that looks great and they want to ride

Got my daughter a Trek Skye and it was a brilliant move. Gets ridden all the time now

[i]they slow you down[/i]

And then one day you're slowing them down and it suddenly feels like you've passed the baton on.

Which not only makes you feel a bit old but gives you a warm glow inside that you know will last the rest of your life.

Don't see a problem. Does the little bastards good.

If you have got kids, don't take them to Swinley.

Seeing as I'm the perfect parent*, heres how to do it....

[img] [/img]

Decent bike + accessorised with pink stuff + usual leisurely pace + Camelback full of fizzy pop, crisps and chocolate = big grins 😀

* I'm not

binners 🙂

although I got vertigo as I scrolled the page past that image, I thought I was falling over.

Camelback full of fizzy pop

Not me - I ride a unicycle when I go riding with my kids, so it's just as hard for me!

[quote=binners ]Decent bike + accessorised with pink stuff + usual leisurely pace = Camelback full of fizzy pop, crisps and chocolate = big grins
* I'm not

+ learning to ride berms

No and if you ever hear of me behaving this way you can punch me.

IMO this is bullying and to be bullyed by the people who should protect you above anything else is a disgrace.

Not me, but it'll likely be Friston and I do ride there with my boy. I'm not quite such a **** though!

He's quite handy on an mtb is Grayson.

At that age my son was a proper kamikaze pilot and would have a go at riding anything - sensible or not! So it was quite the reverse - me trying to manage him riding stuff that was suitable for his capabilities etc.

Later that day

[img] [/img]

Dammit Dezb

It's not just dads , I took a woman out riding as she was getting her confidence back after splitting up with her boyfriend. She had a Halfords £200 bike with rim brakes and he had taken her round kirroughtree on it .I told her I would have shart meself.

Partly. I remember telling him to pedal his bike up to spooky wood and stop pushing (it wasn't a shit bike it was a trek 4400). Think he is glad for it now he's quite active (still bikes though he nicks mine now) and a tech in the RAF.

Dammit Dezb

😆

Not that Dad but my wife is a bit short in the patience department when we take the kids out cycling, have to remind her that they have tiny wheels and fairly short attention spans.

Decent bike + accessorised with pink stuff + usual leisurely pace + Camelback full of fizzy pop, crisps and chocolate = big grins

You just have to remember that when you're riding with your kids it's about them not you.

If they have an awesome time, you'll have a an awesome time too.

That and haribo.

Had a similar thing a couple of months back.

Two dad's & their lads came past me on a section of trail (I'd stopped for a drink).
They all went tearing off and the one lad looked like he was having an issue., further down the trail I came across the lad with his chain jammed up and his rear mech not looking too healthy.
Stayed for a few minutes to see if I could bodge it and try to get him going but had limited tools with me and he had none.

So as he starts walking up the trail I tootle off and see Dad & others sitting there at the start of the next section looking at their watches chunnering to each other.

I pointed out that they might want to walk back and help him as he has a mechanical.

Good job he hadn't injured himself and there'd been no one else around - how long would they have waited to go back for him??

If I'm out with my kids we stay together and go as slow as they like - no way would I belt off up the trial and leave them.

That and [s]haribo[/s] a hipflask

BPW, some slippery-ass rooty section, rainy, dark and nasty. Dad and two kids all on decent bikes but one kids was left struggling about 200m behind. He was cheerful enough, but it was a pretty treacherous section to leave a 8 yr old alone on.

Probably a stepchild.

not that dad but have been guilty of encouraging daughter to go for a longer ride than she really wanted to or was capable of. First half went great, second half, despite liberal sweets and pop ended in tears and rescue by car.

There's a line between encouraging kids to test themselves and being a bastard. Fortunately its a broad line and you ought to know when you are crossing it.

No, i am 100% determined not to be that parent and anyone who's ridden with me and my lad will vouch for this. We have a very very simple rule, if he stops enjoying it, we stop doing it.
I'd say he's currently in partial retirement from MTBing as he stopped feeling it... About 4 weeks after i bought him the Whyte T403 actually LOL.

Not me, mine are better than me at everything.

Not mountain biking but one of the funniest sights (for us) i've seen was on a bank holiday, with great weather a lady stuck halfway across Crib Goch with a queue of people behind waiting to get across the ridge, just shouting to her fella "this might be your idea of ****in fun, but it's not my idea of ****in, you can stick Snowdon up yer a**e you ****er" at the top of her voice!

^ I enjoyed this post

Yep, people don't seem to get it. They get their kids something heavy that barely works and wonder why they don't ride it :(. Often all is takes is a small bump up in price to get something that looks great and they want to ride

Got my daughter a Trek Skye and it was a brilliant move. Gets ridden all the time now

All true, but it's really not about the bike - I've seen kids having a great old time on BSO £75-from-Sports-Direct shitters, but also the above described scene with kids on decent, expensive bikes.

Witnessed a similar type of thing at a kids play park. Dad pushing son on swing. The boy was around 6. Dad shouting to son now legs straight out going forward hard back when reversing. The kid was slow to respond. Dad gets angry and starts shouting at the kid "I'm telling you how to do it why aren't you doing what I tell you, you'll never learn".

I thought to myself if I ever do that shoot me.

TBH I kinda wish my parents had been a little more pushy. I was into loads of sports as a kid like sailing, rugby, cycling, orienteering, and living in North Wales there were more opportunities for all those than you could shake a proverbial stick at. But for the most part I was just left to get on with it and do whatever I liked (on my own seeing as we lived in the sticks).

I do wonder if I might actually have been good at rugby, cycling or sailing, rather than average if I'd been dragged out to a club for training every week rather than just for fun.

There's a line between encouraging kids to test themselves and being a bastard. Fortunately its a broad line and you ought to know when you are crossing it.

Having tried to cajole my nephew into cycling (he enjoyed it but didn't stick with it). I came to the conclusion that sometimes between being a kid and a teenager or adult some people learn that 'fun' isn't necessarily handed to you on a plate in the form of a brightly coloured toy or video game.

Those that get it; go on to do outdoorsy sports through their adult lives.

Those that don't; join gyms and see it as a necessary evil to meet other ends (looking good, staying healthy for the sake of it), join 5-a-side leagues, or go for one afternoon's surf lesson on a stag do (instant gratification, low barrier to entry sport).

if he stops enjoying it, we stop doing it.

Can this also please be applied to me on my saturday morning group rides.

Now that my son is beating me at XC (& I'm not slow), I'm now the one crying half way up the hill !!!!! That's my comeuppance for being a tough dad 😉

i went with my son to watch the kids race at the local CX race.

it was an eyeopener..

I believe in the Carrot and Stick approach.

First hit them with the stick, then hit them with the carrot.

My 11yr old son is a dedicated coach potato with a love of computer games and a real lazy streak. He's also particularly fond of helping himself to food. The upshot is we had an episode in the summer where he admitted to me he felt uncomfortable about playing in the pool with the other kids as he was to fat.

This was heartbreaking as a dad so I promised him we'd work together to make him feel positive about himself. I suggested we go cycling together. He said he'd prefer to run. That was the wrong answer but I wanted him to lead so running it was.

The thing is the first attempt he gave it his best for all of 45 seconds and then wanted to go home. When I pointed out we haven't reached the end of our road he went full on stroppy teenager. He proceeded to pant and wheeze like he was having a seizure, whinging and crying, claiming I was going to injure him or he was going to collapse. Now I know my son and this was all for effect as he wanted to get back to the TV. I pushed him round and forced him to finish. To any onlooker would have looked like such an arsehole.

However, the next time it was a bit better and the time after that it was OK and afterwards he thanked me for making him do it and now a few weeks down the line he's feeling far more confident and happy added to that he is physically healthier.

I guess my point is that in some cases what may look like a pushy dad is actually a dad doing the best they can for their kid, admittedly not always but you can't judge without all the evidence.

Conversation with my daughter, cycling to school this morning:

"I think I'll be quicker than you dad, when I'm older"
"Probably"
"Maybe when I'm 7 or 8?".

She could be right.

I was once out cycling with my family and as we approached the end of the ride (on the Manifold Trail in Derbyshire) we passed another family parked up at the side of the trail. The youngest daughter, around 6 years old, was off the bike with her arms folded and Dad was remonstrating with her:

"Look, just man up and get back on the bike!"

As we passed, my kids turned to me and, almost in unison said, "Oooh, look Daddy, he sounds just like you!"

==================================

OK, so I am "that dad" and a bit of a pushy parent when it comes to cycling. I expect a lot from my kids, especially my son. I know what his capabilities are and I've got a really good idea of how far I can push him when he's out riding and at what point he'll have had enough. It's a tough balance, but I am pretty sure that I get it right more often than I get it wrong. Being brutal, kids are lazy and would much prefer to sit on the sofa than exercise, but with a bit of encouragement they can learn about the deep joy that comes from hard, physical exertion and conquering a challenge that most people wouldn't think of doing.

So yes, you will sometimes see us riding up a steep hill, 50 miles into a ride, with my son in tears, bellowing obscenities at me, while I tell him to "man up and push harder for the top!" but I do it because I know that [i]he[/i] can do it, and I know he'll be glad that I did. And you know what, when he goes into school the next day, it'll be all he wants to talk about.

And then, sometimes, like last Sunday when in the last 5 miles of a pretty tough endurance event we hit the hardest possible terrain (moorland, thick mud and ruts), he suddenly exploded into life and was riding so quickly I couldn't keep up. When we reached the end of the moor, I admitted that I wasn't sure he'd be able to ride it and he replied that he wanted to go back and ride it again. Thirty minutes later, as we rode the last mile of the ride (up a monstrous bloody hill to the finish too!) he turned to me and said "Dad, I love doing these rides with you because you make it so much fun", I might have got a little bit of a fly in my eye and had to turn away to get it out again...

For those that don't have kids, I don't blame you for being glad you have the freedom to ride where you want at whatever speed you want to go at, but for those that do choose to ride with their kids, you'll probably understand that nothing you'll ever do yourself on a bike will compare with watching your own child master their own.

I'm going to go and get this bloody fly out of my eye now.

Sometimes, it's so bloody frustrating that my Son at 9 didn't love the same thing I found by accident at 28. I understand this is my fault, and partly his Mums.

He's always had decent bikes, I've never been tempted to drop £1000 on one of those half-sized Commencals, although if he'd asked I might have.

Truthfully, to him riding has become a chore, 2 years ago he seemed to decide one day that he no longer wanted to run about mad as lorries with boundless energy, nope he wanted to sit in front of a screen on Minecraft and others such stuff - I did EXACTLY the same thing at his age, the little kid who loved riding with Dad didn't want to go anymore, so I'd talk him into it, he'd moan, because he was going against his will and really it doesn't matter if you take them to Disney World on free ice cream day, if they're going against their will they will no enjoy it and nothing will change their mind.

A few weeks ago we took a trip down to Brechfa to ride the Green, it was late in the day and he, as usual, didn't want to go - his Mum who's always worried about him being active had tried to talk him into it and when that didn't work blackmailed him into it, frankly I wasn't keen, but I tried not to let it show - it's about an hours drive, firstly he was pretty happy, but only because he thought we were going to Brecon to ride this little 600m long kiddie trail he rode when he was 5, then he remembered what Brechfa was actually like - the deal making started "can we ride up to the picnic tabled and come back down, something we did when he was about 8 - no, that's a 15 min ride after an hours drive, he grumps, "how long is it" "8k" "how long??" "about an hour" grumps again, about 10 mins later the battery went on his phone and he looked ready to jump from the Van onto the M4 and end it all.

We arrived, he took an age to get ready because he really didn't want to go - he was hoping for a storm to arrive or the earth to shift on is axis a bit and make it dark already, finally we got going, I was glad to notice he still enjoyed the descents, but not like I do, he's glad to just be moving without having to pedal, he rides like an old lady, because he doesn't want to ride any faster. He sort of got into it and was glad to see he could make climbs now, he couldn't a few years ago, but he was glad to finish, well after he grumped that the end of the final descent fished downhill of where we parked and asked aloud to no one in particular why we couldn't have just rolled down the fireroad instead.

As we got back to the Van I noticed his 'new' 24" bike is getting a bit small for him, the local lads his age have already progressed to 26" Small frames (and seem to only be interested in pulling massive wheelies in the middle of the road to annoy drivers). The saddest part of that is, it's not actually that 'new' it'll be 2 years old this Xmas, it looks new because I maintain it (he won't) and in the last 2 years it's only been ridden five times, maybe six. I paid extra for that one because it had cable discs, I told him when he wanted a bit more I'd fit my old Deore hydrualics to it - I gave them to a mate a while back, he never wanted them.

My Wife and I both hoped that one day, when he was bigger and stronger he'd join me at the weekends and we'd share a hobby, but it's not going to happen - he's just not into it, he's had cool bikes, he's rode Afan, Breacfa, BPW with the kids club, even the Alps on the green runs.

We've both quit it, his Mum doesn't really get it yet, but he doesn't like riding Mountain Bikes at the moment, and having to convince, blackmail and when that fails order him to do the very thing I love to do, and would do more of, if only I had the time is pretty soul destroying - I love the kid to bits, he loves we - why make each other so unhappy to try to make something work that doesn't.

He's 11 now, his love affair with computer games ended 3 weeks ago as suddenly as it started, now all he wants to do is go out with his mates, which causes it's own problems, but I'm glad he does - he even takes his bike from time to time, his mates think it's very cool - it's got colour coordinated seat and grips! but he's using it to ride from here to there, not up this and down that.

Being brutal, kids are lazy and would much prefer to sit on the sofa than exercise,

The sweeping generalisations are strong in this one.

Have you considered the possibility that your kids want to sit on the sofa because you make activities unenjoyable?

I believe in the Carrot and Stick approach.

First hit them with the stick, then hit them with the carrot.

The sweeping generalisations are strong in this one.

Have you considered the possibility that your kids want to sit on the sofa because you make activities unenjoyable?

"You can get in the car any time you want, but you will always have failed to ride up the Tourmalet" 😈

He rode to the top. Then promptly disappeared on the descent, whilst me and his younger brother (who was in the car with Mrs Tired) descended stylishly with appropriate caution.

I didn't have a dad.