[Closed] Anal Bleaching

In the old days if something needed bleaching it was left out in the sun. Does the sun shine there?

You'll end up with a bum like a blood orange

Well, I'm booked into a salon on Thursday in Leeds for the procedure (couldn't find one in Bradford), so wish me luck!

Thanks for the funny replies too, lol.

Hopefully it will help ease the pain and I can get back out on the bike.

Radical thought, I know, but if you have pain there that is stopping you cycling, do you not think going to see a real doctor might be the first step to take?

You're wasting your money spectacularly. If you just had the right personal hygiene routine and wore clean shorts every ride you'd soon get the spots and boils cleared up.

Shower daily and wash carefully around the undercarriage with hot soapy water. Wipe well after a poo then finish off with a couple of wipes with a wet toilet tissue. Obviously wear clean shreddies every day, washed at above 40c to kill bacteria. Do you do all this?

How has this thread made it to a second page and the mods not yet invoked the close thread button or the ban hammer!

Standards round here have really slipped!

I hate to use the word 'sticky' in this context but have you seen the thread Mark created yesterday?

It's up there ^

He's not wasting his money, [url= http://www.winstonsmassageparlour.co.uk/ ]Winstons[/url] is a popular place for that kind of shenanigans

This is a joke right 🙂

People don't seriously go places and get their rings bleached ?

Right now ,Hora is looking for shiny rings on the internet. 😉

Real men use Oven Pride.

Don't be ashamed OP, you won't be the first person to have Mr Muscle spray all over his backside.

Right now ,Hora is looking for shiny rings on the internet

I used to go out with a girl- she had a smooth 'ass but a dark and hairy ring. Really really weird but how do you tell/broach the subject?

It was weird looking down at it. Like a forested-island on a cream sea.

[i]It was weird looking down at it. Like a forested-island on a cream sea.
[/i]
And thus the internet was closed as everything that could ever have been said had been said.
</internet>

Those Amazon reviews made me laugh a lot! I'm no serial arse shaving freak but when training for LeJog suffered from a really badly blistered ass crack courtesy of my badger haired crack! The Veet approach meant i suffered temporary pain sensations to ensure I could complete my challenge and gather all the sponsorship money I had raised. 🙂

Right that's at least 3 keyboards you owe me now, having made me spit coffee over them Hora!!! 👿

Loco- the 'funny' thing was you could see the individual airs moving in a slight breeze.

No wonder some people have the lights off during nookietime 😯

A friend of mine suffered an anal fistula that was caused by a hair growing back under the skin. When they dug it out it was a couple of feet long, curled up in a ball.

I'd rather not shave my backside as I'd be too worried about infected follicles or hairs growing out through the sides, causing folliculitis. Lots of Africans suffer from this problem; they shave and the hair retracts into the follicle then being curly, dives out sideways causing an infection and a bump. They have to use a depilatory powder, which stinks. I just fit a cutter depth thingy to my beard trimmer and give the rear end a no. 3 all over, which keeps the hairs but reduces tugging and clagging.

Jesus, how hairy are you people?!!!!!!!!

[img] [/img]

A friend of mine suffered an anal fistula that was caused by a hair growing back under the skin. When they dug it out it was a couple of feet long, curled up in a ball.

Nah, not having that. If the hairs really grew to 2 foot long, I'd have a pony tail out of my bumcrack, because in 46 years I've never been close to my arse hair with a razor, clippers, or any other powder or potion.

D'Oh! Your body hairs actually break off and wear out. This is what gives rise to the myth that shaving actually encourages hair growth - instead of a worn out and thinly tapering old hair suddenly people see the full-thickness new hair emerging from the follicle and think: "Blimey! My hair done grow thicker!"

I'd have a pony tail out of my bumcrack

I just can't get this image out of my head....tremendous reading chaps.....made up for a rubbish day in the office.

globalti - Member

When they dug it out it was a couple of feet long, curled up in a ball.

You know you're in trouble when your bumhair makes it into your nuts

I just fit a cutter depth thingy to my beard trimmer and give the rear end a no. 3 all over, which keeps the hairs but reduces tugging and clagging.

[i]I just can't get this image out of my head[/i]

"Like the back end of a Thelwell pony he were"

A frickin salon?
Did you phone up and say "I'd like you to bleach my anus" with a straight face?
They can't have agreed to do it surely???
Have you got some small talk lined up ready?

I've written the whole 30 minute episode to a sitcom based on this thread. In which the grand dénouement has to be turning up at the salon, handing over £30 (I'm guessing, I don't know), the cosmetic proctologist (they have cosmetic surgeons, dentists, etc., so I'm assuming there's an anal equivalent - again I don't actually know) pulls on her latex gloves...... and then produces a pack of Domestos wipes. At which point the op pulls up his trousers and legs it.

Leaving her to comment that she was only going to sanitise the bench before they start.

[i]Here's[/i] BARRY!

[img] [/img]

Someone please tell me Anal Bleaching isn't really a thing!

Is the OP really called botanybay? Really? I hope he changes his name after Thursday.

[url= ]have you made up your mind or will you decide there?[/url]

you could see the individual airs moving in a slight breeze

That's downright [i]haunting[/i].

Haunting? Try going to see a Physio expecting a woman and instead a man says 'massage'? 'You ok with oil'? (aka lube).

An hour of that is haunting. That was me last Monday 😆

Is it just me or are the holy trinity (DD, CFH, Binners) all remarkably quiet on this subject, presence of Hora duly noted, (I'll never be able to look at a Dark chocolate bounty the same way again)

Suggesting either a) they have already had comments deleted and are banned, or b) it's a personal matter and they don't like to go into it on the Internet?

Yeah, cos binners is reticent about embarrassing personal issues..... 🙄

the holy trinity (DD, CFH, Binners)

[img] [/img]

I wonder what music will be playing in the salon whilst the "treatment" is taking place.Into the valley by the skids,followed by arthur brown and fire then something by creme.

Ring of Fire.

Whiter shade of pale

Binners and DD stuck in a sexswing?

I'm almost lost for words. But there's some little niggling thought bouncing about I'm my head that needs answering, OP.

You're suffering from a rash caused by chaffing of your Brillo pad arse cheeks, so instead of removing the scouring material, your planning on getting the chocolate star fish polished?

blinded by the light

Brown eyed girl, Van Morrison

This has a ring of a wind up

black holes and revelations?