[Closed] Anal Bleaching

I think I would try the snake oil first.

😯

I'd try E45 cream before any of that nonsense. Or the prescribed wisdom of chamois cream. Or just cut off my bum.

😯 +1

😯 😯 😯

😯

You been watching too much Pron ? 😆

Do you understand what the procedure involves ? Look it up on T'Internet....

It used to be really popular with roadies in the 70s, who all swore by it, until the bottom fell out of the market. I'd definately advise it, please post before/during/after pics.

qwerty - Member
It used to be really popular with roadies in the 70s, who all swore by it, until the bottom fell out of the market. I'd definately advise it, please [b]don't[/b] post before/during/after pics.

FTFY

This thread is useless without pics.

Like....put some bleach on your anus?
Sure, give it a go. Let us know how you get on.

Not really sure why i opened this thread.......but id echo wreckers comment.

fantastic sunday morning reading......this place cracks me up....pmsl

Why not just get a comfy gel butt plug instead 😀

Ive tried it...accidentally

Went for a massive dump and forgot I'd poured bleach into the toilet earlier. Massive splashback of bleachy water onto my balloon knot. Terribly unpleasant. No redeeming features.

I don't know - how bad can it actually be?

I can't be the only one who has, on several occasions, gone for my morning thinking time at work, and in my excitement at realising that I am the first one in after the cleaner has bleached the bowls, forgotten to lay down a crash mat. OK, so on those occasions there is an added bit of 'va-va-voom' when you receive Neptune's kiss, but it just wakes you up a little, no worse than that.

EDIT Too slow with my bleached toilet anecdote 🙁

I remember using the moist toilet paper at my parents house a few years back. The rising discomfort as I pulled my trews up and washed my hands led to the discovery I'd just used Parazone bleach wipes where the sun doesn't shine. Would not recommend and disappointingly my anal beard wasn't even a lighter shade as a result.

You should definitely do it and report back?

Reminds me of a slightly disturbing conversation I had wit ex gf last year...

Ex gf "you've run out of those moist toilet tissues"

Me "I've not had any for ages"

Ex gf "but there was some in the cupboard"

Me "oh god - you've not been using those wipes in the green packet, have you???"

Ex gf "..."

Disappointed, I thought this was going to be about a new Cove model.

Thegreatape

when you receive Neptune's kiss

😆 Oh, I'm actually crying with laughter. It's been a while since I've heard a phrase which has cracked me up that much...
Definitely being adopted into my vocabulary! 😀

Having watched, Banana, cucumber and Toffu, by Russel T Davies, another new word enters the great google search engine, and again i think why would you do that.

I'm not sure about the bleaching, might be worth trying this instead, just make sure you read the reviews, well worth a few moments of your time if your considering this route (or even if your not).....

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B000KKNQBK?vs=1

[img] [/img]
Before

[img] [/img]
After

Bleach is for wimps.

Try this.

[img] [/img]

I suspect the only positive effect to preventing saddle sores would be the Domestos effect - ie. Killing germs and bacteria 'down there' that may lead to infection

Could just as easily be achieved with a capful of TCP or Dettol in the bath

Sounds like the OP has fallen under the influence of Michael Jackson. I understand that during his mountain biking phase he'd spash a bit of Domestos on his saddle and ride 30 miles naked (apart from his SIDIs and full-face helmet).

PS. I once had a female colleague get very upset when I suggested that Michael Jackson's drug problems might not be entirely the fault of his doctor. She definitely wouldn't like this post. 😉

Anal bleaching is a recommended procedure for roadies wearing white lycra...

bullheart - Member
This thread is useless without pics.

Please no!

FFS. You go out on your MTB, come back and see this thread, and someone has already posted pics of a white chocolate starfish...

Sod it
[img] [/img]

Neptunes Kiss had me spitting out my Weetabix.

By the beard of Zeus!

until the bottom fell out of the market.

Or until the bottom just fell out........

In a similar fashion to Allthegear, we had the Grandparents over for Christmas a while back, grandad went upstairs after dinner and was "indisposed" for quite a while. Then comes waddling down the stares and says "your wet wipes are bit harsh"...
Cue confused looks from the family, and painfully stifled giggles from the wife and I

Veet for men, try that up the crack of your arse first to deforest.......then tell us if you'd fancy anal bleaching......I speak from experience when I couldn't find any one to back sack and crack before doing LeJog.......Veet for men does contain a specific warning as does my experience 😆

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

^ easy fix 😀
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Gives a whole new meaning to Muc-off.

I'll stick with the rash.

I think I would try the snake oil first.

As for Veet, please refer to the [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1426441680&sr=8-2&keywords=Veet ]Amazon reviews[/url]

(NSFW)

What is it with Roadies? FFS if your not swapping blood your burning off your ass hair and shaving your legs.

I don't get the stuff about harsh wet-wipes

What are they, mediswabs or something ?

🙁 😳

No, bog-cleaning wipes with bleach!

when I couldn't find any one to back sack and crack before doing LeJog.......

You are some kind of pre-ride predatory bumhole exfoliator? 😯

Ignore this lot and go for it. What could possibly go wrong with giving yourself a Harpic enema? Just don't clench and have a nice stick to grit your teeth on.

I'd apply a small quantity on an unseen area to test.