Fresh Goods Friday 249

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I’ve never been entirely trusting of weekends, you know. They lure you with their siren song of weekends past, of joy, happiness and the promise of a cracking headache on Saturday morning followed by a day of inactivity, soluble aspirin and video games, and perhaps a cheeky little bike ride. And then they crack you about the head with the cold reality of insomnia, hungry children at 6:30am, of visits to the inlaws and B&Q, and the cheeky little bike ride becomes a gaping, salivating need for escape – a ritual without which you might LITERALLY EXPLODE.


Or is that just me?

Anyway, in the paraphrased words of the late great Humph – as the capricious comb of fate smartens up the moustache of destiny, let’s see what golden nuggets of cycling dandruff are left in the tines… it’s Fresh Goods Friday!

2016 XT

DSC_0254Chipps has built up his Saracen Ariel 15x now, and it looks rather lovely, if you ask me. Not least now he’s got a pile of XT drivetrain bolted on to it.

XT Chainset

DSC_0262 Here’s the crankset. Dare I say it looks prettier than the latest XTR? Apparently I do, It’s a 1x drivetrain, this one – instead of using the typical thickthin teeth (which can have wear issues, they bulge out a bit. Does this system work a treat? We’ll let you know.

Crankset without ring: £99.99

Chainring: £49.99

XT Rear Mech

DSC_0264 A somewhat redesigned rear mech. Taller pully teeth, an adjustable clutch and somewhat differenter styling.

Price: £74.99

I’ll mention the chain here too, just because I like you.

Price: £27.99

XT Cassette

DSC_0266 Here’s the back of the 11 speed cassette. Alloy spider instead of the carbon found on the XTR – bumps the weight up a bit, but keeps the price down.

DSC_0265 Count them – 11 speeds! Fits on your regular freehub, too.

Price: £79.99

XT Shifter

DSC_0267No brakes, but here’s the 11 sp shifter mating with the XTR anyhow. Oooh, now that’s a mental image…

Price: £44.99

All this gear is available from Madison.

X-Fusion Trace RC HLR Fork – a.k.a RoughCut

DSC_025229er fork with up to 140mm travel (this one’s been tweaked for 120mm). It’s called RoughCut apparently because when they were fiddling with the damper cartridge, the rough cut first assembly was the one that worked the best -so now you know.

Sounds like some sort of Eighties action hero to me. [Adopts Gravelly Voiceover Persona]: “There’s only one man who can help. One man with the skills; the attitude, and…. *explosions* the need. ROUGHCUT. Coming to a bikeshop near you. Rated R”.

I’d watch that.

Price: £694.99

From: Upgrade

Park Tools stuff

Deluxe Shop Apron

DSC_0284Kane does his best Roman Centurion Bike Repair Man thing in this natty black apron. You’ll be happy/disappointed to learn that he’s got shorts on under there.


Bearing Cup Press

DSC_0271 What it says on the tin. It’s a lovely thing, though. And heavy if bits of it fall on your feet. Not that that’s just happened to me. *ahem*

Price: £124.99

Internal Cable Routing Kit


Wire and magnets in a cunning melange of cunning and clever. And blue. Stick your cable in one end, feed the other in to your frame and use the guiding magnets thing to lure the whole shebang out the other end. No, it doesn’t work in steel frames.

Price: £49.99

Snap Ring Pliers, set of 4

Well helloooooooooo

Um. Snap ring pliers. There are 4 of them. I’m kind of running out of things to say. Oooh, look! The GoodYear Blimp!

*runs away*

Price: TBC

Adjustable Torque Driver and Threadless Saw Guide


Carbon saws don’t fit in regular guides as the blades are too fat, apparently. So this guide is a bit like those massive loos you can get in America. Only, y’know, for saws. Not the best analogy, I’ll grant you – but hey, gimme a break. There’s a (NEW NEW NEW) torque driver too, you can stick different bits in for a variety of needs. Arranged with the guide for ‘comedy purposes’, nothing more. Lockring tools, model’s own.


Torque Driver: TBC

Carbon Guide: £39.99

Tyre Levers


“…a composite covered, steel core tyre lever set” Apparently it’s stiff and strong, yet gentle on your hands rims. Mmmmmmm.

BB tools, model’s own

Price: £14.99

Tabletop Digital Scales

DSC_0286 Good for up to 3000g so you can measure how much each chainring bolt adds to your bike, or the combined weight of the office pasty collection

Price: £34.99

Bottle opener, Chainring Nut Wrench and Professional Hex Wrench set.

It’s there – you just have to squint a bit

The most important tool in the arsenal – the humble bottle opener. And one of those handyanddidn’tknowyouneeded ones, the chainring nut tool. And some hex wrenches. Can you even *get* unprofessional Hex Wrenches? Anyhow, these ones are dedicated, and often stay late to finish the job.


Bottle opener: TBC

Chainring Nut Tool: £4.99

Hex Wrenches (Professional): £24.99

Press Fit BB Bearing Tool Set


A drifty thing for getting press-fit BB bearings out. It also comes with a handy pair of installation cups for pressing them in in the first place, with the help of a headset press. Also handy for looking a bit like eyes.

Price: £44.99

All from Madison

Answer Stein 143mm Grip

DSC_0298Inspired apparently by German beer glasses. Which is always a good thing in my opinion. Beer, that is. Glasses can be a pain, especially if the prescription’s off.

Why don’t they make beer-flavoured toothpaste?

Price: £19.99

From: Hotlines

Shimano U4E

DSC_0302YEAH! Shimano’s dedicated Enduro pack! The E stands for Enduro, see? The 4 stands for .. um. 4. The U stands for Unzen. Which is a volcano in Japan. Or a range of Volcanoes.


Here’s the front of it, with Shimano’s crossover thingy. I didn’t know volcanoes came in ranges. Do they have different spec. levels at different pricepoints? Top spec volcano is yer average climate changer, whereas the bottom spec one toots out a smoke ring every half an hour and smells slightly unhygienic.

Price: £69.99

From: Madison

Fabric Cageless Waterbottle

DSC_0306It’s a cageless waterbottle, The bottle has a couple of recesses which fit into special bolts on your frame. Nice and unobtrusive. It’s a neat idea.

Price: TBC

From: Fabric

Fabric Line and Cell Saddles

DSC_0297A couple of nifty-looking arse perches. The line is split down the middle to relieve pressure on those all-important  species-perpetuation arteries, and the Cell is air sprung for even weight distribution


Line: From £60

Cell: From £50

From: Fabric

WAHOO fitness thingys

DSC_0292A trio – a triumvirate, if you will – of technologies which attaches to your bike and tells your phone or computer via bluetooth just what you’ve been up to, you naughty boy/girl.

A total Big Brother monitoring package to help you wring every ounce of mph out of your tortured, sweating and shaking body after yet another rep, or yet another doughnut. There’s a general speed thingy, a cadence thingy and a heartrate thingy. They are compatible with Strava and a whole host of other apps to let other people know precisely how awesome you are, too. The heartrate thing can cleverly store stuff remotely to be downloaded later, so if you forget it’s on, and find yourself in a compromising situation, it’ll KNOW…


Heartrate tracker: £79.99

Speed and Cadence Sensor: £48.99

RPM and Cadence Sensor: £39.99

From Wiggle

And that’s it from us! We’re running swiftly for the door in an attempt to ride before the rain inevitably sets in again, which it will. Here’s Barney’s failed attempt to create a list of Park tools inside 15 seconds for Instagram. We thought he’d managed it, but he snatched failure from the jaws of triumph at the last moment, as he is wont to do. Here it is anyway – outtakes to follow – if you can bear to wait.





Barney Marsh takes the word ‘career’ literally, veering wildly across the road of his life, as thoroughly in control as a goldfish on the dashboard of a motorhome. He’s been, with varying degrees of success, a scientist, teacher, shop assistant, binman and, for one memorable day, a hospital laundry worker. These days, he’s a dad, husband, guitarist, and writer, also with varying degrees of success. He sometimes takes photographs. Some of them are acceptable. Occasionally he rides bikes to cast the rest of his life into sharp relief. Or just to ride through puddles. Sometimes he writes about them. Bikes, not puddles. He is a writer of rongs, a stealer of souls and a polisher of turds. He isn’t nearly as clever or as funny as he thinks he is.

More posts from Barney

Comments (7)

    £34.99 for a set of digital scales with some blue stickers on them? Really?

    watch out with the Blue SC…

    that adjustable arm is fragile as anything.. take it off and have a look at the flimsy contacts between the arm and main body..!

    mine broke when i first installed it with no force whatsoever..

    so i took it apart and put some continuous cables through instead…

    What size is the Ariel in the pics? I’m considering one of these at the moment (along with a Kili flyer) but at 5’11” I’m between the 17 and 19.

    Horatio, I’m 5ft 9in or so and I reckon I’m right between the two sizes (I can just ride that 19in in the pic with the dropper collar slammed). In your case, I’d go up a size and run the 19in.

    Hmm, thanks. Guessing it’s the same for the Kili Flyer. Just trying to get my head around the difference in geometry. Current Chameleon (2006) has as 23.5″ top tube, seem a big jump up to 24.5″.

    So, that’s 25mm more in the top tube. What’s your stem length doing in the meantime? If you were running an 80mm stem, for instance, and size down to a 50mm, that’s 30mm shorter, for the same effective reach and a longer wheelbase.

    I have ordered a 19″ Kili Flyer 🙂 You are right, I bought the Chameleon back in the days of 100mm stems and so on.

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