On the one hand, the lovely MrsIHN often complains of my occasional flatutorial nature. It’s usually “disgusting” and often “unacceptable” (even though everyone* knows that trumps are hilarious).

On the other, I’ve just been told the tonight’s dinner, egg and lentil curry, is simmering away already.

It could be an interesting evening…

*small boys. And grown men.

Madamoiselle Rodent has no sense of smell (I chose very, very carefully 8) ). However, she still occasionally finds it within herself to complain when the noise is deemed to be too intrusive…

Farts are like kids. Your own are things of beauty and wonder, to be admired as a paragon of all that is right with the world. Other peoples are horrible things that should never appear in polite company

Just remember those 3 magic little words every woman longs to hear…

Next time you fart in bed before pushing the Mrshead under the duvet hoyke a grozzle to the ceiling that way she will have to stay under, eventually she will learn the quickest way to dissipate a dropd un is to filter it out with deep breaths !

You cannot win,
You cannot break even,
You cannot get out of the game.

It’s a test….
You are like a little lab rat. It will be unacceptable to let those bad boys rip.. Yet if you don’t you’ll inflate like Violet Beauregarde and bounce off the ceiling.. Which will be unacceptable.

I predict you’d going to wake yourself up in the middle of the night having guffed with such force the duvet will have disappeared…

Phil_H – Member

You cannot win,
You cannot break even,
You cannot get out of the game.
You forgot to include:-
You are wrong!

It depends. If its going be knicker ripping loud, or just the smelliest thing ever, then fair enough, go for your life. If its just… you know…a ppppfffftttttt then no ones impressed frankly and you can keep it to yourself.

Like most things, men just aren’t as impressive as they clearly think they are. It’s a bit sad

You cannot get out of the game.

Well that’s not strictly true now is it?

You can indeed buy yourself out of the game, but it’s a high price to pay.

Usually your house, your hair and your health… 😐

nbt let one rip on our very first date. It was from that time on that I had to accept the inevitable. There is always compromise in every marriage.
I of course never trump in front of him 😳

I’m in a relatively new relationship with Ms. Houns. We had a romantic evening away last week, during the night I was woken by her laughter (Oi! Not because of that!), apparently I had farted in my sleep and woken her up, much to her amusement.

She’s a keeper