I always use the midrange supermarket own brands, I find the wipe absorbing and accurate, but I have often wondered about the benefits of a more expensive quited brand. However I have concers that wiping accuracy will be reduced and that the trade off for comfort and cost is simply not worth it. Then there are the budget own brands, its hard to resist 4 rolls at 67p, but is this a case of buy cheap buy twice? I’m certain to end up with poo all over my index finger?

Help!?

Skoda Octavia?

Blue one.

Fire XC Pros.

27.5?

Izal!

650b makes shit come alive!

Accuracy? How tricky a target are you trying to hit? It’s not like it changes position?

Life is too short to not have the bestest loo paper.

(is this thread proof that some STWers really do need help wiping their own arses?)

I got in touch with my inner self once…
I’m NEVER buying own brand loo roll again..

I’ve recently changed brand. Must be better as Strava tells me I’m quicker everywhere.

Buy cheap, wipe twice.

And endure repeated cases of “poke-through”.

Moist j-cloth and keep it in a sandwich bag. Wipe and rinse. Never buy toilet roll again. You could upgrade to microfibre for more luxury.

Advertising as it should be

(I don’t use Andrex though, too claggy)

Andrex, but in bulk from Costco. £11 for more rolls than we can actually hide in the loft.

Depends what kind of mess you’re envisaging though.

Those knitted toilet roll cosy things are really useful when you run out of actual toilet roll.

Accept no substitutes.

Flushable moist toilet wipes. Feels like heaven on the anoose.

And as a bonus for those of us lucky enough to possess a hairy cleftal horizon, it does not require over 9000 wipes to do the job.

I had to wipe my arse on the free buff from the Tweedlove ENDURO at the weekend, it was bloody lovely! Way better than any toilet roll I’m yet to experience. I didn’t quite think the folding through on the first (very messy) wipe which was a big mistake but overall I was very pleased. I should take this opportunity to apologise to anyone who happens to find the buff in the future. I burried it under some rocks so hopefully it’ll remain hidden.

Just NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER use Izal+….

Wire brush and a couple of sheets of wet & dry. 00 grade, I’m not an animal.

In seriousness,

I personally avoid buying the heavily ‘quilted’ stuff because I think it’s a con. The stuff is full of air and the roll is the same physical size, so you get considerably fewer sheets than on a conventional roll. As I have a woman in the house, I’d get through a roll every two days if I bought quilted.

Those knitted toilet roll cosy things are really useful when you run out of actual toilet roll.

As are labradors.

A good diet encourages firm stools and minimises the number of sheets required.

It’s all about the baby wipes in our house. No bog roll as I end up with a hole like a clowns mouth.

I end up with a hole like a clowns mouth

I can see why wiping was optional;

No bog roll as I end up with a hole like a clowns mouth

How do you know?

I put a mirror on the floor and look to ensure its clean 🙂

Buy cheap, wipe twice.
And endure repeated cases of “poke-through”.

Are you sure it’s the paper and not you technique?
‘A bad workman always blames his (s)tools’

^^ CFH gets his Man Servant to do that, so we’re informed 😆

if its your poo on your finger why worry?

Washlets etc – If you had poo on your arm would you wipe it off with dry toilet paper and consider the job done? – No you bloody would not.

Technology has advanced and our bottoms are a little shinier.

Singlespeeders use clumps of grass or suitable leaves if they are available.

There was a QI episode where they revealed that the very best thng for a comfy and efficient wipe was a swan’s neck.

I’ve no idea what the swan thoguht about it though.

Whatever they use at work. 😉

Don’t waste time on expensive toilet roll, instead spend it on a day’s wipe coaching. Modern toilet paper is so good that there’s no way 90% of people are wiping at anything like the limit.

slow hand clap to those folk flushing insoluable paper.

What about a bidet.

I have modeled that after 17 years a bidet will have paid for itself in saved toilet tissue (assuming 3% inflation and £2.00 for 4 rolls)

Anyone recommend a good installer?

Anyone know how to use one?

Anyone know how to use one?

No who was brought up in the UK knows and everyone is too embarrassed to ask in the shop when they buy one.

This…

Plus these…

The square brush is also really good post-coital. 😉