I’ll be going to my first ever wedding in June, of 2 friends I know from uni, so we’ve been friends for around 6 years.

I’ve enquired – as have other guests – but they’ve told us they don’t want gifts and don’t have a wedding list. (Or at least not one they’re letting us know about.)

I don’t not want to get them anything, so I’m keen to buy some vouchers. Probably somewhere like John Lewis or Marks & Spencer.

The question is – how much is it typical to spend for a wedding?

The couple and I are all at a similar stage in life: just short of 25 years old and about a year and a half into reasonable careers. Both their families are quite well off with lots of friends, so I suspect they’ll be well fed with gifts from there. Oh, and I’m an usher at the wedding too.

When some friends asked for “presence, not presents”, we just got them a small goodies box – half bottle of champagne, bottle of posh beer, £20 anne summers voucher etc etc.

Ushers – never see the point of them. Always get too drunk, and of absolute no use on the Big Day. 🙂

£30-£50 is normal i think.

Bump: anyone else got a view on this?

we did the same when we got married last year, (not asking for presents) we ended up with a lot of JL vouchers and people on average gave £20 – we have some well off ans some not so well off friends, generally the not so well off gave more money (probably why there not so well off)
so in answer £20 is fine or get tem something unique or personal like a photo of all of you, two of the best presents we got were a picnic basket and a drinks globe.
hope that helps

Respect their request and don’t buy a gift? If you want to do something nice for them, perhaps you could make a donation to their favourite charity.

£50 – 70, or £20-30 more than your peers are giving.

It’s one off. Be generous, they will remember you for it.

As to what? Give something which is associated with either your home town or your current adopted city, especailly if it is not the same place where they are. Where are you from / at?

Get some practical vouchers. We asked for some vouchers, Argos, Ikea, B&Q, and had people handing us M&S ones because “they were posher”. Might be, can’t buy bloody powertools in M&S though can you? Has taken me 16 years of marriage to get around to buying a decent cordless drill.

£50 – 70, or £20-30 more than your peers are giving.

It’s one off. Be generous, they will remember you for it.

5 months on, I can’t remember who gave us what. And yet I can still remember who my best mates are 8)

Personally I would say give what you can afford, £20 or £30 is totally fair IMO. The suggestion from kcr is nice, or could you make them something? Or get something relevant to your friendship, gig tickets or something like that?

make sure the value of your gift covers at least the price of your meal and that of your partner

make sure the value of your gift covers at least the price of your meal and that of your partner

Difficult to know that one, and it’s a bit cheeky to ask I think! I will be going alone though.

My initial thought was 50 quid, which my mum thought might be on the low side, but judging by responses here it doesn’t sound like it at all!

make sure the value of your gift covers at least the price of your meal and that of your partner

LOL, though to be fair you’d need to ask them the cost of the whole shebang and the number of guests and work it out. Or you could sack it off and just send them the cost of the invite you’ve declined?

Something else I’ve thought of, do you know where they’re going on honeymoon? Could always get them some currency for that.

Difficult to know that one, and it’s a bit cheeky to ask I think! I will be going alone though.

I’ll come with you, and leave the present to me.

Will be buying this week so trying to rekindle this for some more opinions: anyone?

£50 john lewis vouchers can’t go wrong

When we got married we were the 4th wedding of friends that summer each a month apart, we went for gifts/ vouchers of £50. This was 7 years ago. Seemed the appropriate amount.

I follow a strict rule. As I am never going to get married there is no element of payback, so I figure out around what the dinner and/or drinks will have cost them and that is the amount of vouchers/gift value the happy couple get.

Call me cold if you want !

Dont buy Vouchers! Buy something that they will love and that you have put thought into. Just my opinion.

i tend to go £50 on family, £20-£50 on friends depending
my sister and my best man did significantly better out of me at their weddings…

from the other side, got married in Sept last year….. i remember quite a few of the non specific presents (champagne, piccy frames, etc) but in general the vouchers* have become a blur, despite them being diligently noted and thanked etc

we requested vouchers and have some significant purchases from them…. but i cant tie them to a person really

so go present.

There is always the Ann Summers option for wedding presents

make sure the value of your gift covers at least the price of your meal and that of your partner

Can you take off the value of other costs you’ve incurred, like staying in a hotel for the night?

It ends up defeating the point of the whole thing if start making those sort of calclulations. You don’t get married and invite people and expect to break even with pressies. I’m pretty sure that’s not why people invite you to go along, otherwise you may as well sell tickets.

There is always the Ann Summers option for wedding presents

A rampant rabbit?

Well I wish people wouldn’t get married and save us all this bother, or at least just slide off to the registry office in their best jeans with a bottle of champagne. So many weddings are pointless displays of wealth that they don’t have and nauseating sentiment.

(I’ll never get invited to a wedding again with any luck)

£5 off Wiggle voucher?? 😆

Give them an IOU for a meal out, then treat them to a decent meal sometime in the future.

For our wedding a friend made a donation to a charity on our behalf which was nice and thoughtful.

So many weddings are pointless displays of wealth that they don’t have and nauseating sentiment.

(I’ll never get invited to a wedding again with any luck)

If you don’t like them that much then just decline the invitation. I can’t say that those I’ve been to match your description, they tend to be more like slightly out of control parties. but that’s probably just my group of mates. Ironically the most opulent one was probably the most fun. Pogo-ing with 30 of your mates in an alpine hotel bar will live long in the memory 🙂