Our lovelorn young buck starts the story obsessed with the physical form, as he falls into dispair he grows and matures, becoming better if slightly more pathetic throughout the novel, coming to teh conclusion that beauty runs so much deeper.
Our hero pops the question and the object of desire accepts gracefully despite having been quietly praying for such a proposal ever since the akward meeting in the corridor weeks before.
They meet outside the pictures and he treats her to many stories of his prowess on a bicycle but she’s only half listening as she finds his spindly bikers legs and acne are making her tingle in her special places. They eat a decent enough meal at a chain Italian, she offers to go dutch but he pays and after a few jars in the local and more half heard conversation she invites him back for coffee. After a short fumble and much panting he realises that a simple question has led him to nirvana.
Following his rejection in the showers, Barry goes the other way and get’s together with ‘the girl’… they are happy together and have beautiful babies.
Brycerw : “I’ve been thinking, you should see my Cock”
girl “I’m sorry”
Brycerw “Yeah, we should, y’know, get it together.”
girl “I wouldn’t **** you if you were the MD of this dump”
Brycrw “why are you fighting it, you want it, I want it, lets get together and feel alright”
girl “You couldn’t make me feel alright even if you stapled your toungue to my clit and sat on a tumble dryer”
i find a simple straight forward approach works… something along the lines of:
“you is well fit bruv, wanna ride in my corsa down to the Maccy-D’s carpark?”
or
“excuse me young lady, i wasnt aware its bring your sexy daughter to work day, what department does your mum work in?” (they like to feel young and attractive these wimminz)
or
“i bet i can weigh your boobies”
*grab boobs, give them a jiggle and shout “waheyy!”*
or rent a private jet and tell her to suck your tongue.
my only experience with asking women out biking is that you end up traveling miles to do a ride that is a 3rd of your normal distanceand you feel cheated that you didnt break a sweat and you end up cleaner their bike for them.
apologies to all women who ride long distances and clean their own bike
I expect he is reciting a mantra in the gents lavatories before he chances his arm with our heroine. Chances are she is frothing at the gash but he is blind to it.
Agreed Andy. Not only that but I think he’s helped with a potential best seller.
I can’t remember if I asked for pictures or not, but… if brycerw would be so kind as to post up a picture of himself and the girl then we’ll be able to tell him whether to pursure his dreams or just lock it up in ‘the bank’?