you're really helping your mates out.. that's the only way to get the job done. Give them the pictures they want, in fact make sure its your best bloody work.
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Really upsetting commission...
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Posted 8 months ago #
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When my sister was born with anencephaly (without a skull), the nurses popped a little hat on her and my parents held her and had a polaroid taken (this was 1983). That must have been really hard for them.
My dad's still got the photo in a drawer so I guess it was worth doing, and keeping, for them.
Posted 8 months ago # -
To the OP, this is why the forum is great, because it's populated by you & people like you, you do the job/s that no normal mortal would do, most would run away, you are more of a man than most on this earth.
<Doffs cap>, now crack on son, you know it's the right thing to do.
Chin up.
Posted 8 months ago # -
My first daughter Hannah was stillborn at full term. Completely out of the blue, no problems with the pregancy, until wife went into labour and they couldn't find a heartbeat. We had approx 50mins heads up until Sue went into natural labour. Afterwards we held Hannah for a couple of hours. We managed to take one photo ( back in 97, so pre digital cameras/ mobile phones etc) and one of the nurses took a passport sized snap. Looking back I wish I had fired off the whole film , but understandably had bigger issues on my mind.
Just do the job you've been asked to do to the highest standard possible. You feel shit, I'll wager the parents are in a slightly worse place right now.
Posted 8 months ago # -
totalshell, totally with you there, would have regretted it so much had we not spent time with him etc.
Shall raise a glass to all of the little angels off of this thread tonight.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Perversely, this is a good thread in many ways. I feel sad but also uplifted.
Posted 8 months ago # -
I would try and focus on seeing the children as two young and beautiful spirits who did not quite make it into the world this time around. I would be focussing on the beauty and innocence of young children, and try not to focus too much on the physical side of things. Maybe it was just not their time, and they will one day make it here.
This is one of the nicest things I've ever read on STW.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Wow, really overwhelmed by some of the responses. Thanks so much for all words of encouragement.
I guess I didn't really understand how much this could help with my friends' grieving process, but the experiences of Totalshell, Ourkidsam, Micarms, Dirtyrider and Derek and have been a huge help. Your stories are all just as heartbreaking but knowing that a photo can help makes what I've been asked to do a lot easier.
I spoke to a close friend last night who's an undertaker. He simply told me that whilst it's most difficult with little uns, they just weren't meant for this world.
Cheers everyone, you're not such a bad lot...
Posted 8 months ago # -
Best of luck mate. You're doing a lovely thing for the parents remember that.
Posted 8 months ago # -
When my sister was born with anencephaly (without a skull), the nurses popped a little hat on her and my parents held her and had a polaroid taken (this was 1983). That must have been really hard for them.
My dad's still got the photo in a drawer so I guess it was worth doing, and keeping, for them.
So sad.
I had an older brother who died at 14 days old - it had been a trouble-free pregnancy, but when he was born it was obvious that there was something wrong. It turned out his heart was back to front and had a hole in it, and sadly in 1978 they just couldn't save him. It broke my parent's hearts, and my mother never really recovered - rather than dealing with the grief, she bottled it up. I know my mom wishes she had photos of him (she actually said that the other day, coincidentally), so if you can help your friends Shibboleth, I’m sure you’d be helping them greatly.
Posted 8 months ago # -
It really affected my mum too, I'd say it changed her life. She wrote a book about the whole thing, and I think that helped massively. She had a lot to say about it I guess.
Posted 8 months ago #
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