In work avoidance mode, some random web browsing brought up these questions:

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

and…

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Apparently, these are the questions we really should be asking ourselves…

Anyone on here have the answers?

yes

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

yes, but why walk away if things are going that well when you could walk to the bedroom

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

treat myself to a new bike

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

enjoy the boobies

My answers would be:

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yup. But I was a **** for doing it.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Stay in and watch the Extreme Sports channel all day: Tread BMX, Fantasy Factory, Manhunter… the lot.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Inka-winka-wooh-wah (which translates as enjoy the boobies – thanks Phil)

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Yes. I like pressing buttons.

Trouble is, I’ve answered the questions but I don’t feel any more enlightened or free…

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

This:

Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies – “God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be

If its a boy: when peeing outside, always aim downhill, downwind, and preferably with a view.
If its a girl, the wind direction is less important 🙂

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

god, seriously? Kiss my GF in public properly.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

don’t waste time worrying about shit you can’t change anyway.