I was actually expecting to be contacted by 15 different Taiwanese bike manufacturers, who'd engage in a bidding war. The game plan was that I'd be offered as many bikes as I could take at a cost of 50p each on 90 day credit terms.
I'd realise a 10000% margin on each bike, and use my fortune to become one of the Dragons on the telly. I'd become famous for deciding whether to invest or not from downstairs with Evan Davies, without actually listening to or seeing any of the pitches – because the pitch in the middle of the show is always the good pitch. I'd have Noel Edmonds upstairs acting as my agent, with that red phone of his.
After building my reputation, I'd retire to Scunthorpe, and churn out books on absolutely every area of business, pointing out the fairly obvious. Like Porter does.
Once I'd get bored of that, I'd publish a scandalous autobiography, claiming that there is a pleasant side to Deborah Meaden. And how Peter Jones would go ballistic on a daily basis over Edmond's shirts.
Or on the other hand, I might have had a few thoughts and wondered what the viability of a very small bicycle firm might be, without wanting to invest a huge amount of time.