On a slow descent and a gigantic turd from Dogzilla was lurking in long wet grass and had flicked up from the back wheel wedging itself betwixt my lycra’d crev and the saddle. Wasn’t immediately aware until my thighs felt kind of ‘fudgey’, then the stank hit me.
I stopped, tried handfuls of grass to remove it but it just spread. Was on lunch-break and still had to go to the cash-point lobby in town. So I did. Was horrified to find pretty girl I recognised from work enter the lobby behind me as I waited at the machine. I mumbled a hello and legged it. Had to go to brother’s and borrow clothes so could return to work. Saw a female colleague who knew the girl I’d seen at the cashpoint. I asked her if so-and-so had mentioned if I smelled of shit? ‘she didn’t say’. Then colleague promptly disappeared and obviously went and asked asked the girl – with no explanations as I hadn’t given any as yet. She returned and said, ‘no – she didn’t know that you smelled of shit.’ Gah. Gah. Argh!
