Life… it’s really crap at times.. long post warning.

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  • Life… it’s really crap at times.. long post warning.
  • 1981miked

    Well my sister in law is in hospital in Manchester with a heart that is on it’s way out and there is nothing they can do because of her already fragile body.

    Very long story as short as possible:

    My brave sister in law who has battled relentlessly for many years with her health is having all but her pain killing treatments withdrawn in the next day or so, it all started when she was in her early teens and had leukaemia, she got the treatment for it but the side effects were clear to see, fast forward a few years and she is diagnosed with breast cancer, that gets sorted then she has a stroke which knocks her for 6 in a big way as it effect her already limited mobility, then about 3 years ago she starts having issues with her heart which results in a heart attack.

    They fitted a pacemaker which never really worked properly but she got by and was happy enough. Then about 3 weeks ago she gets admitted in to hospital with chest pains, many tests and head scratching later they transfer her to Manchester to see if she is eligible and strong enough for a potential heart transplant, the problem is/was her heart isn’t in a fit enough state for them to carry out the tests, they tried a procedure on Saturday night to see if they could get it into rhythm where they can do the tests but it hasn’t worked. So between the doctors assessment and her decision they are withdrawing treatment and she doesn’t want to continue with the current course of action.

    My wife and her immediate family are all obviously devastated but they seem to be able to cope so well with these types of things.. plenty experience of it I guess with all her health issues. We live in Dundee so my wife got the train down to Manchester yesterday to essentially say goodbye, I’m at home with our 7 month old daughter, who i must say is being an angel.

    I just can’t believe that’s that and the inevitable is coming but I can honestly say I don’t think I would have managed to fight for as long as she has. She is an inspiration and the definition of courage in the face of adversity in my opinion.

    I feel a bit empty just now and the room must have been dusty when I was feeding my daughter her tea (she looked at me, smiled then touched my face, she knows something isn’t right). I’m taking comfort in knowing she met her last year, we will never let her forget her Aunty and her husband will always be Uncle Matt.

    Well and truly humbled by her bravery and positive outlook.

    Never again will I complain of my own aches and pains which are very much self inflicted by various sporting injuries.

    If you have read this far then I appreciate your time, just had to get it off my chest, so much more I want to say but I can’t put it into words. I’m off to look at my baby girl and be thankful for what I have.

    Night all.

    Premier Icon Cougar

    I’m not good with this sort of stuff because I’m not neurotypical but I will say one thing.  At least she got to say goodbye, many many folk don’t.

    Premier Icon MrOvershoot

    I feel a bit empty just now and the room must have been dusty when I was feeding my daughter her tea (she looked at me, smiled then touched my face, she knows something isn’t right).

    You had me in bits at that point 🙁

    Premier Icon jamj1974

    No other way to say it – sometimes life is a bastard.  Despite its bastard ness I do totally agree that there are some people who face these things in a way you can only admire.  It might be the grace they manage to retain, their courage they may have looking clearly at the end of their life or the love they continue to share with others.  Some people have that truly special nobility…  I am sure you already knew you were blessed to know them.

    i also know what you mean about small children and grief.  They often just want to comfort somehow.  I’ve known loved animals behave similarly.  A little glimpse of the magic when things are very bleak…?

    Take care,



    I’ve got nothing helpful or clever to say to you mate. But I’m sorry for your families loss.


    Oof, some people get all the sh1t cards, but never complain. I’m glad your wife got to say goodbye- make sure you are there for her when the grief hits, which could be months away.

    Hopefully sharing here has helped.

    Premier Icon LittleNose

    My thoughts are with your wife’s sister and the whole family.


    I totally understand what you are going through having watched my 36 year old brother slip away due to bowel cancer 4 years ago.

    My kids (who were 3 and 6 at the time) were amazing, and just seemed to know what to do.

    Take care of your wife.. grief comes in unexpected waves..

    Very sad time for you all, what a courageous lady she is, thoughts with you all, life can seem so unfair at times.


    My thoughts are also with you and your family at this time.

    Very sorry to read that.


    Nothing I can say. Heartbreaking, wish you all strength

    Mr Woppit

    The late Chris Hitchens, who died of cancer, had this to say about life and death, from which you might derive some small comfort:

    “We are expelled from the uterus, as if from the mouth of a cannon which is pointed at a barn door full of hooks and rusty nails.

    The important thing, however, is what we do whilst on that trajectory.”

    From what you write, it sounds like your sister-in-law was a strong fighter who bravely made the best she could of the cards she had been dealt.

    Would that we all were such fine examples of the Stoic attitude, to our own suffering.

    Sorry for your loss.



    Thoughts are with you.

    It’s good to cry, don’t hold it back.


    Courage is the virtue which makes all the others possible.

    Your sister in law sounds like an incredibly brave person.

    Sorry for your loss. Take care.


    So sorry to read this.

    You can take comfort in the fact your Sister in law was so brave and had a very good way of coping (where many of us would have have been moaning at the first fence).

    Bunnyhop x

    Premier Icon tuskaloosa

    So sorry to hear, wish you and your families the strength to cope during this period.

    “I’ve got nothing helpful or clever to say to you mate. But I’m sorry for your families loss.”

    I can’t really add anything to the above. Sometimes life is a bastard. All the very best from this corner of the world.

    Premier Icon pedroball

    So sorry to hear this, just awful for her and your family.

    Premier Icon Alphabet

    All the best to you and your family.


    Your sister in law sounds like a hell of a brave woman. My thoughts are with you and your family OP.

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