I love climbing trees. The only thing better than climbing trees is climbing trees with my kids.

My wife, who has many years expperience of fixing kids in A&E hates climbing trees. The only thing she hates more than climbing trees is kids climbing trees.

We have a smallish tree in our garden and the kids are up it every day (facilitated by a rope ladder that I attached to help them get up to the first branches. Today our youngest fell out of it, He got away with it this time with just a nasty gash on his leg but could have been much worse.

That has led to a healthy does of I told you so from Mrs. I think adventure and risk is an essential part of growing up and now he has fallen out he is less likely to do so again. She thinks I am irresponsible and should remove the ladder and ban them from the tree, in effect use this as a warning of worse accidents to come.

Who is right?

Everyone

A mate is married to a paediatric A&E consultant.

At their housewarming party I expressed concern at the rickety condition of a climbing frame that about a dozen kids were swarming over. His wife just shrugged and pointed out that if anything happened, there were 3 A&E consultants on hand to deal with it. And a vet.

From a thread about Hellvellyn…

esselgruntfuttock – Member
I don’t know what the world’s coming to!
As a spotty 14yr old schoolkid waaay back in 1971 our school did an outward bound trip to Howtown along with a party from Wolsingham school. On a day out one of their lads slipped off Striding Edge & pierced his shoulder with his ice axe. He got down ok but went home after hospital treatment. Our instructors obviously did a risk assessment & decided it was ok for an instructor to take a party (including me) straight up to the summit from Red Tarn, all roped up & cutting steps in the snow! This was after a night by the fire in Ruthwaite Lodge.
Wouldn’t happen now, would it? H & S has stopped a lot of fun & sometimes ‘once in a lifetime’ experiences for kids.
Happy days.

POSTED 1 DAY AGO #

Your’e right.

You are. We need to fail and hurt to find limit and conciquenses(sp?) Better to fail on little falls than go too because they are not aware of the risk.

I’m with you – kids are generally really good at finding their own limits – and there is no harm in them getting the odd cut – MrsFla works in the local Kids A&E – she encourages tree climbing, tramplines, biking, etc – although maybe that’s to create work …..

Edit – I’m the one with the rickety climbing frame !

Risk benefit analysis.
Motor skills and judgement versus doing nothing.

Traveling in a car is probably more dangerous.

skateboards, bikes, scooters, trampolines are all dangerous too…
All actively encouraged in the cloudnine house.
Its better they learn how to climb properly from dad rather than doing it themselves and learning by their mistakes. Kids getting outside doing dangerous fun stuff is healthy.

I remember a mate falling out of a tree, and complaining it hurt, his parents told him to toughen up and get over it. It was only after two weeks of his moaning they went to the docs and discovered it was broken!

Jeez, andyfla, please tell me you’ve got rid of that frame by now!

perhaps she feels different to you as the mother, the whole physical connection, giving birth thing.? My mum is very protective of me… ! I dunno though

The only thing I ever recall my dad saying about climbing trees was telling me the safe way to do it. Three points of contact. Test a branch before putting your weight on it etc.

A better approach than trying to ban any activity with potential risks.

On holiday at the moment, eldest child age 10 said he’d been offered a ride on the back of the farm kid’s quad (seen yesterday drifting round corners in a cloud of dust). We told the lad in no uncertain terms that he should not go on said quad – the lad was seen earlier this evening trying to race a mobility scooter around the farm yard with his new pal on the back

To summarise, kids will seek a way to get some sort of thrill where they can, the world is way too sanitised generally

On another note the family covered most of Caernarfon Castle this morning. Those walls seem v.high and those arrow slits pretty wide when trying to stop a 6 yr old from leaning out too far….. Fun but scary

Jeez, andyfla, please tell me you’ve got rid of that frame by now!

Nope, still going strong, next set of children on it now !

If I didn’t let my kids do things based on what I’ve seen over the years they’d go around in a protective bubble.

Divorce her and marry somebody who works with people dying of obesity related diseases.

My wife is always right, but it doesn’t stop me ignoring her when I disagree 🙂

to be fair, she is pretty good about mountain biking, wrestling, british bulldog, mud kitchens, rolling blading, hill walking/scrambling. Just has a bot of thing about tree climbing.

Oh well in that case insist they wear harnesses and rig up an auto-belay to keep her happy 😉

You won’t stop them climbing trees (nor should you). Show them how to do it safely and then let them get on with it.

My response to your wife would be to shrug and say “and”?

I’d rather my kids fell out of trees than sat inside on a computer.

Essential reading for any over-protective parent who can’t see beyond a few cuts and scrapes.

http://andy-kirkpatrick.com/blog/view/risky_play

I would love to see the associated post on Mumsnet for an alternative POV.*

*but OP is right.

My kids are up the apple tree all the time and I leave them to it but wouldn’t be happy with them going really high up trees. My wife’s cousin fell out of a really high pine tree and hit the deck suffering massive trauma and head injury. He wasn’t expected to survive. For children It’s all about understanding risk and learning to assess each situation to make a good choice.

You want danger, OP? Sit your wife down and explain confirmation bias to her, and point out that no one ever went to A&E because they successfully climbed a tree… Good luck with that one.

OP is right

You don’t see kids with plaster casts that much these days, is this good or bad?

When I was in school there were always a few kids with casts. Was a badge of honour really and having people sign them. When coloured casts came along that was so cool 😆

A cool look and a derisory “hush-up Nancy” should do the trick. Do it yourrrrrr wayyyyy.

Timber had the most salient point about danger in modern life:

Traveling in a car is probably more dangerous.

Though mentioning this may curtail trips on a bike to the shops.

My daughter is the same. We get other parents coming running up to us all the time pointing out that she is hanging from branches at the top of trees (Yep the thin spindly ones). Telling us its not safe and that the other kids are trying to copy her.

I cant stop her doing it without restricting something I genuinely enjoy seeing her do.

Why not try another tactic. Take your kids to the local climbing wall and get them into it properly, they may have a talent. That way the wife might relax a bit when she sees that climbing can be a fantastic exercise for the kids whilst being as safe as you can possibly make it. She may even relax enough to accept the tree climbing eventually

We get other parents coming running up to us all the time pointing out that she is hanging from branches at the top of trees (Yep the thin spindly ones). Telling us its not safe and that the other kids are trying to copy her.

If there’s one thing worse than other people’s kids, it’s other kids’ parents! 😆

OP, you’re right, but the climbing wall thing is a brilliant idea. Kids need to learn how not to get hurt and the best way is often to learn the hard way.

Drac – Moderator

If I didn’t let my kids do things based on what I’ve seen over the years they’d go around in a protective bubble.

I saw one of my neighbour’s kids suffocate in their protective bubble. Tragic.

Oh the ironing!

OP – totally right. yer wife very wrong. Next?

As a child you need to learn the limits and how to assess what you do for risk and pain. Climbing a tree is a great way to learn those things. personally I think over protecting kids is mental abuse that will haunt them all their lives more than the pain of, say, the lesson learned breaking a leg.

back in the day in brighton there used to be a sticker bomber who had stickers made up that said ‘climb a tree – go on its fun!’ these were randomly stuck around town. i`d love a few of those.

I have told my kids that bruises caused by doing fun things aren’t bruises, they are “fun badges”.

They like this.

We’ve a woods behind our house. My kids are always up trees. In their minds its like they conduct their evenings and weekends to the accompanying soundtrack to Mission Impossible. I encourage them by building rope swings and dens, and stuff. Why wouldn’t you?

Not long back I had to get the eldest to A&E. Again. This time she fell off the sofa and sprained her knee. So from personal experience I can assert that your wife is wrong. Trees are safe. Sofa’s on the other hand…. lethal!!!

Here’s what the HSE has to say…………..

I am with you on this my son enjoys climbing on walls ledges and balancing I cant wait till he is old/tall enough to climb trees .He has been going to a very pro risk nursery with lots of outside space and structures to climb on it is brilliant to see him becoming more and more physically adept and confident.
That said my wife would tend to incline more to your wife’s position and I think it is the combination of the two contrasting views that gives our son a rounded view of risk.