Your best nerd jokes?
What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?
Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski.
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Jokes that 95% of people won't get
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Posted 9 months ago #
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Posted 9 months ago # -
There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Posted 9 months ago # -
I'll repost:
What goes, "pieces of seven, pieces of seven"?
A parroty error.
Posted 9 months ago # -
There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
... and those who understand ternary.
Posted 9 months ago # -
There are 10 types of people - those that understand binary and those that don't
Posted 9 months ago # -
My dog has no nose.
Posted 9 months ago # -
WELCOME TO TEXT ONLY COUNTERSTRIKEYou are in a dark outdoor map
> GO NORTH
You have been pwned by a grue
Posted 9 months ago # -
Why do nerds always get Halloween and Christmas confused?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.
There should be a godwins law type thing for xkcd references..
Posted 9 months ago # -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banach%E2%80%93Tarski_paradox still none the wiser
Posted 9 months ago # -
I saw a bloke in Tescos wearing that binary "joke" on a t-shirt.
I thought what a suave gentleman. Must have a lot of lady friends.Posted 9 months ago # -
Now that is funny Dez!
Posted 9 months ago # -
Okay, so there's a singularity, see? And he walks up to a supernov...well he doesn't walk up, the Universe is expanding so he kind of moves... Well, actually the singularity isn't moving. He's in one place but the supernova is exploding, well,... they...I mixed it up. There was a physicist and a photon. None of them were walking...
Argon walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here!"
Argon doesn't react.Posted 9 months ago # -
What's yellow and dangerous?
A canary with root password.
Posted 9 months ago # -
A SQL statement walks into a bar and spots a couple of tables. It walks over to them and asks "Can I join you?"
Posted 9 months ago # -
Werner Heisenberg is driving home from the lab one night and he gets pulled over by a policeman, who asks him "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?". "No", replies Heisenberg, "but i know exactly where i am".
Posted 9 months ago # -
A Higgs Boson walks into a catholic church and sits down at a pew.
The priest's doing his rounds, and spots the hypothetical subatomic particle sitting at a pew. The priest says "Oi! You can't come in here. Subatomic particles don't have souls."
The Higgs Boson replies, "Ah! But you can't have Mass without me".
Posted 9 months ago # -
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The fire marshal comes in and issues a citation for exceeding the occupancy permit by an infinite amount, then closes down the bar.
Cougar, too computery, I don't get that SQL one
Posted 9 months ago # -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banach%E2%80%93Tarski_paradox still none the wiser
it seems to be about the difficulties of infinite sets. a concept that lies firmly in {things i don't fully get}
also: eaten by a grue. sounds unpleasant.
Posted 9 months ago # -
How much does energy cost?
80p.
Posted 9 months ago # -
This is my favourite joke...
Do you want to play the rape game?
Posted 9 months ago # -
Two atoms walking down the street.
One exclaims, "blimey, I've just lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second.
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
Posted 9 months ago # -
And so it was to be, that after the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to "Go forth and multiply."
The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind. When Noah asked them why, they replied, "We can't multiply. We're adders."
Noah, being the resourceful man he was, immediately got busy cutting down trees and building a large table with the unfinished lumber Therefrom.
And he saw that it was good.
The snakes were overjoyed when Noah picked them up and placed them on it. Noah and the snakes both knew that even adders could multiply on a log table.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Two scientists walk into a bar... the first one says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he dies.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Comic Sans walks into a bar.
The barman shouts, "get out, we don't serve your type."
Posted 9 months ago # -
I bought the OH a Klein Bottle for her birthday recently.
A right sod to wrap, it was.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Posted 9 months ago # -
A bloke I was talking to the other day was bragging that the temperature of his testicles was -273 degrees Celcius.
Absolute bollocks if you ask me.
Posted 9 months ago # -
See if you can get the mods to change the title from 95% to 99%, RealMan?
Posted 9 months ago # -
Why did police arrest the Adobe Acrobat?
Because he was a pdf-file.
Posted 9 months ago # -
"...The Higgs Boson replies, "Ah! But you can't have Mass without me". "
That punchline deserves a rather better set-up
Posted 9 months ago # -
Referencing the above:
Bloke walks into a chemist and asks for a bottle of adenosine triphosphate.
Chemist: "That'll be 80p"
Posted 9 months ago # -
I bought the OH a Klein Bottle for her birthday recently.
A right sod to wrap, it was.
I LOVE this one. I almost bought a Klein bottle the other day, they look pretty cool. Apparently there's a triple Klein in some museum somewhere, here's a small picture..
Awesome.
Posted 9 months ago # -
That punchline deserves a rather better set-up
Feel free if you're that conCERNed about it.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Bloke walks into a chemist and asks for a bottle of adenosine triphosphate.
I had to look that up; very good, like it. (-:
Posted 9 months ago #
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