I am in the doghouse having been discovered cooking a packet of pigs in blankets that I found in the freezer. I have explained that I was only doing this as a practice run in case my mother-in-law asks me to cook these delicacies on Christmas Day, as I have no desire to ruin everybody’s Christmas by delivering less than perfect trimmings, and that it is merely a coincidence that I waited until after she had gone to bed, but to no avail.

What injustices have you suffered at the hands of a cynical wife or partner?

I once disguised myself as a….oh, hang on…wrong thread.

I’ll see myself out.

I was briefly branded a child snatcher by a complete stranger.

And moments later an idiot, by my wife..

Oh, hang on…..etc

Non, mine is fully trained.

What injustices have you suffered at the hands of a cynical wife or partner?

My wife was grumpy with me for days one time, after I’d been bad to her in one of her dreams.

I’ve suffered at the hands of a wonky dream of the girlfriend’s. I did laugh when she told me which ensured she stayed in a grump for three days.
There was also the time where she was on a fitness trend and declared no more chocolate and pistachio nuts. So that evening I polished the lot off. Queue me getting in the next day to a foul mouth tirade and a mega grump. Once again I laughed. 3 days of bitterness ensued.

I’ve learnt over many years experience that laughing is seldom the correct response

I owned up that the £15 Tesco Finest bouquet of flowers were reduced to £5, thnking my honesty would be appreciated.
It wasn’t.

So the same correction factor will be applied to the next bike purchase value I declare.

and that it is merely a coincidence that I waited until after she had gone to bed, but to no avail.

Did yo really think you would get away with it ?

Stealth is your friend ! think on………. 😀

Call in a favour and get her pulled for braking aggressively* 😉

* Just a joke no offence/slight meant to you or your profession.

😆

Not sure that I really want to subject her to those halfwits!

Did yo really think you would get away with it ?

Rational thought ceases when a foodstuff comprising sausage AND bacon is concerned.

It’s not injustice. The rules changed approximately a millisecond before you committed whatever misdeed it was. It is very akin to the Stalin era show trials.

Sometimes I think I’d rather take my chances in the latter.

I got in trouble for being right last night. This has never happened before and I am still at a loss to what the correct response is.