If you were going to kill yourself, how would you do it?

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If you were going to kill yourself, how would you do it?

57 posts & 46 voices | Started 2 years ago by binners | Latest reply from iDave

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binners - Member

Purely hypothetically of course.

I just watching the 'Daredevils' that was on 4 last week about the nutter doing this:

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/daredevils/video/series-1/episode-1/this-is-jeb

His logic seems impeccable to me. He wasn't that arsed about living, so started jumping off stuff in increasingly dodgy scenarios. And if he does get killed, in his words... "I get what i always wanted'

Difficult to argue with that really. If I came over all 'Suicidal Sid' I rckon I'd have a bit of that first. Is there a better way to go then? Imaginative suggestions please...?

Posted 2 years ago #
simonfbarnes - Member

I always thought I'd jump off the Lune railway viaduct. That way my broken body would be washed out to sea and not bother anyone :o)

Posted 2 years ago #
stumpyjon - Member

I think that bloke has a whole load of other psychosis, trouble is for most people thinking of killing themseleves there is nothing that excites them except possibly the suicide act itself.

Posted 2 years ago #
flatfish - Member

what a pair of happy bastids yous two are

Posted 2 years ago #
Conor - Member

Dunno, but I'll try and take as many of you bastards out as possible.

Posted 2 years ago #
binners - Member

I reckon I'd go for the cocaine and hookers route myself. Though apparently its medically impossible to OD on gak. So effectively you'd have to provoke a massive heart attack (quite easy to induce on gak) by simply shagging too much

Hmmmmmmmm

Posted 2 years ago #
davidtaylforth - Member

asphyxiwank

Posted 2 years ago #
binners - Member

conor - have you thought about Islam? I think, should you feel like popping your cork, they could offer you a way out

Posted 2 years ago #
coolhandluke - Member

Whatever way you decide, don't drive into a lorry. Some twonk did that to my Father in law and not only killed himself but also ruined my father in law's legs.

Posted 2 years ago #
Bunnyhop - Member

There's a handmade chocolate shop near me. I'd break in, stuff myself silly, ignoring the sugar sweats. Then just eat the contents of the shop and stockroom, not sleeping or taking a break and very much like the Monty Python film I might explode after munching though that last 'Leetle waffer theen meent' (said in French waiter type acccent).

Posted 2 years ago #
ton - Member

food would be involved........probably fried............and not vegitarian.

Posted 2 years ago #
joe1983 - Member

Binners, I'm with you although it most definitely is possible to OD on the ole columbian

Posted 2 years ago #
ourmaninthenorth - Member

By eating another of the pizzas I've just had.

Posted 2 years ago #
will - Member

binners - Member
His logic seems impeccable to me. He wasn't that arsed about living, so started jumping off stuff in increasingly dodgy scenarios. And if he does get killed, in his words... "I get what i always wanted'

Difficult to argue with that really. If I came over all 'Suicidal Sid' I rckon I'd have a bit of that first. Is there a better way to go then? Imaginative suggestions please...?

See the problem with that is that you you don't manage to do a proper job a kill yourself and say end up paralysed then your not really going to be too happy!

Me? Well I would kill myself by trying to live as long as i could...

Posted 2 years ago #
sootyandjim - Member

I'd get a sun tan, a back pack and jump the barrier in a South London tube station. The good thing about this is I know the guy who shoots me won't suffer.

Posted 2 years ago #
binners - Member

So Ton - effectively, if you fancied ending it all - you could just move to Glasgae

Posted 2 years ago #
fbk - Member

Perks of the job - I've got all sorts of things I could use relatively painlessly *

* please note - I wouldn't do it, am of sound body and mind, and don't condone the use of drugs......mmmmmkay

Posted 2 years ago #
skidartist - Member

Falling into a black hole which crushes you to a near-singularity, so that you have to be buried in an incredibly tiny coffin that still takes six struggling pallbearers to lift

Posted 2 years ago #
neilsonwheels - Member

Heroin me thinks. Always wanted to give it a go but seen as it fecks your life completly I will never try it. However if I was off to see saint Peter I might as well be smacked off my t!ts.

Failing that the the cocain and hooker route is a good second.

Posted 2 years ago #
Reluctant - Member

I'm with S&J....police assisted suicide is the way to go.

Posted 2 years ago #
binners - Member

Its only just occurred to me: do you reckon thats what he was trying to do?

Posted 2 years ago #
zaskar - Inactive

By having too much sex draining my life force and dying with the satisfaction of satisfied women.

Or Hugh Hefner at 120 and dying during some loving with a few 25yrs old playboy bunnies...

Wakes up and falls off chair...dreaming again

Hef is my role model...

Posted 2 years ago #
waihiboy - Member

if i was ever selfish enough to do it i would set the lazer up in work, pick a nice bit of 316L stainless, set up a nice doodle on Radan, drink a bottle of JD, lay down on the bed wearing a mankeni and my motorbike boots and then wait for the lazer to warm up kick in then draw nice pattern all over my body... not exactly a quick death but i bet i'd be the first go in such a way..

Posted 2 years ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

I would spray my underarms with an aluminium based antiperspirant deodorant.

Posted 2 years ago #
snowslave - Member

There was a taxi driver in Manchester who tied one end of a long rope to a lamp post, the other round his neck, then drove off with rope still attached as fast as possible. I think he hit about 50mph, then the rope got tight rather quickly and pulled his head properly off.

If you're going to do it do it right as George Micheal so rightly sang.....

Posted 2 years ago #
pantsonfire - Member

I dont care how I die as long as I am not there

but drowning in a vat of Mackies vanilla ice cream has its merits

Posted 2 years ago #
falkirk-mark - Member

I would bore myself to death reading shit threads like this

Posted 2 years ago #
waihiboy - Member

[quote]I would bore myself to death reading shit threads like this/quote]

oh the irony!

Posted 2 years ago #
DavidB - Member

I'd be chased off a cliff by a group of fit looking big breasted naked women

Posted 2 years ago #
rightplacerighttime - Member

... on rollerskates?

Posted 2 years ago #
deadlydarcy - Member

A suicide bombing of whatever Orange parade the Paisley family are attending. It'd be my birthday too.

Posted 2 years ago #
theboatman - Member

Sneak back stage at a 50cent gig, slide up to the man and his G unit and enquire if anyone fancied a bumming

But seriously barbiturates or old school anti-depressents, or on the off chance of laying my hands on them anaesthetics, a decade and a half of A&E work has shown me many ways not to do it

Posted 2 years ago #
stompy - Member

I'd slap Chuck Norris's mum..........

Posted 2 years ago #
SST - Member

Sadly I have to say I've considered this subject a few times in my life. I can think of any number of possible methods. Preferably the CO2 sleep/coma/brain dead/actually dead option would be best.
My main concern though would be how I was found and by whom. I wouldn't want anyone I care about to find me, and I don't want to have my ears nibbled off by foxes, so that's home and outside off the list.

Ideally you want to simultaneously "cease to exist", physically and in the minds of anyone who ever met you. Is that even possible yet? If not I'll have to wait for technology to catch up with my brilliant idea

Posted 2 years ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

Ideally you want to simultaneously "cease to exist", physically and in the minds of anyone who ever met you. Is that even possible yet?

Well I'll certainly do my best to forget that you ever existed SST.

Hope that helps

Posted 2 years ago #