strippers
tory mp's in stocks
more strippers
free booze, but only the really rank cheap stuff, white lightening, super lager, that sort of thing
free smokes, but only if it's raining and you need to go at least 100 yrds away from any building to smoke them whilst being shot at by baboons armed with blowpipes loaded with fast-acting laxative
anne widdicombe and gordon brown oiled up for some naked wrestling in avocado puree action
some poor people who're only there to get the free carbolic soap that they mistakenly believe is some form of food, which should be a bit of a laugh
..and some other stuff that's bit on the surreal side