MrsSlim, 41, was told to be highly unlikely to ever be able to conceive over 20 years ago.
3x positive test results later we are both sitting here scratching our heads somewhat.

I would be very interested to hear from any folk with relative experience of ‘older’ parenthood – good advice, things to consider, risks etc.

I thank you.

😉

Congratulations!

Stay up the dry end.

Congratulations 😀

38 when we had our youngest.

My advice, the first couple of months are brutal, great but brutal – assume you got till late summer to prep?

Get on your bike and get as fit a possible, it’ll make it easier to function day after day, after day, after day on a few hours broken kip. That’s the thing that broke me.

Two guys at work first time fathers in their 50s. So count your blessings 🙂

I turned 40 earlier this year and am the proud owner of a nine week old daughter. We also have a (nearly) four year old son. Mrs F is 34. Love them both to bits.

I sometimes worry about how old I’ll be when they are teenagers and am concerned about being a burden on them at a point in their lives when they should be thinking of themselves. Funk Jr still doesn’t sleep well (sat in a chair in his room typing this), so tiredness is a major issue.

The positives far outweigh the negatives though. It’s simply a pleasure watching them and spending time with them. I partiality regret not having them earlier. Mrs F and I have been together for over 17 years, but I had a lot of baggage from my upbringing that put me off having kids for a while. It’s odd because I know I’m a better parent now than I would have been in my late 20’s or early 30’s.

Congratulations and try not to think about it too much and just enjoy being a parent. It’s what I try and do. Good luck OP

Just embrace it ..I was 46 when I became a second time parent and my boy is now 14..
As long as you can handle the fact that most people will automatically think that you are the grandparents 😀
I took great pleasure in putting them right ..
Many congratulations ..it will keep you young !

Get on your bike and get as fit a possible, it’ll make it easier to function day after day, after day, after day on a few hours broken kip. That’s the thing that broke me.

I tried this approach when Funk Jr was born. It resulted in lots of injuries including a broken arm. YMMV. Nearly four years of broken sleep now 😀

I’m 43, missus is 41. Have a 13 month old nipper. Only scare was her blood tests at the 12 week scan threw up a high risk of down syndrome. Was 1:57 risk and classed as high. Spent the next few months proper nervous. Luckily hes totally fine.

Haha flashy, bringa back memorials of my old man that!

Congratulations OP ! It’s the greatest thing eva

46 here.. and we have a 4 year old and a 22 month old.

My other half is 36 mind ..

Best thing I ever did.. well besides the couple of RTW trips, climbing Europe’s highest peaks, getting wasted in Hamburg …..

:@)

Embrace it mate, it will give you a younger outlook and age you all in one food splattered table sitting !

i was 48 when my son was born, partner was 45 (she had her first at 40). no problems at all, despite the experts warning us that they intended to induce a week before due date because we were high-risk (partner disputed, the only high risk factor was age but regular monitoring during pregnancy never gave any cause for concern at all). they didn’t induce, and he was born with minimal assistance (needed ventouse as he wasn’t at the right angle) after a 6 hour labour. both mother and baby were fine, and he’s such a brilliant little 15 month old now.
good luck, and enjoy it all!

brack – Member
46 here..

My other half is 36 mind ..

Was 2 months short of my 40th when we had our eldest. Two more followed within 4.5 years – there wasn’t much on tv. Our eldest is now 6 and not sure we have finished yet, helped my my Wife still being only 38. But I’ve got to think of my sanity at my age 😆

To be honest OP, 30 or 40 you are in ignorant bliss first time round with plenty of sleep and spare time in the bank

Oh..17 year difference here ..Ive also been “accused ” of being her dad too 😆
Age is just a number ..

Congrats SlimJim and MRsSJ. Fingers crossed for you. I’d suggest that you wait until your 12 wk scan before telling everyone and you have a non invasive prenatal test. MrG’s best friend had twins at 44yrs old – that was some lifestyle shock.

43 here when my son was born and Mrs Gti was 41 – we met late in life.

The amnio test will always give a high probability because it is skewed by her age. The first three days are a shock, the next three weeks exhausting and the next three months get better and better. Ours didn’t sleep through until he got onto formula. The key is ROUTINE: kids love routine and hate disruption. After that, reinforce good behaviour and not bad, read to them every night before bed, no matter how young. You’re older, more patient and wiser and the child will benefit from that.

44 here with a 2yo and an almost 4 month old. First 2-4 months are brutal. No sleep, no rest… Well there’s never any rest! You’ll get through, everyone does, then it is better and amazing fun…. Just gets better and better! Congratulations!!

Congratulations!

All the people I know who had their first child in their 40s turned from decent human beings into child having monsters*. So beware! It was like having a child was something so new no-one had ever done before in the history of mankind and it was their duty to inform everyone of every little detail about their child at every available opportunity. From the point they found out onwards it was all they could ever talk about exclusively.

*Ok I only know one couple but still.

hodgynd – Member
Oh..17 year difference here ..Ive also been “accused ” of being her dad too

I was 42 wife 39. son was seven last week. Just as my mates were kicking there kids out of the house I had a new addition.

Although I had to have a **** into a plastic tube (and £5k on a credit card) for the conception. Don’t feel like I have misssed out on having a life to look back on, unlike others I know who had kids early 20s.

Close to fifty and life is ace even if wife’s moaning and work is shit. I never really wanted any kids and had no idea on how to cope with everything, it all seemed to happen organically.

Highly recommended for the older couples IMO.

Is 38 close enough?

I can’t say there have been any specific age-related problems. I’m still fitter than most of my daughters friends parents. Being a bit older, you should also be more settled/wise and be able to bring that to bear.

Congrats!

2 boys here, born when I was 36 and 38 respectively. I know what you mean about worrying about being an old parent when they are in their teens. Got to do your best to keep young!

I will go a little against all the rose tinted stuff up there. The first seven months for both boys was utterly shit with a couple of brief moments of joy. At about 6 months you start to see a bit of interaction and personality so it starts seeming worth it, but I really can’t handle the sleep deprivation and genuinely had moments of nearly chucking them out the window. A couple of times I went out on 100milers leaving at 5am with no sleep as I’d just had enough. Packed my bags one night and nearly walked out. Had a slight breakdown at work… This time round coping better, I am in the back room and haven’t actually slept in my own bed for nearly 9 months now (still get woken all the time), I have in effect given up all my hobbies and have to snatch a bit of time for diy jobs in between all the nap times. Back to survival mode, I am not particularly enjoying this phase.

However, I know it will get better, it was the same with #1 and as soon as he slept through at 7 months it all got better, everything is easier with sleep, so I’m holding out for this with #2. First born is great now, loads of fun and only has the very occasional difficult moment. Life would be utterly tedious without him. It has helped put things in perspective, though I still stress about work regularly.

Prep for an utter shit ride to start with, and if you are lucky and get an easy one, you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about

I was 39, wife, 42, when we had our first. We thought we’d never have one, then stopped caring about it so much then “boom”, the phrase “so i’m never getting a motorbike I suppose” was the first words I uttered when the pea stick was jammed in my face at 7:30am.

She had Gestational Diabetes which was hellish for her, add to that Gastroenteritis that put her in hospital for a week……other than that all was well.

First 18 months for us were pretty bad due to the little one not being able to get the wind up very easily, we went through different bottles and milk before striking gold. Lots of driving around town at 4am trying to get her to sleep.

As said above, get fit, it’s the one thing I wish I did before the little one turned up. I did the opposite and suffered for it.

And, congratulations

Congratulations!

Trust me when he/she arrives any reservations will be forgotten!

Think society is older as a whole now, heck I’ll be working till I’m 80 at this rate.

Im 40 and have a 19 month old daughter and one due in May. If anything it’s given me the drive to stay fit.

Not that I feel it would have any massive impact on her happiness but I am in a much better financial position than when I was 30. I’ve also had longer to reflect on the positive aspects of my upbringing and how to replicate those.

As mentioned previously I’d focus my worry on the first few months of hell that is unleashed post birth and how to get as much riding/sleep as possible before then

I will go a little against all the rose tinted stuff up there. The first seven months for both boys was utterly shit with a couple of brief moments of joy.

Ha yea, wish people would actually tell you how hard it really is!!

All those telly adverts with perfect babies and their perfect families used to wind me right up, especially at 4 in the morning when I’d not slept for 72 hours and was covered in baby shit.

You do get through it though.

Just shy of 38 with first and second is due when i will be 6 months off 40.

Biggest changes are the fact i cant just go and do something when I want now and my fitness has plunged at the same rate as my bank balance… we got very used to 2 good salaries and only outgoings fun stuff (bar mortgage) plus holidays in nice places now i cant go to tesco for a sandwich without 20 quids worth of baby stuff

I can barely remember the first couple months and fecked up at work for sure due to not really being with it but I still wouldnt change a thing. The first time you realise they totally adore you no matter what you are melts your heart. And being welcomed home every night is great.

Cant wait for number 2 …

I often contemplate how our species survived when our offspring do everything they can to make you a zombie for the first 6+ months. I sometimes have trouble working a coffee machine let alone hunting some food for dinner

I’m 45, soon-to-be 46, and we had our youngest when we were both 41.

To be honest, I credit having kids with keeping me young. They give you an excuse to enjoy things like Christmas the way you might have when you were young; they force you to see the world their way (at least some times); they give you the chance to rediscover things you yourself might have found pleasurable in childhood.

And as for them ‘changing your life’, I have never bought it. They become a part of your life. And while that may change things for a person, so do a lot of factors.

Enjoy it!

41 here and Mrs Kato is 39. We have an 11 month old girl and another on the way

Life changing and all for the better. Don’t have a great deal of time to ride my bikes mind you. Congratulations and enjoy!

38 yr old parents of a 19 month old here.

I got sick of people telling me to “get my sleep in” before she arrived. It’s obviously nonsense, but do make sure you take nothing for granted now. Nothing is the same again, even a quiet night in front of the TV.

To be honest, I found the first few months to be almost a chore, a constant 24/7 cycle of feed, change and try to make the baby sleep. Do whatever it takes to get you through and don’t worry about whether it will form bad habits, habits can be broken and changed when you’ve had a better night’s sleep!

Everyone will say it gets easier and it does, eventually it clicks and you see this little person that you’ve created and are responsible for and it is mind blowing!

34 when number 4 arrived, could not have done it in my 40s, hat’s off to you older Dads

I had twins when i was 41, luckily for me i already had grey hair as they have added a few more. Congrats to both of you.

flap_jack – Member
Two guys at work first time fathers in their 50s. So count your blessings

Wait a minute.
This is a freaking miracle, fooled against millennia of reproductive biology!

Firstly, many congratulations. Secondly, I don’t know if there is any difference in advice for first-time parents whatever the age. My advice would be: –
1). Don’t buy too much stuff!
2). Relax. Everyone is winging it!
3). Look after each other and looking after baby will be easy.

I’m 52 my wife is 42 my son is 6, so I was 45 ish when we and the NHS conceived him.
Having a baby wise it is a hard life changing life but the most rewarding thing you do . The first months are utterly exhaustingly focused on the child. But like any trauma you black it out afterwards.
On the age thing I was very aware of it at first but a) many more people are having first children older now ,b) my life at 50+ is younger in attitude than my dad’s was at 30 and c) the life you have had up to now equips you to be the father you now need to be. Having had quite a full life before crankbrat I’m now more than happy to focus on and enjoy being with him.
Top tip ensure you get to enjoy time alone with your partner , a child free weekend in a nice place is a good break even if your entire conversation is about your absent offspring.

I’ll put a bit of a downer on it and say being pregnant does not necessarily lead to having a baby. Miscarriage is very very common and it has likely happened to most of the couples you know.
Being a parent is very rewarding but also brutal. I really suffer without sleep and remember woefully my days before wife and kids.

PostScript congratulations and everything will be ok , and anything that is not ok is just a phase.

Just to add I genuinely dont remember much of the first few months with either of my kids, think I was just so sleep deprived I just soldiered through it on autopilot but bonus is I dont remember much about how bad it obviously was…

Don’t do it!

Oh,…wait..

Congrats OP, still hope for me then