Kids nearly grown up now, but we discussed what holidays we wanted with each other and the family. I would never ever have booked a weekend I knew the OH wouldn’t like and vice versa.

Either the OP has communicated his views rather poorly, or his OH has screwed up badly.

Only the OP knows which it is…
If the former, go with an open mind
If the latter, he should dig heels in now and cancel, providing he can come up with a better alternative.

Leon has appalling rear vision.

If you are thinking practicality, what about a Yeti?

Off to Zell am See tomorrow – yes a bit of a gentle place but my Partner’s first attempt at Skiing…

Wish me luck… 😯

Was this for tennis or golfers elbow?

I used to do these a fair amount. They can take 1-2 weeks or longer to work… But mounting evidence suggests they aren’t brilliant as a long term treatment and my colleagues and I have pretty well stopped doing them.

Thanks. That’s what I thought,

Damn

Sad to hear you’ve lost the love. But not everything is for ever…

Possibly more in keeping with the ethos here if we got a “hate” button first? 😉

so many people, so wrong, so little time.

thought mrsfry was a sock for ages… think I know now.

Davesport sounds fun. Bottom line – this is a really weird thing to ask. You do not, repeat not, want to receive anything other than o neg, or freshly and newly cross-matched blood. Do not trust blood from a place which cannot do this.

ok peeps…

not on the birth certificate

not tested at birth

not tested on any routine blood tests unless you are pregnant or going to have a tranfusion or major operation

not necessary otherwise

Lots of people ask,and unless you’ve been pregnant, given blood or had a transfusion you will not have been tested.

And it is pointless knowing…

You can be given O- in an emergency. In every other circumstance perhaps outside war zones, they will always test you again before every single transfusion.

I would say your prospective employer is either an idiot or pointlessly nosey or should get on and arrange the test himself.

What are pyjamas?…

I think the head is right to set dresss and behaviour expectations for parents and hopefully the parents will then set expectations for their kids.

Two standouts here for me

Snowpatrol
Oasis

I don’t like Coldplay much but seen them live twice, once on Later, and they were better than I expected

Oh, and yes, Leonard Cohen… WTF?! Bad music for teenage girls 40 years ago… Enough.

FFS – really just don’t go unless you have done something really awful and are totally in your wife’s debt.

or follow Peter Cook’s example

“David Frost rang Peter Cook up some years ago. “Peter, I’m having a little dinner party on behalf of Prince Andrew and his new bride-to-be Sarah Ferguson. I know they’d love to meet you, big fans; Be super if you could make it: Wednesday the twelfth.” “Hang on… I’ll just check my diary.” Pause and rummaging and leafing through diary noises. And then Peter said “Oh dear. I find I’m watching television that night.”

In general the profits and admin costs of most insurers will run towards 30%. Some insurers are very selective and difficult about referrals. And I struggle to think of many things that – outside some of the bigger private London Hospitals – that cost > £10,000 that you’d want handled in the private sector.

Sometimes you get great “Hotel” services and admin, but not always great care when it goes titsup…

So unless you are being paid for in a way which doesn’t over stress your P11d, (after all – employers who are paying for this really want to minimise sickness at the cost of your tax bill…) my standard advice to those who ask, is either be willing to pay private outpatient consults and tests out of cash… or get a quote, then put that amount on one side in an interest earning account as a contingency fund. ie Carry the risk yourself and don’t pay the admin and profit. And stop when you’ve got perhaps 10k in the account.

And do not, repeat do not, go to a private health screen organised by your employers. Almost nothing they do is evidence based, and it can screw your life/critical illness premiums if they find something interesting about which not much can be done.

My elder son went to a Girls Grammar School for 6th form, where a 16 year old girl decided he was her BF, and they got together.

I’ve always been impressed by the common sense of her parents in trusting her and setting this up so that they slept together when he stayed over.

So much better for boys to see a sensible family in action, and not to be having knee-tremblers up against random walls and car bonnets…

Educate your kids, trust them, talk about contraception and STDs, support them and don’t punish them when they get it wrong… Cos we all have.

Lucca – every time.

go by train from there into Florence or Pisa then come back home to a better place.

If you do want to be in Pisa – the Ariston used to be in the best place

For a couple of years I lived with someone half a mile from a pub so good, with such a great social life linked to it, that I think it kept me in a relationship with her 6-8 months longer than I should have.

Still miss that pub, not her…

But I’m seeing other pubs now. 🙂

Not available on 18inch rims… grrrrrr…..

I think if you want to be told one leg is shorter than the other and have your back manipulated Chiro’s are fine, but as most decent physios will now do manipulation I would go to someone who has some scientifically backed training

This.

The roots and underlying philosophy are hilarious.
There are obviously really good people who fix people quickly but it is amazing how many people I see who have been told that one leg is longer and then seem to need long-term 2 weekly sessions.

But Physios, MRIs, Back Surgeons etc often don’t fix things either.

Love of a good woman. My job. Skiing. Seeing theatre and gigs and comedy. Reading books. Drinking with friends.

Vegging out on the sofa right now with my 14 yr old, as my ex has gone away, watching trash tv.

Life is good but put sometimes you need effort into finding interesting things. Do one interesting thing a week.

like that a lot. 🙂

bluehelmet. Two profoundly stupid posts. One sexist. One insulting.

OP. Do you want to spend the next 10yrs in a sexless passionless relationship and then explain to your kids you stayed together “for them”? If you believe she will redevelop an intimate relationship it might be worth staying. But she says she doesn’t and shes had a year to change her mind.

If you’ve been honest and she says that isn’t going to or doesn’t want to change, I’m with Binners. 🙁

Cancer of the pancreas is a bitch. So sorry.

Kids can be surprisingly matter of fact about these things at that age, sometimes more emotional at an older age. They need to know that they aren’t going to die and you aren’t going to die, and they may ask questions about that. Please do not link this to sleep as others have said. Don’t even use the word.

+1 for reading stories to them where old people or animals die in a peaceful way.

molgrips all very reasonable

But the previous thread seemed to suggest he’d really tried and that she was the one pushing for separation previously

In my marriage, I wish I’d been more upfront about the problems and given my wife a clearer view of what was at risk if things didn’t chnage. I think that would have been fairer to her. Might not have changed anything though.

There are people who are happy with companionship and no sex, but someone who wants and needs both is not going to be happy spending the rest of their life with them. And that unhappiness will poison the relationship and affect the kids.

You need to be honest with her, and say where you are in your thinking.
Her options are: 1) do nothing and lose you, 2) Involve you more in her medical stuff so you can understand it, committing to resolving the sex issues, 3) Accept a companionate but open marriage in which you can have sexual but not emotional relationships outside the marriage – be they FWBs or professionals.

The people whose marriages keep going because of arrangements like that don’t exactly advertise.

I use a silicon one and like it.
The joined ones my partner has have led to me burning my wrists lots of times
The best cloth ones I have seen are the very expensive gauntlet Le creuset ones with a magnet to stick them to you oven door. But Ikea gauntlet nearly as good and v cheap.
Do NOT buy the cheap cloth ones from TIGER which I found don’t insulate enought and I am awaiting a response from their head office before sending pair to Trading Standards. 🙁

not a derailment at all – I think you have to judge marriage and CP by what happens when they go wrong, espescially for the kids. Hope she does ok.

badnewz Difficult and horrible for her, but would you really rather they stayed together in a marriage which fundementally wasn’t working, developing years of bitterness and loathing. Perhaps she now be able will meet someone more worthy of her? Marriage is a mutual endeavour, not a sentence. Surely?

I am for the CP availablity – might be something I’d consider with my (female) partner, although marriage would be my preferred option. Perhaps CP could be like a provisional drivers licence?!

yunki nice ninja edit. 😉 Read the OP. Look at the pain. There is a deep selfishness in many alcoholics behaviour. The family have clearly listened and supported and tried. It has to be a two way street. The bloke drinking has to want to change.

I think there are some less than helpful inputs here based on experience of a single person. Yunki I’m looking at you.

Please stop trying to project your own experiences, which are interesting but not necessarily relevant, on to someone else. There’s some really good advice above. There’s a crisis situation here, a family tearing its hair out, and about to piss money up a wall, and someone who appears not to be ready to change.

Rehab just won’t work until he decides and wants to change.

Be there for him but don’t protect him from the consequences of his actions. Tell him you love him but that he is hurting you and your parents. Be there for him but don’t spend your house deposit on him unless he has really really changed

And in the UK you cannot forcibly commit your kids to a drug rehab unit so one poster above is wrong.

There is support for you and your parents out there even if he won’t accept it. Al anon etc…

You can love him and support him without enabling him. Alcoholics can be very very selfish. Don’t get dragged down.

Good luck.

Lots of interesting stuff above, but it doesn’t cover all the bases… Most of it is about treatments, but you need a diagnosis, or at least to rule out some..
If this tinnitus is persistent and you are young you need audiometry.
All sorts of causes including various kinds off deafness, noise exposure, stress, Menieres etc etc etc
If you have it in one ear only at any age you may need an MRI to rule out an acoustic neuroma,

I’m a doc.. Got left sided tinnitus which I only notice now when people mention their tinnitus or I am stressed. 🙂
But I got the tests done.

Go and see your GP

Key questions. Is it pulsatile? Is it one sided? Do you have rotational balance disturbances? Is your hearing impaired? Do you have a history of noise exposure?

Go for it. I did a level Italian at 40. Now 55 and thinking of GCSE Spanish. No education is pointless.

Sadly, simple attractive solutions to complex difficult problems are almost invariably bad solutions.

It is an interesting idea.

But shouldn’t we expect people have to jump through some sort of hoop, or be expected to show some disability or attempt to work before they get benefits?

The current system for assessing disability is not always good, I see this frequently in my job. But I also see people totally disinclined to work and I do feel there should be some sort of moral hazard .

Internet dating etc can work very well indeed. 🙂

But being in a “relationship” with someone who is 275 miles away and never free when you are, and – am I wrong about this? – you don’t talk to regularly on the phone or by facetime – seems crazy.

At worst you are being catfished, at best this ain’t going anywhere.

If you feel something – put your cards on the table – arrange to meet her, but consensually – not as a surprise. And if she delays or makes excuses, DTMFA…

Shag your Sister-in-Law, then tell him??? perhaps not… 😉

Someone has to be honest with him and explain why you and your partner don’t want to see him. There are Biological Families and Logical Families, they aren’t the same and life is too short etc…

We’ve got CQC on wednesday… grrrrr

Ta. Like it. Andy Samberg is great. Wish he was doing more lonely island stuff

Used to post a lot, I mean a lot, on snowHeads. Lurk occasionally now. Even saw CFH over there a year or so back.

It became boring with the same questions coming round again and the chat side of things really all but disappeared

I do lurk properly on PPRUNE. Never posted, never will.