I can’t stop being a kid out on the bike, see stuff, anything, a bench steps natural drops or jumps, whatever and I want to ride/fly over up down it, but I am no yoof and a nasty injury is not really a option, but doing this stuff is almost irresistable..
additionally I have done some great landing head first/into immovable object etc. type “stunts” while on solo casual XC type rides, sometimes stuff just happens! that takes some of the fun out of XC..
what to do? practice skills, safely even if you dont ride big stuff it might stop you losing it on a XC ride. I know that practicing stuff has helped me avoid some accidents.
for this reason if no other it’s good to push yourself.